Why Am I So Angry?

[Punky143]

I don't get it. I'm either very sad, or very angry. If there's any in between, then its my child part and at times, its not well received. I have no patience for anyone, especially my husband. He himself has issues but its always me who does or acts a certain way. Or he points out how he's tried in the last week to be this or that leaving me to only feel like a burden. I hit objects and throw things when I get enraged. When he's going on and on when I've asked to please give me space but he continues on. That's when I loose it. But after the fact, I feel like shit. Why am I all if a sudden so angry all the time??

 

[Bristol]

I cant tell you why but i can say that yet again i am exactly where you are so if you want to talk im around :)

 

[Teddy Bear]

I don't get it. I'm either very sad, or very angry. If there's any in between, then its my child part...

Random bursts of anger like this is unfortunately a part of our struggles. There is no definitive reasoning as to why you are having this because everyone's symptoms and problems are different but what I can say is that you have every right to feel the way you do. Especially with your husband not being understanding. I was angry last night myself, throwing things and screaming at the top of my lungs. The pain we go through on a daily basis, it is an amazement we can function in the world at times. You just have to keep your head up and know that we are all here for you. I'm sorry I have no specific answer for you.

 

[Rani G2]

@Punky143

I und er stand what you are going through. I can get very rageful, feeling extremly vindictive. I dream of power, people have to respect me. If not, they will be humilated and destroyed. Physically I cannot harm, but I do with words at times.Urghhh even thinking of this makes me so urgahhhhh.

Shankara

 

[PointlessExistence]

If you haven't had your hormone levels checked lately, it's not a bad idea. PTSD is bad enough. Add hormone imbalance to it, and all the therapy and self-help will only do so much.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

@PointlessExistence: It's a GREAT idea to have hormones checked! Depending on your age, :hug: ((( Punky143 ))):hug: your hormones CAN certainly lead to rage. I was a raging b**ch when I had my last ovary taken out, and before I started taking hormone replacement. A thyroid check is not a bad idea either.

This time of year can bring up all kinds of junk from previous holidays. Even when we think it's all be laid to rest. The things that have happened in the past around the holidays can come up to "hit" us when we least expect it.

I hope you get to feeling better. Hitting pillows can be helpful...self-injury is a hazard when you are blowing up, and throwing things. I always felt worse about myself when I calmed down from a rage episode.

:hug: Hugs and prayers, if ok....
AKJ

 

[Punky143]

I haven't had hormones checked, I'm only 37. Same with thyroid. I have in the past though and it was normal. Like AKJ stated, I could never physically hurt anyone, I've already done that, Halloween night, hit a child so what worse can I possibly do??
I just am a ticking time bomb to those I feel threatened by. If everyone leaves me alone, then I'm fine. Fine is said so deceiving too cause we're never just "fine."

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

May I ask if you're on any meds, like antidepressants? If you have a regular Dr, you might think about asking to try a few months of one°

Is this rage new? Early menopause does happen, and sometimes peri menopause can start several years before actual menopause.
I am just brainstorming.

 

[Punky143]

I'm on very little meds and in the past was on a lot, and got fat. I don't want to med out cause then I'm numbing everything out, again. I do have hot flashes in the afternoon. Perhaps when I see my pcp she'll run those tests. Yes, I'm on a prn of seroquel and no it doesn't seem to help either..and thankfully the rage is fairly new but I feel for anyone who's around "us."

 

[Knak]

@PointlessExistence: It's a GREAT idea to have hormones checked! Depending o...

Sorry to inject my problems but am curious about your suggestion.

I've always hated my husband of 30 years, a gaslighting narcissist who fooled everyone including me. He triggered my debilitating depression from childhood but I got more control with meds about 3 years ago.

A year ago I went off the last bit of estrogen I took for decades but just lately I'm getting increasingly hateful of him. I want to leave but feel incapacitated. I'm am scared of his inevitable undermining over property and creating confusion. He always hid money and things and now got a separate bank account and new car.

He's a consummate liar and I hate the thought of defending myself to lawyers or whoever. I have communication and memory problems. I lost my short term memory almost completely recently.

He feigns concern (makes me sick). He has to know where I am, or today, why I'm sleeping late! Then he tried to get me to take his responsibilities. I told him to leave me alone and live his own f_g life. Control freak! He knows I hate him but he needs the appearance of normalcy.

I quit going outside, not even to church. I don't wash my hair and wear my clothes to bed because I'm too tired to put on pajamas. Did you have a noticeable improvement when your hormones were evaluated and balanced?

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

@Knak I did get better with hormone therapy, but I wasn't married to a creep by then. It sounds like you are more at the end of your rope with your husband, and SUPER depressed...

I have had worse hot flashes since going off my estrogen earlier this year. I am 60 and had a breast lump that turned out fine, but they wanted me off hormones.

Good luck...and maybe you can find a good lawyer to help you get out of your marriage?

 

[moshpitmunkey]

If you haven't had your hormone levels checked lately, it's not a bad idea. PTSD is bad enou...

I've been feeling similar and never thought that it could be a hormone imbalance. Good input