Why Are Needles, An Emotional Trigger, For Me?

[therisa]

I do not understand why needles are, such, a powerful emotional trigger, for me. The mere sight of one, can generate, for me, a very powerful fight or flight response. As I begin to experience an overpowering panic attack. The reason, I am asking, this question is, because I am, a pre-Insulin diabetic, and the thought of having to inject myself, horrifies me.

I know, as a child, I have undergone multiple operations, which two of them, were, a life or death situation, for me. A near electrocution, when I was four, and a cancer scare, at 16.

Over the years, I have experienced a few memories, which pop out at me, in the way that I have reacted to a medical staff, trying to stick a needle, into my body. The first one, occurred in 1984, when I was hospitalized (I can’t remember, why), it took seven nurses, to hold me down, before they were able to do, the needed blood work, to check my hydration levels. The other time occurred, in 2011, when a nurse, at my doctor’s office, tried to give me, a booster shot for the Pneumococcal Vaccine. She made the cardinal mistake, of announcing that she was about to plunge the needle, into my upper arm, when I turned around, and saw the long needle, coming towards me.

Not sure, if it was, my leaping of the chair, and moving towards the fourth floor window, or she saw, how huge my eyes had gotten, in reaction, to the needle. But, she postponed the needle, for another time, stabbing me, when I had my eyes closed and unannounced. Don’t even want to talk about my quarterly blood work; I need to have done, to check my liver and kidney functioning level. Best to say, that chair has several new indentations, which didn’t exist before.

 

[cherryblossom]

I don't think that there has to be a rational explanation for our phobia's. I'm arachnophobic (fear of spiders), yet no spider has ever done me harm. I've never been bitten, or attacked (lol!) by a spider. I've never encountered a venomous spider, yet the fear is still there. And it causes incredible anxiety when encountered. However, I've had to work out a way to deal with it, simply through exposure and having no choice but to deal with them when they enter my home. My brother has a huge phobia of heights, yet nothing bad has ever happened to him to explain that fear. He's never had an injury caused by being at height, nor has he witnessed such.

Anyway, my spider phobia and my brother's fear of heights is by the by. They are just examples that show how our fears don't necessarily have a sinister or even rational cause. He avoids heights, and I avoid spiders (where possible).

But it doesn't seem like you are in a position to avoid needles. I think you could get some very positive results with combined CBT and exposure therapy. I know that prospect of facing your fear, and facing needles is more than scary, but it probably would be best to tackle this before you get to the point of having to inject daily.

If you do become an insulin dependent diabetic, then that will have a huge impact on your life. If you have already conquered your needle phobia, then that transition will be a whole lot easier.

 

[saffy]

I am not surprised taking into consideration your past experiences with needles. As a child going through operations it is very traumatic and at no point was having a needle a positive experience.

However, the need for it now is positive. However, I feel you should see someone because what ever happens you have to learn to control this fear now.

I used to really be scared of spiders. My mother was and as a young child would see her scream and run away from them. This instilled in me, by her actions and responses, that they must be feared. After all we learn queues from our parents when we develop as to what is dangerous or not. If something can make someone scream and run it must be very dangerous.

For me I realised this was irrational, at least in the UK where there are no poisonous ones :).

SO I did a study of them. Learnt everything about them. Very fascinating animals actually. :) I have a healthy respect and understanding of them now. And although I would not catch one to hold, they do not bother me on the wall any more :)

I always believe that fear is a learnt behaviour based on the extent of your survival needs. Anxiety is an emotional by product. Hope that makes sense. :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[therisa]

Cherryblossom, I had to overcome part of my fear of needles, before I could start the estrogen part, of my hormonal replace therapy. I had trouble using my lancet, to prick a finger, to get a bead of blood, to test my glucose levels. This September 20th, will mark the fifth anniversity, for this. But, my anxiety towards needles, remains, a constant companion, to me.

Thak you, Saffy, for your understanding and support. I have tried, within my diabetic nurse's office, to use an insulin pen, filled with water, to inject myself. If I was forced to, I would still have trouble, pushing the plunger, to release the insulin, into my body.

Sigh.

 

[saffy]

Sorry to hear this. Therisa.

One thing I heard years ago was a type of positive aversion therapy. Which means you try to associate the act with something really nice. Like telling yourself that it feels like the tingling of a drop of refreshing ice water. you can go on with imagining the the drop is so refreshing it makes you rush with glee. like the feeling you get when really hot and you welcome a spray of cold ice water. Think happy thoughts. get some music too if you need. or some people smell a nice scent at the same time. :)

After awhile the association of needles is more pleasant and positive. Worth a try maybe?

Anyway, thought I would share that after thinking about things you can do. :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[therisa]

Sorry, Saffy, for the long pause, before replying back to you.

Not sure, if this will wok, but it beats, having an anxiety/panic attack, everytime, I need to get a shot or have bloodwork done.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

You could call one of us on the phone while you do it?

Idk, just a thought. Maybe it's dumb.

I would do it if you want. We could make a song out of it :)

 

[Britt.f7]

I had heart surgery at the age of two. I'm pretty sure, from then on, needles or white coats scared the devil out of me. I know I screamed when I was a child. Once I had to have two teeth pulled and the dentist came to numb me. I wouldn't open my mouth so he had to pull my lip down. (he told my mom I was good though and gave me a prize ;)). My son, who had a lot of respiratory emergencies before the age of three was pretty much the same way. He is better now, but still hates to have shots. He's relieved that he won't have any for awhile. However, this is the same child who held my hand and gave me his sticker when I received my shot. He knew I was nervous. I have a cousin who sounds more like you, but I don't remember if she ever had the early medical experiences.

In my early twenties, I decided to start giving blood. I had to really talk my way through that. I think exposure to that really helped quell my fear instead of making it worse. I can no longer give blood, but I do have to have my blood drawn several times a year. I'm much better at it, but still nervous. Some nurses/phlebotomists (sp?) are better at it than others I've found. I had one where you didn't even feel it happening. She was wonderful. I wish they were all like that.

I think what you experienced could very well contribute to your fear. Sometimes it helps finding the why, not always, and maybe not, but sometimes. I wish you the strength to work through it. I know from experience, this is not always easy.

 

[therisa]

StrongerNow, you wouldn't want to torture the men/women, who draw my blood or give me, a shot. Would you? :P

Thank you, Britt. Just wish things were easier, for me. I got my dentist, today, at noon. And I know why, I have anxiety attacks, with my appointments. Past history with another dentist, when I was a child.

 

[Britt.f7]

Therisa, I love my dentist and usually I hate going to them. I still fill with anxiety when seeing him but I trust him which is more than I can say for any other dentist. Already told him if he retires I'm showing up at his house. He is one of the few dentists that hasn't put me down for my phobias.

 

[therisa]

Britt, for the past 5 years, I have going to a very compassionate and understanding dentist. She takes the time, to talk to me, and get me, relaxed, before she enters my mouth, and has a conversation with me, just to take my mind off of the work, she's doing.