Why are relationships so fragile?

[physicist13]

This might not be the case for everyone, but I feel that (with the exception of a very small group of people), all my relationships are fragile. Even if I've known a person for a while, I have no problem changing my opinion on them after 1 negative interaction.

For example, a really good friend of mine said that an author I like fetishizes young girls. I haven't spoken to them since because I found this really offensive-- accusing someone (including a famous person) of pedophilia just because you don't like them or their work kind of trivializes abuse in my opinion.
Anyways, I've decided to talk to this friend and tell them why I was offended by what they said, but over the past week I've also noticed (once again) that I would have little issue just cutting them out of my life. Most people don't end friendships over something like this, but it's just so easy for me (with most people, there are a few people I would have a harder/ impossible time cutting out).

 

[The Albatross]

Egos.

 

[physicist13]

Well, that went terribly... was literally just looking for a "sorry I offended you"-- not sure we're friends anymore

 

[physicist13]

Egos.

My ego, or the ego of the other person? or both?

 

[The Albatross]

Either or, or both.

 

[EveHarrington]

Black and white, all or nothing thinking.

 

[The Albatross]

Offendedness is a choice. When personal opinion or preference prevails over a relationship without keeping in mind one is dealing with an essentially "good willed/just/fair/kind or kindred" person it is not without consequence to the relationship.

 

[A concerned spouse]

Hmmmm. My best friend offends me all the time and that's what I love about her. She is who she is and shoots straight from the hip and doesn't sugar coat as anything for me. That's why she's my best friend. I can always count on her truth. She is always who she is and we don't see eye to eye on many things. But bottom line we are all unique and different and no 2 people are the same so we are bound to offend others without realizing it. So forgiveness, understanding, and allowing people to be who they are and having their own thoughts and opinions makes lasting and beautiful friendships.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Cause everyone has feeling, different points of view, different boundaries, different values, different personalities and mental illness too. All of these things complicate relationships.

 

[LuckiLee]

Maybe you didn't like them all that much in the first place?? And that comment confirmed it? The older I get the more I realize it's not the quantity of friends we have that's important but the quality of friends...

:)


Idk. That's just my take on it.