Why Are There So Many Members That Don't Post

[Awakening]

I regularly posted on this forum, and then I fell pregnant. Best thing that ever happened to me because it forced me to concentrate on someone else but also to live in the present i.e. from nappy change to sleep to the next feed. I also really knuckled down in therapy knowing I was about to be responsible for another life and really kicked some goals there.

I am much better at handling my PTS, and if I come onto this forum too much then I believe I will sink back into the victim/stuck in the past mindset that I had.

I think if you are logging onto this forum more then once per week or maybe logging on multiple times but spending more then 1 hour a week on this forum then you are possibly avoiding realing dealing with your issues in the real world.

I believe this forum is extremely valuable but only if you take on board the support, advice & challenges offered and apply it to the real word i.e in therapy, in the workplace, with your significant others.

The forum at one stage was a way of me testing out new ways of being & experiencing without any real threat because it was behind a computer screen. The real challenge was doing that in real life. I used the forum for awhile as a good avoidance strategy & lied to myself that I was trying really hard.

 

[Grama-Herc]

When I first found this forum, I was elated! I read a lot and decided it was a good place to find out just what this PTSD was all about. Took me a little while to join, but I am extremely glad I did.

You go through phases when you just need a break. The best advise I was ever given was when I felt like I was overloaded from the forum was to go away for a while. That is another reason why you see inactive people.

In fact, Anthony encourages periodic breaks from the forum. But when it is all said and don't everyone uses this place the way that works for them.

 

[suzie q]

Please accept my most sincere apologies to those who may have become offended by any remark I made in this post.

My intention was to understand this process and open a line of communication, NOT JUDGE. I have absolutely no right to judge in any way! I'm sorry if the post sounded "snotty".

I honestly want to understand how to best use the forum and follow the rules stated. I have become very passionate about my recovery, and I agree, everyone must process their pain at their own pace. I have always been encouraged to process mine at my own pace, and I wish that for anyone reaching out.

I really have a lot of work to do on the values of care-fronting.
Again, I am very sorry for any misunderstanding!

suzie q

 

[Dylan]

Hi SuzieQ,

My own experience is that I found this forum when I was highly symptomatic (during a "meltdown" phase) and I used it as emergency/critical care support (along with a lot of other support - counseling, etc.). For those who post once or twice, I wonder if after their emergency support gathering that their in-person support isn't enough and they stick mainly with that. I think if I could find an in-person PTSD group I would probably be less active online.

For myself, my participation on the forum is an ebb and flow process. Sometimes when I'm doing well I'll still post quite a bit - encouragement, experience, hope. When I'm doing poorly I come here to know I'm not alone, to share what I'm going through, to commiserate. Sometimes I'm so down that I feel the need to 'hunker down' and just lurk, reading posts and getting some one-step-removed support.

Some of us, like myself, have CPTSD. I don't know what it's like for those with PTSD, but this has been one hell of a long row to hoe and there is no top of the mountain - it's a mountain range that, I have finally come to believe, will span the rest of my life. I've learned to pace myself. For me it truly is much like (Type I) diabetes and cancer: like diabetes in that it's a chronic condition I must monitor and respond to, and like cancer in that - as Mina said - I can have times of remission, but that it will always be "there".

Does that help?

-Dylan

 

[suzie q]

Thanks Dylan!!

Your reply did help me understand that I need to lighten up and stay focused on the things that are important in this process. Sharing in a caring way, projecting strength and hope to those who feel lost, and keeping my harsh opinions to myself. I've been told that I can be controversial sometimes.

Sharing your experience helps me to better understand the complex levels of processing our pain and how I should go about posting without hurting or triggering those who are on their own path. I apologize for the lack of respect my posting had. I feel really stupid...:doh::doh::doh:

suzie q

 

[kayjay]

I reckon there's a time for everything, and like it's already been said, a time for working on your trauma.
And there's a time for using this forum to best help that process too.

Just coz I don't post doesn't mean I'm in denial and not facing the fight I've got in front of me each day. There's times when I benefit most by NOT using the forum, for having times when I'm not reading it. The cancer analogy is a good one (kudos to Mina) sure you're always aware you've got it and you do what you need to do to be as well as you can be each day, but it's not healthy to become fixated or obsessed with it.

You seem like you care about people in pain and want to help, but I guess it's important to remember that people are individuals, what's best for you isn't always what's best for another.

KJ

 

[Mina]

Hi, SuzieQ - I don't think you should judge yourself so harshly, either :smile: You asked a good and valid question! I personally didn't think your post was snotty, but did want to provide another perspective that perhaps you weren't aware of. This journey is different for all of us...it's wonderful how we can learn from each other!

On a side note, it's really kind of you to consider whether or not your posts would be triggering to others, but please don't let that stop you from posting or asking questions. What's triggering to one person may or may not be to someone else, and there's triggering content all over the forum, so please don't feel you have to censor yourself. None of us would get much healing done otherwise :wink:

 

[suzie q]

Hey KJ,
You are exactly right. Thanks for the post!

suzie q

 

[suzie q]

Mina,

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I understand where you are coming from, and your input has helped me understand how to look at both sides before commenting. I would never want to slow down the healing process for anyone, therefore I will be much more careful in the future.

I really appreciate the guidance you provide! Hope to hear more from you in the future.

suzie q

 

[ISupportHer]

As A Carer

I have noticed a change in my posts. Any questions or problems I have go in carers only now. To great a risk of hurting my wife if she happened to come across them.

I do read a lot of threads without responding. I am so, what's the word, amazed? No, I feel kind of honored, that I can read others' posts. Their feelings, fears and difficulties. My wife does not share a lot of these things with me and it helps me knowing what others experience and therefore maybe what is behind what I see at home.

Sometimes I feel like, since I cannot in any way say I know how you (collectively) feel, I should just not try to contribute. I say that sometimes. That I don't know what to say but am thinking of them. But I really always have those feelings.

I would also assume I am not alone in saying sometimes, in the bad times, I just cannot read another post. Hear another person in pain. I do not know how the editors and moderators do it, honestly.

But then I crawl out of those holes and come back and start participating again. And hell, I'm just a carer. Maybe not "just" but there are those whom I feel just cannot do that. Pick themselves up and come back, I mean.

I see a little bit of a metaphor with addictions. The concept that some bottom out a lot before that one time that is THE bottom for them and they start recovery. Some passing through here just are not ready yet or do not have the self awareness yet.

Lots of other aspects for sure but I am rambling now.

Just a sincere thanks to all those here who do find the strength to use this forum to help themselves heal or to help a loved one get by.

 

[heather q]

Sometimes I get on line and I find I can't read anything at all, other times I can, it just depends on what's going on with me. Even if I want to contribute there are times when I let it go. There are times when I feel that I need to keep to myself because I don't want to become triggered.

It's a moment by moment individual thing, there is no ryme or reason or consistency, I have reaized that I'm better off at times when I read or write less, it doesn't take much for me get overwhelmed. But when I don't write I don't get the much needed support, so I have to learn as I go.

Heather

 

[Squarepusher]

If you are in pain, I would think this would be the place to start your journey. I have seen many here with therapy histories and have read a couple hundred threads of persons who have posted and they seem to be saying the same thing...you're in a place of healing, we can help. So many that just register, complain about their situation, ask a question or two that doesn't seem to be about PTSD, then they stop. There are those who also stay on for awhile until they feel like their current trauma is finished. Did they not understand that PTSD has no cure and must be worked on for life?

Maybe I'm just a little harsh, but the only way I've ever found serenity in my life was to embrace my symptoms, and when they pop up, I go searching for relief. I've been through therapy and medications and treatment centers and meetings for my addictions. All this helped,until recently, when I realized I needed to find a different style of help. I've never tried the internet for support, but when I found this link and began to investigate, I couldn't stop trying. I know it's a process and I'm willing to go to any length to feel healthy. I'm not tooting my own horn, I just feel very passionate about people getting the help they need!

Is there any way that this forum can encourage more to continue? I know we are not councelors, and I sure as hell don't want to be one, but I just feel that there has to be some way to help others open up in a safe and informative way. I just haven't been around this long enough to see what that may be and I don't want to step out of bounds in ANY way. Are there really THAT many people who freak and never come back?

Haha, you kind of described me. I joined a few years back, posted and freaked. I browse now, but just not sure what to say. I think its because I try to ignore my ptsd or pretend it doesn't exist is the only way I know how to cope, so coming to this board doesn't really help that...

or...


it might be the scenario where you do not want to focus on something, or dwell. Like, imaging if you broke your finger. Then, would you want to spend so much time just concentrating on your finger? Or would you want to try to get on with your life, and not hurt your finger. This may describe my behaviors