HI,
I'm really struggling and find myself in tears a lot lately (in private of course, I don't have enough time to cry in front of anyone). My spouse has had two very rough tours in Afghanistan and while he has been seeking help his behaviour has been escalating and everyone can see it but him. He suffered from very VERY violent nightmares for about 9 months after coming back where I was being attacked 3 or 4 times a night, we moved into separate bedrooms after he choked me in his sleep. During the day he was fantastic and a total gentleman, at night he's been incredibly unpredictable.
With time and counselling his nightmares started to get better (he's by no means fixed but he no longer attacks me, though I am still recovering from the fear of it). His day time behaviour is starting to slip. At first I blamed it on him being over tired due to the lack of sleep and his constant working of two jobs, then I got mad and hurt and thought that he just didn't care because he seemed to be so "together" at work but now I see it's affecting him there too. I feel like I'm living with an alzhiemers patient! I have to repeat myself 8 or 9 times, he's constantly forgetting EVERYTHING (even with his lists) and he's getting really mad at me because he's constantly feeling attacked.
But he doesn't REMEMBER that we just did the same thing 5 minutes ago, it's horrible. He's starting to react to things that haven't happened and will answer questions or chime in on a conversation with something completely unrelated like it's nothing. It's like there's a different conversation happening in his head. Just to my knowledge he's had three phsychiatrists tell him he has PTSD and that he's going to snap if he doesn't get help, two social workers, a psychologist and a couples counsellor we went to. I agree with them! His friends are commenting (all of whom have already been diagnosed) and he just won't believe it. He thinks that as long as he's not beating me and showing up to work that he's fine, but he's not fine! He's slipping every single day. How can I make him see this? I feel like I've done everything I can do and I don't know how else I can get him into therapy. It's really hurting our relationship and I feel like I'm a single parent again! I'm at a loss, I'm just so exhausted I don't know what to do. He's going to snap, he's snapping at everything and everyone sees it but him.
Help please, this isn't something my friends understand!
I'm really struggling and find myself in tears a lot lately (in private of course, I don't have enough time to cry in front of anyone). My spouse has had two very rough tours in Afghanistan and while he has been seeking help his behaviour has been escalating and everyone can see it but him. He suffered from very VERY violent nightmares for about 9 months after coming back where I was being attacked 3 or 4 times a night, we moved into separate bedrooms after he choked me in his sleep. During the day he was fantastic and a total gentleman, at night he's been incredibly unpredictable.
With time and counselling his nightmares started to get better (he's by no means fixed but he no longer attacks me, though I am still recovering from the fear of it). His day time behaviour is starting to slip. At first I blamed it on him being over tired due to the lack of sleep and his constant working of two jobs, then I got mad and hurt and thought that he just didn't care because he seemed to be so "together" at work but now I see it's affecting him there too. I feel like I'm living with an alzhiemers patient! I have to repeat myself 8 or 9 times, he's constantly forgetting EVERYTHING (even with his lists) and he's getting really mad at me because he's constantly feeling attacked.
But he doesn't REMEMBER that we just did the same thing 5 minutes ago, it's horrible. He's starting to react to things that haven't happened and will answer questions or chime in on a conversation with something completely unrelated like it's nothing. It's like there's a different conversation happening in his head. Just to my knowledge he's had three phsychiatrists tell him he has PTSD and that he's going to snap if he doesn't get help, two social workers, a psychologist and a couples counsellor we went to. I agree with them! His friends are commenting (all of whom have already been diagnosed) and he just won't believe it. He thinks that as long as he's not beating me and showing up to work that he's fine, but he's not fine! He's slipping every single day. How can I make him see this? I feel like I've done everything I can do and I don't know how else I can get him into therapy. It's really hurting our relationship and I feel like I'm a single parent again! I'm at a loss, I'm just so exhausted I don't know what to do. He's going to snap, he's snapping at everything and everyone sees it but him.
Help please, this isn't something my friends understand!
