Why Does Being Praised Feel So Bad?

[heather q]

...then that's proof that I'm the cause of the problem. It's hard facing the reality that my sadness and pain are no longer caused by the people around me. Just remnants of a past that's gone that will never truly go away.

I'm glad you wrote that, I have also 'always been the problem,' I took that on from day one, or before! I'm working on it, one way I convinced myself that I was the problem was that I was always there, so I thought - decided that I shouldn't be there. And have been listening to myself all this time, it's been tough.

Praise did nothing for me, because it didn't fit my belief about myself. And now that I am older, I wish I could have absorbed some/more praises during my life, I'm sure now that some of it was appropriate, but I didn't know it at the time, if I praise myself now, I still get disagreement but I don't think it's quite as bad as it was!

 

[Ice_Fire]

My tutor praised me on Friday and I feel really...awkward? She said that she was proud of me (for not self harming and for just keeping going and dealing with all this crap) and my immediate reaction was "I'm not". It's true, I'm not. I feel stupid and pathetic...ooh what an achievement I haven't hurt myself :rolleyes:

But I know she didn't mean to be patronizing at all, I think she is being genuinely nice. Which is lovely. But I don't know how to react. I feel...like I don't deserve the praise.

 

[Eleanor]

I hear you Ice_Fire - and I'm not sure what comes after realizing she meant to be genuinely nice - and you DO deserve credit/praise for short circuiting and unhealthy response. It is not a trivial accomplishment.

AND I'm not sure what it IS that is "supposed" to be felt in response to honest praise...

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thank you Eleanor :)

 

[angel2write]

I agree... not harming yourself is meeting a goal and making progress. I think you deserve :tup::tup::tup:!