Wife of 37 yrs finally tells me she was sexually abused as a child.

[Hooper]

Anecdotally, check out this radio episode about testosterone: 220: Testosterone

Otherwise... is masturbation just not cutting it?

That was fascinating. Especially the transgender's interview. If it were safe I'd like to try it for a month or 2. The power of hormones over the way we think and behave is as amazing as it is powerful. From reading here it's even more amazing sexual trauma is more powerful than hormones. In a rock, paper and scissors world trauma beats hormones. I don't know why but I found it intriguing as hell. Thanks for posting the link.

 

[Tinyflame]

I really really really don't want to butt in here, but is it possible to approach it from maybe looking at how to appease the reward centre of the brain? I realize you've started and generally speaking women's hormones are protective against male cancers, but, what if there is another way that doesn't risk future depression, etc, re: body changes? (I realize this is intolerable for you as is, though.)

I really think you guys are Great to not cheat. Wow. Amazing men you are. :notworthy::hug:

Et, I hope your wives can really put 100% effort in to their recovery tout-de-suite.

 

[Hooper]

Junebug,
My wife amazes me. She's handled this well. Reading Buhdist books helped the most. Life is suffering and bad things happen to good people but you have to move on. She did but it was 25 years ago. She told me in general detail 10 years after it happened. Full details have been 2 years for me. Not to negate your compliment on not cheating I am a germ phobe and I if I cheated I would hate myself so there are selfish reasons involved. The end result is the same though. I hate to take men down a notch but my motivations aren't perfectly pure.
hooper

 

[Tinyflame]

No @Hooper it doesn't, for one thing I just see it as being a 'germ phobe' helps to accomplish it. By analogy, as a kid of about 7 I won this Guiness Book of World Records and being one to remember trivia ('Spermology'- no pun intended :p :rolleyes: ), I remember this Stewardess that fell out of a Lufthansa flight over 30,000 feet and survivd with only a bfroken leg and pelvis. Thanks to that I will never likely die by throwing myself off a building. :rolleyes: :O_o:

Things can work out for a reason. And how do I know, if it prevents something like a future prostate cancer and may be temporary too, then :tup: .

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Phantom Shadow While I understand that this is ultimately your decision..... I think that this is way unfair to you also. You are a man with needs and urges and to chemically shut off those needs, I just feel is just way to much to ask of yourself.

I lived with a man that had issues with having sex. After 5 yrs, I left the relationship. I wasn't about to live my life (at the time) without having sex within a relationship. 30 yrs down the road, I now choose not to be in a relationship and to not have sex. The difference is I don't have a relationship.... You do!!!