Relationship Will Breaking Up Impact His Ptsd Treatment?

[Bfab]

Some weeks ago I went in my bf nightstand to get his meds and saw an empty condom wrapper. I confronted him about cheating and he insists he was not (i intentionally didn't tell him about the condom wrapper). This week I went back to the drawer to count the condoms and the count was less.
Interestingly, he and i haven't had intercourse in 3 months. He only functions if i perform oral pleasure. I also found out he has an active profile on the dating site we met on 8 months ago.
I told him i wasn't happy and we should see other people, that we'd remain friends but i needed to find happiness. He begged me not to leave him, said the dating site was for entertainment and he was happy with me. I agreed to stay out of empathy but now im miserable. I don't trust him, feel used and gullable. I want to end it this week but i get nervous thinking about how it will impact his mental state. Tonight on the phone, he commented that for the first time this year he was actually happy and i hate to be the reason that changes. Can this break up disrupt his ptsd treatment?

 

[hodge]

Hon, as a sufferer, I have to say you don't deserve to be treated like this. If my husband was on a dating site, I'd be furious. I think you have to think about you. In the long run, it won't work if you stay with him just to take care of him while he's sleeping around. Eventually, you will get really resentful -- and for good reason. I know how you feel, but take care of you! He's just going to have to take care of himself. Plenty of people with PTSD do.

 

[Casey_03]

Why are you putting his needs before your own? You don't owe him anything. He's a grown man. Sure, it probably will impact him, but his well-being is his responsibility, not yours. If you stick around for his sake, you are only prolonging your own unhappiness and making the whole situation worse for the both of you. Think of it this way -- if you stick around for him, it will only help things in the short-term, but in the long-term you will be making things more painful for him and for you.

About the condoms: it seems incredibly stupid of him to leave a wrapper in the nightstand if he really is cheating. I wonder if he doesn't use condoms to masturbate? Even if he isn't cheating, however, his being on a dating site for "entertainment" sounds like he's not as happy as he claims to be. And you don't sound happy at all either. From what you describe here, it sounds like the two of you are comfortable with one another and maybe staying in the relationship just to avoid having to face change. But I think it's about time you moved on.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'd confront him about the condoms.

 

[Sideways]

Empathy - great that you feel that way, but not enough to sustain a relationship on...