warehouseWorker
New Here
I'll get straight to the point. In hindsight, my life feels mostly like a series of traumatic events, and my brain just doesn't know how to make sense of it all. I am always on edge, confused etc..., however my depression is more cyclical as it comes and goes. I am autistic, but not sure if that's relevant.
Here's my story: When I was five, me and my stepsister (14 at the time) were raped on repeated occasions by my father and his friends. This lasted until I was seven. My mom didn't know, although my father was abusive to her aswell. Eventually, my mother decided to move away with me to a different country.
I thought I was finally free, but things still turned bad. My mom was dating a violent criminal at the time, and on top of that I was bullied daily in a school where I hardly spoke the language. My mother also worked nights and slept during the day, so I barely saw her. Eventually, I just stopped going to school alltogether.
When I was ten, I found out that my stepsister (who was left behind) had taken her own life. To this day, I think about the fact that if I had only alerted the authorities, or spoken up about what had happened, she might have been saved, but I was too much of a coward to even speak out.
This might be a somewhat abrupt way to end this post, as I don't fully know where I'm going with it, other than the fact that I'm looking for some input to perhaps help me put some things into perspective. It might be worth mentioning that some things that have helped me (and some of these you may find odd): Lifting weights, reading Albert Camus, videogames (especially Hollow Knight and Dark Souls). I also have an obsession with work. I work at a warehouse that sells lumber, and nothing gets my mind off things better than physical labor.
Here's my story: When I was five, me and my stepsister (14 at the time) were raped on repeated occasions by my father and his friends. This lasted until I was seven. My mom didn't know, although my father was abusive to her aswell. Eventually, my mother decided to move away with me to a different country.
I thought I was finally free, but things still turned bad. My mom was dating a violent criminal at the time, and on top of that I was bullied daily in a school where I hardly spoke the language. My mother also worked nights and slept during the day, so I barely saw her. Eventually, I just stopped going to school alltogether.
When I was ten, I found out that my stepsister (who was left behind) had taken her own life. To this day, I think about the fact that if I had only alerted the authorities, or spoken up about what had happened, she might have been saved, but I was too much of a coward to even speak out.
This might be a somewhat abrupt way to end this post, as I don't fully know where I'm going with it, other than the fact that I'm looking for some input to perhaps help me put some things into perspective. It might be worth mentioning that some things that have helped me (and some of these you may find odd): Lifting weights, reading Albert Camus, videogames (especially Hollow Knight and Dark Souls). I also have an obsession with work. I work at a warehouse that sells lumber, and nothing gets my mind off things better than physical labor.
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