Sufferer Will My Mental Clarity Ever Return?

[stillnotright]

"Nervous breakdown" last August, immediately followed by PTSD diagnosis. CBT w/therapist and Psychiatrist care w/work restriction, zoloft caused GI issues so they switched me to prozac. Also on propranolol.

Fired during a panic attach (first & only on the job, caused by bully boss) end of November.

My former employer is fighting my unemployment claim after 5 years of dedicated service, she is not returning the forms necessary to get medicaid for my family and I have been told food stampls could take an additional 30 days.

The day after I lost my job, I hit the ground running putting in resumes & working my sphere of influence to get a new job. Problem is, I am under so much stress between the PTSD, Drs, job loss, financial concerns, holidays, etc. that I do not interview well with my limited concentration from the PTSD/Prozac brain and therefore cannot get a job.

I discussed eliminating the Prozac with my psych Dr since I was literally medicated in order to stay at job and to deal with bully boss, now I'm unemployed. I have dropped from 3 tablets to 2 tablets to 1 tablet daily, with a week between dosage changes per Dr instructions.

I get crying spells out of nowhere, debillitating hopelessness, paranoia when alone of course (couldn't tell you the last time i was alone, husband usually laid off lately) and don't know if it's the Prozac, change in dosage of Prozac, temporary PTSD brain damage or permanent.

If anyone has had a similar problem, please shed some light. If it will get better in a month, a year, 5 years - whatever I just need to know.

I do brain games and tetris and soduku (sp?) trying to keep sharp but I'm like a shadow of my former self and feel like I have alzheimer's.

<Edited for readability by Amethist>

 

[stillnotright]

Hi, I'm new to blogging so I get the editing & grammar rules but you guys could give me a hand with my fog-headed typos if you are going to be so kind as to fix my punctuation & capitalization! :O_o:

 

[anthony]

Welcome to the forum SNR. I also do brain games, reading, etc... to keep my brain functioning, otherwise I feel it gets lazy and forgetful, etc... like back when I was dealing with completely uncontrolled PTSD.

 

[markymark]

On your last sentence if you really had mid to advanced stage Alzheimer's you probably would not know you had it. Seriously though, I was recently put through some memory tests.

My results are that my immediate and long term memory is decent, but short term memory has severe deficiencies. I don't know why that is but my therapist suggests because I have intense disassociation bouts that is the cause. I think it's the zoloft, wellbutrin, and lopressor they have me on that makes me that way as well.

However, just recently being put on medication has helped concentrate for more than 10 seconds. So my conflict is I need the drugs so I can somewhat concentrate to evaluate or complete a task, but I often forget what I'm doing before can even complete a task ( if that makes any sense).

The duration pf your medication is only useful to the point above that place where you can't function. I hate taking this medication as well, but I has helped me to a point where the family likes me, now.

Only you can choose how long you need the medication and not the other way around. Never give up.

 

[Abrasky]

Sorry you have this short term memory problem.

I have it too, my husband tells me something like close the door if he is doing something, and I forget it 2 seconds later and don't close the door on my way out.

It does feel like alhzeimers. I'm afraid mine just got worse and worse worst the last 3 years of 13 years of councelling from PTSD, but then I am hoping it will improve one day soon. I don't take antideppressants any more.

I wonder why it happens.

It get around it by compensating for it by having multiple alarms ect.

 

[markymark]

Happy to hear your off the meds. I'm looking forward to the day where I can get off mine. Lots of side affects, but the beat side effect is my family is getting closer and closer to me.

I'm like you. Finding ways to deal with memory loss so I can function. But, I am aware of cases of continued intense stress that has caused certain dementias.

 

[Srain]

I went through extreme meltdown as well and have had very short term memory losses as well as long term memory losses. I have had the same concerns if this will ever get better but over the past year or so of really digging in with therapy and relying less on medications (though, let me clarify I still use them) I can see it is more a matter of dealing with my symptoms as opposed to chasing my traumas, if that makes sense.

I can see periods of time looking back last year when I was spending quite a bit of time in my "safe room" while dealing with my one of crying jags or emotional flooding or flashbacks. It's actually been awhile since I've done that, maybe a few months instead of several times a day. So I would say "yes" it does get better. I am not having conversations where I turn around and my husband is answering something I have no idea I had asked him about, "yes" that is getting better.

It's coming more in waves, right now I'm riding a paranoid wave but it's the holidays and I've just had a flashback. They happen, however, this year I see it and not just reacting, that's my hope anyway.

Welcome to the Forum, there is a lot of valuable information here and support. You are not alone with this.

Peace,
Rain

 

[melody]

I would agree with Srain and say "yes it does get better," but it takes time, perseverance and acceptance of this "new" you. Be nice to yourself and as you begin to understand what PTSD is (and the symptoms), you will definitely find that it gets easier.

Welcome to the forum stillnotright!

 

[markymark]

Melody is right. "a new me" is exactly how I feel. The only problem is that I'm confused on how to act since the world looks so different now. It's like coming home after 20 years: everyhing is familiar but seems new.

Every day is a struggle for me, but now also a new adventure.

 

[stillnotright]

I appreciate all of your responses and the support from those who have been there. this is exactly why I decided to reach out and post, which is totally against my nature. I spoke with my psy doc last week and again today. He still does not feel the memory issues are caused by the prozac as the symptoms have persisted with the dose being dropped. I have also been having crying spells, for the slightest little triggers so he is sending me back up to 60mg/day with the prozac to control the PTSD. He wants to try a sleeping pill, I believe Restoril but my hubby hasn't picked it up yet. He feels the memory has been consistent and may be caused by my poor sleep. I have a heck of a time keeping my eyes open at 7:30pm now that we've turned the clocks back & it gets dark at 4:30. I wake up all night long but usually go right back to sleep. The slightest thing wakes me but not to the point where I'm in a state of panic but awake nonetheless. He said to give it a few days and call if we don;t see an improvement. I figure with the holidays approaching and my being off work might as well give it a shot. He actually thought I was already perscribed the sleeping pills but this was not the case. Everyone wish me luck, I am hoping for the best.

Peace to all this holiday season.

 

[melody]

Good luck with the new meds stillnotright and Peace to you as well. :)