Will You Do Something New(-ish) Today?

[fin]

LOL... ok... the place is kind of ...well its not as bad as it was. I'll just say that.

its 1.15 am here....today I accepted a friendship request

I tried to post up a photo for my thingy-identity-thing...next to my name...I cant rememebr what its called. well i figured out how to do it...and then realised-I think, why it wont...its bitmap rather than jpeg. Of course I could be wrong...and I have absolutely no idea how to change it...but its nice to think I know why.

apart from my ex I havent seen anyone in 4 days-i think 4 anyway. Am a little nervous about tomorrow -I havent seen my friend since before christmas (but we have gone longer).

I kind of had a lovely day...and Im not going to knock it for anything I didnt do.
being kind thing...really wish there was something more...really wish there was something....I dont know how to phrase this so I will stop.
when you just want to reach out over the net and say...really say...it will pass.

Oh Boy...this song just came on tv....in the background.
"5 years time"-noah and the whale
its just fun and uplifting and got a little bounce to it....its on youtube if anyone is interested.

peace
~fin

 

[Leda]

My trip to the "big city" went well - but I felt the tension build up, and yesterday my shoulders really hurt. Now I shall do some laundry and pack for a weeks vacation in Madeira. Another step out of my comfort zone.

Irton Pike: I´ve got chickens too. Five sweet miniatures who gives me miniature eggs almost every day. It really is a nice hobby.

 

[fin]

I understand the muscular pain in the shoulders...I get that a lotand I feel it there sometimes more than anywhere else oh and my hands. (apart from myright hand which was broken quite badly and then its the cold or the wet).

Yay you Leda I am so glad that you went to the city...that is so good. You are taking great steps in moving out of your comfort zone...and Madeira sounds cool.
and the chickens, that sounds fun the five sweet miniatures. I used to look after chickens and ducks for an old friend of mine, my son loved it and the eggs you get...when they went on holiday I would house-sit and they used to have people leave boxes for eggs....my son thought it was so cool, and he would be the one that went down to fetch them. I had no idea about miniature chickens...do you live in a town Leda?

 

[Leda]

I live in a small town, but I have a relatively big garden. And miniature hens does not require much space - they live in a part of our garage when they´re not outdoors.

 

[fin]

hey Leda....what was the theatre thingy like the other night?
I say thingy because I googled it and it sounded like Tor Ulven was a poet, I found something on you tube but it was obviously not in english...but someone had written what they said was an english translation..I was curious because I was interested in reading more.

cool on the chickens...that was the same situation my friend had-big garden...lovely chickens though....my son looked on it as a hoiday
~fin

 

[Leda]

Hey Fin

The "the theatre thingy" was quite spesial. Tor Ulven was a poet and the play was made up of fragments of all his works. A lot of weight was on the absurdity of life and the inevitability of death - but with an undercurrent of dark humour.

My friend and I did like it. But it was a performanse that takes time to sink in. And I hav to look up more of his poetry some day.

 

[Leda]

Oh - forgor to say that I´ve added som pictures of my chickens in an album here.

 

[fin]

Hey Leda I looked in on your photos...cute chickens and cats. Thankyou for pointing me that way.

So today...my friend was coming over (hold your breath) .............we went out, coffee and supplies (food). I had my first espresso in ....well a long time. LOL and then ....then I went round a supermarket (I cant remember the last time I said that word S u p ermarket (yeah you get what I was doing there).

Thats right folks, espresso coffee + a big building with lots of people all crowded (kind of) together getting their shopping...What was I thinking?

fun fun fun!

...I miss just going to the market, saying hi...looking around... buying vegetables...and then...(trying to paint a picture here)...a coffee, read the paper...you get the idea ...yes?

NO NOT FOR ME THAT NO....I WENT FOR AS MUCH CAFFEINE AS POSSIBLE (in basically as short an amount of time possible), LOADS OF MOODY PEOPLE IN AN AIRLESS ARTIFICIALLY LIT BUILDING AND my friends moody son- (no I live him dearly it was just he was well just plain mean today)...I dont know what happened, actually I do HE had to go shopping with us- poor kid.

bRb

 

[fin]

So I was mid-ramble there? yup I soo was.

My babe called today...I dont suppose I can call him that anymore, well not in front of his friends anyhow....Actually for a long time now, he would have so had a little blue fit at me if I had done it just a couple of years back even.
LOL although I am apparently soo the coolest mom. LOL or used to be. I dont really know what it was I did to get that title, but hey...it beats a lot of things I have been called.

so my son and his squeeze came back today- for little ol' me, and it was just lovely. Really, really lovely and a great surprise, and thats all Im going to say as I can feel the tears coming and I may well get all mushy and NOBODY really wants that, no believe me...nobody really honestly.. nope...not going to happen.
ok pass me the tissues...look you see what you guys do to me?

they're back at Uni now...and NO i really dont call my son's girlfriend his squeeze, but I might....

and tomorrow...well today actually...now...YIKES...its my birthday. whoop whoop me! yayyyy.

So my new-ish thing for today...is trying on a whole new year and seeing how it feels. It'll be cool I have tried some other years, some were ok and some not so hot...I am thinking this one'll be great. Because I cant trade it in for 364 more days. Warranty expired or something. te he he-

~fin

 

[morgan]

Happy Birthday fin! Hope you have a great one! Take care... Morgan

 

[fin]

awww thankyou morgan...

Today I was going to re-visit somewhere that somthing happened to me but the person who was going to come with me didn't show. I had gone through a bit of a bad night last night trying to prepare and stuff and then ...
So after the anxiety and panic and crap that came up before and after....
And this week I have been very busy trying to find another psych. ...So I did kind of crash.

BUT I did get to the corner shop and buy a paper with all the stuff from yesterdays Inauguration...haven't read it yet...but hey.....
So going to the corner and it really is at the corner and sooo close to my home..but I did it YAY me...
So I did something kind of new-ish ...because I sooo wanted to get to that road...I did have this moment when I thought just do it...just go ...and then I thought about all the things I would have to get through to try to get there...And realised that maybe going to the scene of one of my trauma's without any kind safety net was maybe really stupid.

I found it hard to be kind to myself after but I did try...and at the moment I am trying not to go down the "I should have just done it" spiral.
And Im trying real hard..so thats good

~fin

 

[fin]

Today I got an avatar and tried to make one also... am just trying to do light fluffy stuff. just need to keep going and me doing something...is better than me doing nothing. I am not going to beat myself up that I havent done more.
If you knew me, you would know that me trying to do the avatar thing was a major achievement.
yay