Work Advice Pertaining To Leadership

[Photovoltaica]

This is partly a success story and also a cry for help. My first time on this board - I just needed an outlet. Thank you, Google.

So all throughout my battle with recovery, the longest I was ever able to keep a job was 11 months, and that job didn't deal with people very often. I'm a 25-year-old woman and I was completely stoked that the job I have now seemed to be "the one." I could function at work, for once I was doing GREAT, and people praised my work. However, this past month I've been placed in a position of authority... a position I've never been in. Right now, I'm leading 4 guys on a roof while we install solar panels as the "eyes and ears" of our crew lead who's doing the inverter work on the ground. My job is to keep work flowing and make sure one of the many details don't get messed up on a customer's roof. I have never gotten a raise or promotion before this job, and all of a sudden, I seem to be struggling big time with my PTSD. After some therapy, I mostly had things under control except for some occasional maintenance and I haven't felt the need to go back to therapy for about 3 years now.

My question for those of you with PTSD who are also in a leadership position: How do you do it when you're having a PTSD "flareup"?? Today was so bad I fought back tears all day, kept forgetting to do things and had to go back and fix it, and my coworkers even noticed something was wrong. I'm scared to tell my lead because most of us know we usually end up getting fired. I'm going to go back to group therapy for some "maintenance" but I would appreciate advice from PTSD survivors who are also stuck trying to lead people at the same time. Am I just being a girl and need to just buck up while I'm at work?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm disturbed by your "just being a girl" comment. (I've heard a lot like that lately...?) Is it a common experience for women to feel inferior? I'm thinking it is, as again, that sentiment keeps resurfacing...

I think anyone can comment, leadership position or no, and say it sounds like a ptsd flare up.

 

[franciemarnie]

Tears are stress hormones coming out. It is good to get rid of them.

According to Simone de Beauvoir, as I recall reading years ago, there are more of the hormone that leads to the production of tears in women than men. Men theoretically would cry just as much with the same stress as women if they had the same chemistry.

That said, it makes all the sense in the world that you have greater stress now than previously with your management position and having a job you like. You just have to come up with ways of dealing with it. Working out helps me a lot although I know that triggers some due to accelerated heart beat.

What has worked for you in the past? I would try and be mindfully conscious of your being all thru the day. If you can step away periodically, do that to avoid a big build up.

And if you do cry, big deal. You can still work well just the same. It's human. Bosses cry.

You never have to tell anyone including your boss that you have PTSD.

I had my first supervising job when I was in my 20's. It can be overwhelming initially. It was for me, but you can do this.