Working on Trauma During an Anniversary

[Kubash16]

My T and I agreed to table talk of my biggest trauma this month since this is the anniversary month and I’m afraid it will be too much too fast especially since nightmares have already started and I’m typically extremely suicidal right now, and very much am.

But I’m second guessing asking for that. Am I missing a good opportunity to really get into the emotions of it while they are sooo charged?

 

[ChildofGod]

Hello Kubash. I don't know the answer to that. But I was thinking of myself or others could make fresh anniversary to start fresh. That way, it may not be as scary and you may or may not feel or get something positive about it, but I don't know for sure.
I am sorry this is a very difficult time for you. I am sorry that you are hurting so much.

I hope that you feel better soon and possibly get help if that's something you need or want.

This is the RAINN website. You can call or chat online for free, 24/7. There usually is a waiting period, for the chat.

What Can We Help You With? | RAINN

This is the Suicide Prevention website.

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[Kubash16]

I do use the chat option sometimes because I don’t want to bug my T about it. Even though that’s kinda what she’s there for ?. Originally I had planned to take a solo vacation to my dad’s favorite spot with my sister and start a better memory of the day. However, I lost my job and can’t afford to do that any longer. So I’ve got to brainstorm something else or just grin and bear it.

 

[Freida]

Baby steps. Heather is good at what she does - she will know how far to push you. But you have to be honest with her. No trying to tough it out. Tell her how you are doing and be honest. If it becomes to much she can put the trauma on the back burner and work on your grounding skills instead

 

[Kubash16]

We did work on a little trauma today. We talked about the first few full on times with dickhead and the times with the other guys. I feel okay so far, no fallout from that yet. So I’m thinking maybe I’m more steady? Enough to handle it? I really don’t know. But I think focusing on Dan during this time is just a distraction from the real shit. Which is kind of backwards cause I’m thinking most people would consider the traumas to be opposite. That Dan is worse than dad. But he’s easier to talk about. Right now my homework is to write a letter to the anonymous guys. We will work on letters to dad and Dan later. But the guys I can do for sure. I just want to skip this month altogether. We are getting a bad storm right now that’s similar to that day and ugh.

I dunno, anyway, did hard work, no fall out yet but don’t feel like working on school work either. Just want to lay around and watch paranormal YouTube videos. But that accomplishes nothing.

 

[Chris-duck]

Just want to lay around and watch paranormal YouTube videos. But that accomplishes nothing.

Sorry I don't have advice on the trauma talk during anniversary thing but pretty sure breaks are okay. You're right that YouTube doesn't accomplish much if that's all you ever do. But breaks earn unicorns around here :P

 

[Kubash16]

If I compromise that I’ve done enough work for today that I’ve earned some videos and will get school work done tomorrow could I get a unicorn? Lol I’m starting to feel pretty drained tonight.

 

[Chris-duck]

If I compromise that I’ve done enough work for today that I’ve earned some videos and will get school work done tomorrow could I get a unicorn?

Have two. One for doing work ? and one for taking a break ? ?

 

[Kubash16]

Lol thanks

 

[sunshinedaydream]

I do not know the answer, but can I offer a unicorn too even if I don’t really know about that yet? ?

 

[Kubash16]

I do not know the answer, but can I offer a unicorn too even if I don’t really know about that yet? ?

Lol thank you. It’s not really a forum driven thing but there’s a lot of us who give out the unicorn emoji to each other when we do anything self care-ish. You are more than welcome to jump on board with it!

 

[sunshinedaydream]

give out the unicorn emoji to each other when we do anything self care-ish. You are more than welcome to jump on board with it!

I love that! ? ??