Worrying About What Old T Told New T

[mrsps]

A couple of months ago my old T dropped me but set me up with a new T to see. She wanted to make sure the new T she set me up with would be a good fit for me. Which I am very happy to say that my new T is fantastic and I am actually glad my old T dropped me because this new one I feel is a better fit for me.
My concern is that these T's know each other (I don't know how well I just know that they are kind of work colleagues, both work from home) and I wonder when/if they see each other if they talk about me. Like I know that what I say should be confidential etc but I do wonder about this.
Also before I saw my new T, my old T contacted her to tell her a bit about me (I had not been made aware of this before it happened) I asked my new T when I started what she had been told and she told me a bit of stuff. My problem is that I wonder what else she was told that maybe she didn't tell me. This really bothers me as at times I know I didn't make life easy for my old T but I want a fresh start with my new T and am a different person to what I was like before as I have grown.
I cant stop thinking about this and worrying about it but don't really want to bring it back up with my T. Maybe she did tell me everything she was told maybe she with held some info, I don't know! Argh!!!

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi mrsps,

Please don't worry...

I've had to transition to new therapists, and they've always been very kind, welcoming and helpful.
Your previous therapist, if she even mentioned the bumps-in-the-road in your past therapy history would then have told your new T how much you have changed.

If your new T didn't like what she heard, she wouldn't have accepted you.

Please banish the worry; and I hope you have an incredibly wonderful, healing, life-transforming connection with your new therapist.

 

[GWhizz]

I'd just ask her! It's your right to know.

But I can imagine the conversation was very general and that she felt you'd be a good fit based on your new T's experience/style. I doubt they meet up to talk about you and if they were to, it would be nothing more than 'things are going well'. I don't think people in this line of work feel the need to discuss details outside of work. They usually have supervisors (their own therapists) for this purpose.

 

[Changing4Best]

I moved to a place that is about 600 miles from where my old therapist is, so I had to go to a new therapist. My old therapist told me that she would not mention much about my past that I had left behind, but would focus on my more present situation when she passed my info on. Maybe this is standard and what most therapists do when one changes therapists for whatever reason.

Anyway, I'm sure that your old one would only pass along those things about you which would be helpful for your new one to know, in order to treat you in the best way possible and for your most benefit. I doubt that such things as your previous behavior in session would come up. Even if they did, your new one would just take them in stride and still do what is best for your case.

So, please don't concern yourself with what was passed on. All of it is passed on with your best interests in mind, I'm sure.

 

[GWhizz]

You know I keep asking my new T to just contact my old one to get a basic low-down on my history as I'm afraid of it overwhelming her and being dropped as I felt was kind of the case with my last T, because it turned out she wasn't the right fit for me and my issues. But my new T won't because she wants me to be able to tell her myself when I'm ready and doesn't want me to disclose when I'm not ready. Even though, like you, I feel I was quite immature and let myself down with my last T. But here I am consenting for her to speak with my last T about anything or everything she needs to know and she's declining. One thing that always resonates with me in therapy is that the therapist always lets me know that it's okay not to be ready to talk, they don't mind if we don't tell them everything. For me, that tells me they're not there because they enjoy learning about our deepest darkest. They only wish to know if they believe it best serves us. Their listening is completely selfless imo.

I think it's fair to say, you're new T won't judge you. She certainly will get her own impression of you though but only what you present now. She won't be looking back at your old T's perception.

 

[WillyKat]

I'm not entirely sure, but it's not necessarily automatic that information is passed along like that. The last time I signed up with a psychologist, I had to sign off on the idea that she might contact my old shrink. In other words, I had to give explicit permission to share information. There's also permission for your shrink to speak to colleagues about your case, without mentioning your name. They may seek each other's advice on occasion.