Relationship Worst Thing Ever Said To A Loved One.

[Sarah_1990]

This goes out to the sufferers out there.

Just curious. What were some of the worst things you said to the person you loved or what was the most extreme things you have done to push them away? Did you go back to them? After how long? Did they stick around?

I appreciate anyones imput and I thank you for sharing.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I still push away people by just ignoring them until they give up and leave me alone. I think the worst thing I ever did was call my mother who suffers from severe depression 'lazy'. I was young and didn't understand mental illness very well, but I'll never forget the look on her face when she slapped me. One of the few times I think I deserved it.

 

[Sarah_1990]

Do you really want them to leave you alone? Have you done this to someone you were in love with?

 

[p-no]

Many have done it to someone they were in love with. Have a look at the supporters' section. I am sorry, but I don't think there are any other answers that were already answered there. Each person is different, too. What PTSD sufferers have in common is their PTSD. That though is different for each one, so is the level of healing, the extent of the symptoms, etc. They also have their own personalities, their own quirks, etc.

To be honest, if I am told I am not loved by someone, I leave. Because I take them seriously and because I'd be hurt. A person who hurts me in that way, although he doesn't have to, but chooses to, I do not want to have in my life. I also think, taking that person seriously also makes them realise that what they say, what they express in words is important! That it is indeed taken seriously and that there are people who take them seriously.

If a person walks away after being told that they are not loved and that the other wishes they leave, the person who has expressed that wish for them to leave can approach them again later, if they really wanted to. But the ball then, IMO, is in their court, not in mine anymore.

I am sorry you are suffering.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am a sufferer.

I left my husband 2 years after being married. I packed all my stuff and moved to a different state. When we reconciled and I moved back I realized to appreciate the lovely man I had married and have never done anything like it since not even for a few hours. It was a eye opening experience for me and it took a lot of strength from both of us.

However, it was a team effort. We both decided, both made choices and both laid out boundaries. It was not one sided. Neither one of us was begging the other. We were and are both equal in the choice we made to be together. It has not changed since then. I wanted to get better and have a future with him and he wanted me in his life.

I know that if I ever treated him and he ever treated me like that again we would not be together. We both laid out boundaries and we both trust each other.

And like Prime-no said everyone is different. PTSD plays a part in my life but is not the ONLY thing in my life.

Just my 2 cents.

Wishing you the best,

Ayesha

 

[Loveneverfails]

Have you done this to someone you were in love with?

Yes. I tend to push the people I love away the very most. I don't want them to see me at my most vulnerable and flawed. Times when I can't hide how messed up it really is in my brain are the times I want support and love the least.

 

[Sarah_1990]

This is all very compelling. Thank you. Have you ever gone as far as telling that person you were not in love with them anymore?

 

[Loveneverfails]

Yes, I have. But I think the thing a supporter needs to do for their own health and heart is to not allow this more than once. Sometimes situations get heated and hurtful things get said, but absolutely no one should be allowed to say that to someone repeatedly. No one deserves that kind of hurt, there's no excuse for it.

 

[Sarah_1990]

I agree with you. My sufferer has told me this week that he is not in love with me anymore. I know right now he cannot handle a relationship and I will just act as a friend for now because I do not want to give up on him. He is too important to me. I also know how important it is to just live my own life as well, and I am doing the best I can at the moment. I just know that he is really trying to push me away and I understand as much as I possibly can. I just feel a little hopeless right now. I do not want to lose him forever.... and it almost feels like I have.

 

[Loveneverfails]

My heart goes out to you and him both. PTSD relationships are so difficult. It sounds like you're doing everything you can for you and him both and I'm glad for that. Continue treating yourself with the same respect and love you show him. You deserve it. I wish you the best of luck, no matter how it turns out.

 

[Sarah_1990]

Thank you. I really hope this goes to my favor. I accept him for EVERYTHING that he is. I embrace his PTSD as a part of who he is, and I would never bring him down because of it. I love him to the ends of the earth and more. I will do anything I can to get him back, while keeping myself positive and healthy. (Although it is very very difficult some days.) I just feel like I have lost him forever right now. I do not know if he truly does not love me anymore. But I have a feeling it is not true because he did not start being so harsh to me and pushing until after he saw me last weekend. There was something there. And I honestly think it scared him in some way...

 

[WishfulThinking]

Sarah,
I am so sorry you are going through this! I do not have PTSD, but my husband does. Lately he has been saying such hurtful things. I am very sensitive. In the past relationships, I have been with guys that treated me like a queen. That is how ours started, but now he is soooo mean. Really. He doesnt realize it. He told me the other day that he smokes weed and plays video games to escape me. That hurt so much. All I wanted was to spend time with him. He doesnt work, so he is up all night playing video games. I am exhausted from taking care of him, the house, work, and going to school. He doesnt even help me aroud the house. He says that cleaning up after dinner counts. But I am the one that does all the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. I am so beat. I feel like he is taking me for granted. I am his wife, and I am struggling with being the wife that stood by his side through thick and thin, or walking away. I am a fighter and do not give up, but I am hurting so much and he has no clue.