Hello all, brand spanking new to the forum. Go easy on my guys, this is kind of out of my comfort zone I guess. But I gotta try something new, because how I thought I could cope aint working since my life seems to have turned to S***.
Like so many others, I got a lot of crap running through my head, One prevailing question is does it get any easier. Im not expecting it to be gone totally....just better dam it! For me it just gets worse. It like a self feeding problem, problems seem to make more problems and so on. As my life (and family) fall apart a little more each day it adds to stress, that stress makes PTSD worse, and that in turn makes depression worse, and the cycle repeates.
I have read COUTLESS websites, books that all say it gets better, but when? I've struggled with this for over 16 year. Starting in the Corps...and after I got out went into civilian law enforcement that had it own share of yet more "traumas". On of the biggest was I was one of the countless police officers that was first one scene at the Pentagon on 9/11. And worked that rescue and eventually the recovery for weeks after.
Im just tired both mentally and physically since I haven't had a good sleep in hell 10 years or so.. For the last 1 1/5 I have a hell of a time falling asleep and when I do only sleep AT MOST 2 hours at a time... I mean you could almost set a clock by it.
Well that's me, everyone....try not to flame me if I say something stupid, And like most I'm sure, have a very "Dark" sense of humor....at least that's what people who have never served or been in something as a first responder profession say.
Like so many others, I got a lot of crap running through my head, One prevailing question is does it get any easier. Im not expecting it to be gone totally....just better dam it! For me it just gets worse. It like a self feeding problem, problems seem to make more problems and so on. As my life (and family) fall apart a little more each day it adds to stress, that stress makes PTSD worse, and that in turn makes depression worse, and the cycle repeates.
I have read COUTLESS websites, books that all say it gets better, but when? I've struggled with this for over 16 year. Starting in the Corps...and after I got out went into civilian law enforcement that had it own share of yet more "traumas". On of the biggest was I was one of the countless police officers that was first one scene at the Pentagon on 9/11. And worked that rescue and eventually the recovery for weeks after.
Im just tired both mentally and physically since I haven't had a good sleep in hell 10 years or so.. For the last 1 1/5 I have a hell of a time falling asleep and when I do only sleep AT MOST 2 hours at a time... I mean you could almost set a clock by it.
Well that's me, everyone....try not to flame me if I say something stupid, And like most I'm sure, have a very "Dark" sense of humor....at least that's what people who have never served or been in something as a first responder profession say.
