Yikes - i have an appointment at a sleep disorders centre!

[barefoot]

So, my appointment has finally almost arrived - it's tomorrow and I am (probably quite predictably) slightly losing my shit about it today!

I did speak to my T about it a few weeks ago and she was supportive and encouraging of me going. She thought it was important that I mentioned anxiety/PTSD but that I should also be mindful about my boundaries in terms of how much content I really want to share. She suggested a couple of things I could say, which sounded good - brief, nothing about trauma content/context but clear that trauma-related anxiety was a possibly very significant context to the sleep stuff. And then I forgot it all the moment I left her room and I hadn't written any of it down!

I meant to ask her about it again and write it down when I saw her this week but then got caught up talking about other stuff - plus, I feel a bit of an idiot that we spent a session on this already and she gave me good ideas and then I completely forgot everything she said.

I'm tempted to email her and ask if she can ping me a suggested sentence. But I know she will be busy with clients all day and I'm not really giving her much chance to be able to respond before my appointment tomorrow morning. And I don't want to then be in a position tomorrow where I haven't received a response from her. And I feel cheeky asking her anyway seeing as I only saw her two days ago so I should have asked her then instead of asking her to email me on her own time.

So....any ideas about what I can say? Just a sentence or two to introduce the anxiety/trauma/ptsd context without a) getting into too much detail b) dysregulating myself and c) making them wonder why I am even there because my sleep stuff is clearly "just anxiety" (yes - this unhelpful thought it still very strong!)

I know this must be a very simple, obvious thing....I am just drawing a total blank and hearing loads of white noise in my head whenever I try to sit with it and think about it. If I can get my head around this and perhaps write something brief and simple down to take in with me in case I go blank when I am in there, I think that will really help my current anxiety levels.

Thanks in advance for any help with this!

 

[Freida]

I have ptsd and being in a place where people are this close to me, or are waking me up at night, makes me uncomfortable. I'm happy to be here doing this test but I'm hoping you can work with me to make it easier.. ??

Or -

I have ptsd and I think that's why i don't sleep well -- what do you suggest to make me more comfortable during the test?

???

 

[barefoot]

Thanks @Freida. I’m not actually going on for a sleep observation, it’s just an initial consultation ie a chat. I hope I won’t have to go in for an overnight sleep observation test but will cross that bridge as and when it comes up (which it may not - hopefully!)

You’re right though - perhaps I do need to just say “I have PTSD so I’m not sure whether that is related to my sleep problems” and he can then take it from there?

It does sound quite obvious now - I just haven’t been able to think whenever I’ve tried to focus on how to say this! Thanks for thinking it through with me.

 

[Freida]

of course! andIm right there with you - my brain goes into vapor lock whenever I have to talk about (admit) the whole ptsd thing. Here's hoping it makes it easier because it gives them a specific starting place. And I'm not sure if I've blathered on about this - but i was in a sleep program that helped so very much I can't believe it. It was a 6 month program - 3 months of computer tracking of my sleep habits and 3 months working with a psychologist who "retrained my brain to sleep"
Who knew that you could forget how to sleep. You might ask about that...??

 

[Esterio]

You’re right though - perhaps I do need to just say “I have PTSD so I’m not sure whether that is related to my sleep problems” and he can then take it from there?

It does sound quite obvious now -

Hi barefoot
I think you have it there that lets them know with out having to talk about any events of your trauma.
Good luck. I hope you find some answers.

 

[scout86]

I don't think there's anything wrong with sending your T an email too. If she gets a chance to answer, great. If she doesn't, you're already working on this for yourself. (I do the same thing, with forgetting what we talked about. My T knows it and hasn't got a problem when I need him to fill in the gaps.)

Good luck with this, I'll have you in my thoughts!

 

[barefoot]

Thanks all - appreciate your thoughts and words of encouragement.

@scout86 - I didn’t message T but think you’re right and maybe I should have just pinged her and shouldn’t have over-thought it! Anyway...it’s evening here now so I don’t think I can interrupt her after the working day. I think that really would be cheeky!

 

[scout86]

so I don’t think I can interrupt her after the working day. I think that really would be cheeky!

You'd know best about that. My T has sent replies to emails at some really weird times.

Be sure to let us know how things go, ok?

 

[barefoot]

@scout86 I spoke to my partner about this over dinner last night and she encouraged me to email T. So I did - but I told myself that it was late and didn’t leave much time for her to reply before my appointment this morning, so if she didn’t reply, I wasn’t to over-analyse that or get upset with her.

Anyway - she sent a really kind, helpful, thorough reply at 11.30pm! And she even said to call her this morning before the appointment if I want to, which I wasn’t expecting at all. Think I am ok not calling though, but I really appreciate her offer.

So, T really came through on this and I felt more reassured and less anxious going to bed last night knowing I can get her email out and read from that if I go blank in the consultation today.

Thanks again, all - I’ll report back!

 

[scout86]

knowing I can get her email out and read from that if I go blank in the consultation today.

I've got a couple from my T that I keep where I can find them, just for general moral support and encouragement. I hope the day goes well!

 

[barefoot]

An update:

Appointment yesterday went ok. Dr was pleasant and the consultation wasn’t too taxing.

I have to go back to do an overnight sleep study, probably in Feb. This is something I was hoping I wasn’t going to have to do but...I’ve got a while to try to get more comfortable with the idea. The overnight sleep study isn’t to assess my parasomnias, it’s purely to monitor my breathing, so that feels a little better.

Following that - and assuming the sleep study doesn’t show up anything physical eg respiratory that will require treatment - he thinks we have a few options, starting with taking melatonin (which needs a prescription here in the UK) and doing a CBT sleep quality course. If all else fails, he said I could try a very low dose of clonazopam. Not massively keen on the idea of taking an anti-depressant, but the dose he said was tiny, so it could be an option...but there are other things to try first anyway.

So...I’m glad to get that first step out of the way and think it was worth going.

 

[Freida]

yeah!!!

doing a CBT sleep quality course.

This is what I did and it was amazing. I still have insomnia, but it doesn't seem to matter as much anymore so I'm out of that "cant sleep because I can't sleep" cycle.