Yikes.

[heidi]

I definitely don't think they'd find it offensive, but I looked and I guess there are rules:

This forum is for combat veterans only, not that you served in the military and have PTSD, but you physically deployed to a combat zone itself and were either land or sea based (in direct naval or air support), and you have PTSD as a direct result of your combat service.

 

[JustBe]

Privateer, we are happy to have you here. keep looking at the different threads and I'm sure you'll find the support and information to help you begin to heal. At least that's how I feel. When I first started reading some of the diaries I felt that I didn't deserve to be here because I hadn't been through some of the horrific things that others had. However I have been welcomed warmly and now feel like I belong. Give yourself a chance. JMHO.

 

[Privateer]

Thanks for that. I have, as you've no doubt noticed, fairly severe doubts about my own worth and don't want to ruin this place for everyone else.

Heidi: I came out of the Army fairly depressed about my career being cut short by injury, but no PTSD as far as I'm aware.

 

[heidi]

Sorry for my bunk suggestion. I was thinking the military has search and rescue and you have so much in common with the people on that site though you didn't specifically develop yours while being deployed. I just thought it might be nice for you to be able to relate both ways but now I feel bad it's not an option.

Maybe just reading over there would be helpful for you?

 

[Privateer]

Hey, don't worry about it at all! Thanks for trying to help me. It's appreciated.

I might pop over and have a read.

 

[Privateer]

Okay. Um. Double posting, I know, but I don't want to spread my garbage too widely around the forum.

I think I'm having a weird kind of George Bailey moment- you know like 'It's A Wonderful Life'?- but if George Bailey were a complete git who'd never actually done anything that somebody else couldn't have done just as easily.

I'm sorry you lot have to put up with my presence, you know. I just don't know what to do.

 

[NarcSis]

Privateer, you are repeatedly sorry for feeling the way you feel - not to point it out or anything but it's okay, we've all been there, feeling the exact same fears, the exact same inadequacies.

I know how hard it is to stop thinking you are 'bothering' other people by sharing your fears and dismissing how you feel....been there. Dealt with the inexplicable waves of unexpected emotion, know how frightening it was. You'll learn to deal with it in time, the hardest part is relaxing, letting it be what it is (a transient wave of emotion) and allowing yourself to not be afraid/ashamed of how you feel.

You're doing fine. You are perfectly fine, it may not feel that way but you are. Keep sharing, keep facing up to it. Our shoulders are here to be leaned on, don't feel guilty because you need to.

 

[p-no]

There is a huge difference between feeling and being, Privateer. They don't always match! What I mean is, you may feel not loved by someone but actually be loved by the person. They may tell you but you may not believe them because of the way you feel. It may still be true though.

Same here. You are welcome here and your posts are too. You have something to say, say it. This is your forum, too. :)

 

[Privateer]

I am sorry. I really don't know what else to say. I feel like I'm committing a crime by even being around to feel what I feel, let alone actually daring to tell people about it.

 

[p-no]

You feel like it but you are not actually committing a crime. And that makes all the difference!

Thank you for daring, over and over! :tup: Please keep daring!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with the others. You have a right to be here and get help and support here. I agree with what Medic and so many others have said to you.

 

[Privateer]

Thankyou. I just want...oh, it's hard to explain. I want to help other people and by telling people about my problems I feel I'm doing the opposite, you know?