Sufferer Yo, Wassup Homies?? Can I Get A Holla Back?

[SpikeBall]

Hello! So, I am a 26 year old currently teaching in South Korea. When I got here I sort of "forgot" that I had PTSD. I was triggered but didn't really know what was happening. I drank a lot. Now, I am not. I am trying to do yoga and healthy things to get better. My trigger is my new boyfriend, and I've been trying to incorporate him more closely into my life-really, my trigger is the intimacy and men, I guess, All the advice out there says to avoid your triggers, but I think that's impossible/undesirable for a lot of people. I think a lot of the advice out there is ridiculous. I can't get myself in a comfortable position (fetal), murmur self soothing phrases and touch ice until it melts every time a coworker does something to set me off. It takes a lot of searching to find good advice/answers and sometimes I have to figure them out for myself. I left the field of psychology because I felt it was such a baby science that way. I feel like we're fending for ourselves here, so I'm glad this community exists as a kind of sounding board for ideas and advice.
I am going to do Ayahuasca in Peru over winter vacation. It's a form of psychedelic therapy with a shaman in the Amazon rainforest... I figure if it'll help it's worth a shot. My boyfriend convinced me to go by using the word "cure." Everyone else has gone out of their way to reassure me there is no cure for this disorder. I have one friend though, with an unlimited amount of money and PTSD, who is dead set on getting rid of it. After doing the Ayahuasca, he plans to chase it with a round of MDMA, which I guess looks really promising as a cure.
Right now, just trying to manage the symptoms. Cutting out drinking helped a lot, but it's scary how far I've come only to know I could fall back again so easily. It's nice to be here. I am funny and desperate to be loved and worthy of your time. Holla.

 

[anthony]

Welcome to the community. I think your friend is maybe a little disillusioned by thinking about a cure versus simply treating their trauma and learning how to manage PTSD itself, but each to their own. Right? Goodluck with the Amazon trip... sounds like fun. The MDMA assisted psychotherapy is having huge results, 80%+ successfully lowering symptoms to no longer meet the diagnostic threshold. About as good as it may get I think... for a while, until they find a way to miraculously fix the neurological issue that causes PTSD / creates the effect... once they actually identify that, I mean! Even the remaining percentage with MDMA assisted psychotherapy scores remarkably improved, lowering symptom thresholds from initial scores... which atleast makes living with their PTSD that bit better for day to day life.

I say kudos to you for being brave enough to really give different things a good try. PTSD is a lot of work, and exactly what you're doing is the only way a person finds a way through it, by trying different things to find what works for them uniquely. Really well done and very positive attitude.

 

[radicalgratitude]

Welcome, Spikeball! :) Please make yourself at home!

 

[Ghostybear73]

Hi @SpikeBall and welcome to the forum. I think with exposure therapy the triggers get a little easier and lessen as time goes. With exposure therapy though, you have to expose yourself to those triggers, so I agree that complete avoidance can be unhealthy and slow the healing process for some.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I haven't heard anyone or anything say that you should avoid your triggers so I am a bit confused as to where this advice is coming from?

The standard advice in any anxiety treatment is to face your triggers as if you give in to them, the anxiety builds. Its a major reason why those with agoraphobia just get worse....they cave to the anxiety and that does nothing but reinforce the anxiety, thereby making it harder and harder to leave home. [Yes, been there, white knuckled my way through it for months and months before feeling relief.]

 

[Wounded Scribe]

@SpikeBall your energy is contagious, and I thank you, you put a smile on my face and made me laugh. Welcome to the forum, I hope to see you around, and I wish you the very best on your journey.

 

[catjudo]

The standard advice in any anxiety treatment is to face your triggers as if you give in to them, the anxiety builds. Its a major reason why those with agoraphobia just get worse..

My anxiety has been really high lately and I've been having some panic attacks. One of the places I've had panic attacks is in the grocery store. I can't exactly avoid the grocery store...I don't live in an area where I can get grocery deliveries so I have to do it if I plan on my daughter and myself eating.

My psychiatrist had two suggestions for me. The first was to take a valium before going to the grocery store. His second suggestion was that I go to the grocery store and make myself stay there for three to four hours. He said that my anxiety and panic would go up and up and up but that at some point my body would say it couldn't do that anymore and the anxiety would start to subside...then I would see that I can grocery shop without anxiety/panic. I told him I was sure I would pass out and die if I spent that long in the grocery store. He told me I might pass out but promised I wouldn't die.

I can see the wisdom and usefulness in his suggestion but don't think I'm quite ready to tackle that just yet. :bag:

 

[SpikeBall]

Thank you all for taking the time to welcome me-PTSD is a lot of work and it's nice to be part of a community, especially as someone who spends a lot of time avoiding lately. But I am actively seeking to get better. Humor is one of the best medicines as well :-)

 

[Seagreen]

Welcome to the forum. I am new too. I admire they way you have shared your opinion and ideas. All the best and I look forward to updates on how things go for you. Also a big congratulations for cutting out drinking and taking steps for a healthier lifestyle. That cant of been easy.

 

[intothelight]

@SpikeBall Welcome to the forum!

but it's scary how far I've come only to know I could fall back again so easily.

Sometimes recovery is a series of steps forward and a step back, but once you have figured out what works for you, falling back doesn't have to be as far or for as long. I hope the ideas and the support here help you continue your healing journey.