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You Know You Are Healing When...

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Today I was in a black dumpster in my mind feeling unloved and unuseful going nowwhere. Had appointment with daughter since she needs advice for future choises. Just before we were to meet I was on the help line pouring out all the shit Ive been through and how unloved I feel. Thought I cancel appointment with daughter to sit and suck on the pain I feel inside.
I didnt cancel. Sone one needs me. Some one probably loves me. I wasnt sure I could do this talk with her. Aid her in her life decision. But I did. I was grown up and present. She felt met and undrstood and cared for and we solved her issues one by one.
Ive felt lately that maybe she dont need me, maybe she has other important people in her life. But she said under our talk she do need me and so I can also hear from what she is saying and how she is sayig things- Im a positive influence in this world and I teach her to be a postive responsibel grown up with self love and integrity.

So I understand I did heal some. I manage to be responsible.

I also made dinner for her. Which is maybe not so big thing for others. For me it is. A ultimate way for me to show I care. Since i can be really childish inside and egosentric in my pain. Its a way to take care of her in all ways. Im glad I did. And with her I belive I can heal more and grow more.
 
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