You know you have complex trauma when......

[Ronin]

^ When you know what to do with that, though :D Take what worked of each of those times, put it to use and.... ack, hope you don't hit an overload Nope Wall.

 

[Ronin]

When you realize how darned complex your 'simple' is.

But then you also realize you can move with it by turning it like a Rubic cube, until things fit.

Because 'until I snap' has never been an option, you force yourself away from it when crossing that river.

So fine, last in this saga that was less a mess... oh, that was all a coffee time and thinking of stars, shooting, happy hunting, camping and bonfires. Back to that.

Otherwise, brain, stop. You're getting /miles/ wrong now. Stop being stressed, start measuring it by birds and things that make /sense/ and f*cking relax. Distances =/ people. We don't involve /people/. We think of non-human people. Whole nature, amigo. Tons of /nice/ people there. Tons of protection worthy people.

 

[Rani G2]

In a jungle filled with Diagnosis and clarifications, I let others explore my wounded self. A healthy amount of trust yet still being able to see my individual development behind all those diseases/psychiatric illness.

My fear to get hurt makes me isolate, I feel the existential threat, I dont want to ever land there. Its a horrible place where you just want to dissolve. I fear these emotions.

 

[Ronin]

When your 'alright' is clutching close a memory of all the /other/ f*ckups with fondness you're alive through it.

& When again accessible memory leads to facepalms and wanting to ditch all of it, straight away.

& When you pick speed requiring activities for a lifestyle just so you don't have to think of the passage of time of all that's truly important, as that makes you sad. Even the happy things. For different reasons. Tempus Fugit, move on.

 

[LisaBlanca]

Complex PTSD............

My mind went blank, I thought of an answer, lost it in a second.

By the...

This describes my thoughts perfectly.

 

[Freedomfighter]

You know you have complex trauma when you realize that you are not who you thought you were.
When you...

I came across such terms often, that is a fave of predators when they put words in your head and then you accept them as reality, and then you realize that none of that is really what you think or feel.

I absolutely hate it when I loose part of my speech and I sound like a person with a mental disability, when in actuality I am a very articulate and intelligent person.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Amen to that!

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When your therapist tells you your traumas are complex.

When it's time to talk about certain types of traumas that you experienced and you have to ask which one.

When you have enough stressors and triggers that you feel like you get bombarded from many directions and you feel overwhelmed and confused by all of the reactions it causes.

 

[Ronin]

You remember your standards for what is a big deal trauma and what is not are by measuring in a different country.

So cults and combat, losing loved ones and assorted funs are still a big deal thing, sexual violence lessee and physical violence is a pft for another day. Good to know. Note where I can see it.

 

[Ronin]

... And when one type of trauma f*cks you up so much because it is composites of other types of trauma that f*ck you up and is so distinct on its own to be unlike them.

... And when you want to be concrete but really do not, and you had a great dinner so puking must wait too, I am invincible and totally Batman in control of my life.

 

[Gaining-clarity]

When all the while you are breathing you can't breathe you can't breathe you can't breathe and you know you have to eat but that walk to the kitchen is like walking through your entire life and you can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe, and when you look in the mirror you see a stoic face but inside you're frenzied and you're sure your face shows it but it doesn't and you don't move from this uncomfortable position because it will wreck your back but you let it and space out and all you want to do is to run away and just want to go home, but you are home, and who has the energy to run anywhere? and you gotta get out of here but where is here and when you get out where are you going to go and whose going to be there and and and what am I going to eat? Put on a pleasant face. Be nice. Say Hi. Show love. It'll be all right. It's just a day. Don't you dare show anything. It'll be okay. When the sun comes up everything looks better. Hide hide hide hide the birds are chirping my head is spinning here he comes a dose of reality talk to someone remember where you are how much time has passed? two minutes? really? It could be a long day if I don't get busy.

 

[Ronin]

When you have no idea how to explain to caring, but not having a clue, people that trauma is not an exception in your life, the so called normal life are the extra bits you have to build from scratch, and an exception.

You know starting by All your assumptions about this situation are wrong is somehow a rude even if correct statement, so you just suck it up, as you are as annoyed as you are tired.