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You Know You Have PTSD When...

...when you want to log into your credit card account online and don't enter the number and password on the screen but try to push the credit card into the "credit card slot" of your laptop (which, of course, does not exist). *sigh* (Of course you don't just try once but three times before you realise the credit card is not an XD card.) ;)
 
I ran into my ex-husband on Facebook the other day, by way of a common friend. Brought back a BUNCH of nasty memories... none the less, old curious me, I had to go see his page and since his photos were open to the public, I had to go look. WHY OH WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF!!!
 
I had to go look.

I did the same thing with an old love of mine. He wasn't on fb per se, but his wife was with their daughter and some pictures of him. Mutual friends apparently between them and me. 20 plus years later and not even in the same town and still we have mutual friends. I was glad to see they were happy, except his daughter didn't look thrilled in the picture they had up. She is five.

I guess it feels kind of creepy to look. Despite having a loving husband, I still had to look. In truth I was wishing he was still mourning the loss of me. :eek::oops::whistling:
 
Be careful what you wish for Britt, after being divorced 25 years or more, my ex opined in a conversation how great our relationship was (forgetting the violence, brutality, controling behavior, affairs he had while married go me, giving me and STD and sexual assaulting me). Hmmmm... made me wonder if he was still drinking hard and doing drugs... because I didn't see a durned thing to romanticize about.
 
You are there to support your friends but can't take support back. When you have been supporting them for years and they stab you in the back.

When you see people happy and it makes you miserable because it's not a realty in your world.

When you think your doing ok just to find out it can be washed away in a blink of an eye.
 
Nighthawlk, I am with you in all three of those. :cry:

You know you have PTSD when being without internet and phone makes you feel like you are locked up in a tower.

You know you have PTSD when you are in panic because your cell phone is lost, and run to the next internet cafe to block your cell, because you think someone might have taken it, and you tell your close friends that your phone is lost, and then come back home exhausted and stressed out, to find it under your pillow on the sofa. :banghead:

You know you have PTSD when your support worker is used to you having a panic attack and holds your shoulders saying "Everything is good. Everything is good. Everything is good," just when you seriously think you are losing consciousness.
 

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