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- #73
G
Guest for now
Yeah, like I said...
What do they even teach these counselors? Rather as I expected, she made all the appropriate sympathetic noises and listened reflectively. That was about it. She wanted to jump right in and have me talk about the recent trauma right away. Isn't it in the very basic principles of therapy that you don't do that? Aren't they meant to start by making sure a person can stabilize before getting into the trauma? I mean, I've read about pretty much all the major schools of thought in trauma therapy and I kind of thought that was one thing they agreed on.
She seemed surprised when I said I didn't think that was a good idea, and backtracked a bit and asked questions like just how much distress I was feeling and what the past ten days have been like. But to all that, she didn't say much beyond "uh-huh."
I really get the impression that my trauma is way, way beyond her capacity.
Which is a very familiar feeling.
Which is terrifying.
I do have an appointment set up with someone who does somatic therapy. It's online. I don't know why. Doesn't seem a great setup to me.
I need someone to work with who can actually help me regulate my nervous system so the trauma isn't running my life. And it's not that such people don't exist, but they're expensive, and if this were a one-and-done trauma - I watched a cougar kill a cat outside my door - maybe a few sessions would be enough. But that's not my reality. I already spent most of my savings on the last major foray into trauma therapy, with someone who in the end did more harm than good.
I did tell this woman that my life feels perpetually like I'm hanging my my fingernails from the edge of a cliff, and that I need a lot of help and haven't been getting it.
"Mm-hmm."
ARGGHHH.
What do they even teach these counselors? Rather as I expected, she made all the appropriate sympathetic noises and listened reflectively. That was about it. She wanted to jump right in and have me talk about the recent trauma right away. Isn't it in the very basic principles of therapy that you don't do that? Aren't they meant to start by making sure a person can stabilize before getting into the trauma? I mean, I've read about pretty much all the major schools of thought in trauma therapy and I kind of thought that was one thing they agreed on.
She seemed surprised when I said I didn't think that was a good idea, and backtracked a bit and asked questions like just how much distress I was feeling and what the past ten days have been like. But to all that, she didn't say much beyond "uh-huh."
I really get the impression that my trauma is way, way beyond her capacity.
Which is a very familiar feeling.
Which is terrifying.
I do have an appointment set up with someone who does somatic therapy. It's online. I don't know why. Doesn't seem a great setup to me.
I need someone to work with who can actually help me regulate my nervous system so the trauma isn't running my life. And it's not that such people don't exist, but they're expensive, and if this were a one-and-done trauma - I watched a cougar kill a cat outside my door - maybe a few sessions would be enough. But that's not my reality. I already spent most of my savings on the last major foray into trauma therapy, with someone who in the end did more harm than good.
I did tell this woman that my life feels perpetually like I'm hanging my my fingernails from the edge of a cliff, and that I need a lot of help and haven't been getting it.
"Mm-hmm."
ARGGHHH.
