You Know You Have PTSD When...

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
When you realize that you lost everything and you are going to be alone forever. You can’t live in the moment and you messed up so many things that you can’t fix. When your nightmares become your reality.
Those mess ups can be forgiven, rewoven/rethought as past mistakes....stupidity of youth.....carved into the brain in not such a black and white way. You can apologize if that is needed. When you lose something you feel is valuable or love, that is a true loss....and you will grieve. When you lose someone you weren't good enough for or who intentionally hurt you, you are only changing something for the better.....but change is hard.

There is the sound of living by yourself. Stop......listen......you only hear your own criticism....no one elses. You can create your own drama...and likely will if that's what you are used to even...if you live alone. But you don't have to.....that's your choice. In living alone, you don't have to please anyone but yourself (maybe your pets), and you don't have to share if you aren't in the mood-you live alone. Quiet is a wondrous sound. Living alone and being alone are two different things. Some people feel like if they don't have family, they are alone.....but I have found people who love me, who treat me better than my family ever did, and they do what they say....walk their talk....mean what they say. I can trust them to follow through. It did require making new friends with similar interests.

So, I think resigning yourself to being alone forever.......really very bleak outcome that doesn't need to happen....unless that is the way you choose it to be.
 
Last edited:

AnnieMae

Confident
Those mess ups can be forgiven, rewoven/rethought as past mistakes....stupidity of youth.....carved into the brain in not such a black and white way. You can apologize if that is needed. When you lose something you feel is valuable or love, that is a true loss....and you will grieve. When you lose someone you weren't good enough for or who intentionally hurt you, you are only changing something for the better.....but change is hard.

There is the sound of living by yourself. Stop......listen......you only hear your own criticism....no one elses. You can create your own drama...and likely will if that's what you are used to even...if you live alone. But you don't have to.....that's your choice. In living alone, you don't have to please anyone but yourself (maybe your pets), and you don't have to share if you aren't in the mood-you live alone. Quiet is a wondrous sound. Living alone and being alone are two different things. Some people feel like if they don't have family, they are alone.....but I have found people who love me, who treat me better than my family ever did, and they do what they say....walk their talk....mean what they say. I can trust them to follow through. It did require making new friends with similar interests.

So, I think resigning yourself to being alone forever.......really very bleak outcome that doesn't need to happen....unless that is the way you choose it to be.
I haven’t found anyone outside of my family that treats me better. Even friend wise. Maybe some day I will. Hopefully, one day I will. I know it’s my fault. I am attracted to people that don’t like me. So messed up, I know. It’s like trying to beat it into my head- don’t chase those that don’t want you. Hard to do for me. I know why, I thought all of my dreams came true then I was blind sided. I thought I was a certain person, and this whole situation changed my life. I was preyed on by someone. They faked a relationship with me to get ahead in life, took it all away, and I had a meltdown from all of the issues in life. Now, I keep having meltdowns and it keeps preventing me from moving on. Most people I have had issues with have not been understanding or helpful. The things I really need are not there for me. The worst is the anxiety. I never had it before. Not like this. This is just so extreme, and I can’t stand it.
 
Last edited:

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I haven’t found anyone outside of my family that treats me better. Even friend wise. Maybe some day I will. Hopefully, one day I will. I know it’s my fault. I am attracted to people that don’t like me. So messed up, I know. It’s like trying to beat it into my head- don’t chase those that don’t want you. Hard to do for me. I know why, I thought all of my dreams came true then I was blind sided. I thought I was a certain person, and this whole situation changed my life. I was preyed on by someone. They faked a relationship with me to get ahead in life, took it all away, and I had a meltdown from all of the issues in life. Now, I keep having meltdowns and it keeps preventing me from moving on. Most people I have had issues with have not been understanding or helpful. The things I really need are not there for me. The worst is the anxiety. I never had it before. Not like this. This is just so extreme, and I can’t stand it.
Anxiety sucks.....exercise.....sleep....work at your current purpose in life....and find something you really just enjoy doing and make sure you do it regularly. Good luck there.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I haven’t found anyone outside of my family that treats me better. Even friend wise. Maybe some day I will. Hopefully, one day I will. I know it’s my fault. I am attracted to people that don’t like me. So messed up, I know. It’s like trying to beat it into my head- don’t chase those that don’t want you. Hard to do for me. I know why, I thought all of my dreams came true then I was blind sided. I thought I was a certain person, and this whole situation changed my life. I was preyed on by someone. They faked a relationship with me to get ahead in life, took it all away, and I had a meltdown from all of the issues in life. Now, I keep having meltdowns and it keeps preventing me from moving on. Most people I have had issues with have not been understanding or helpful. The things I really need are not there for me. The worst is the anxiety. I never had it before. Not like this. This is just so extreme, and I can’t stand it.
I've found creating boundaries really helps. Decide what behaviors you want to exemplify......and do it every day......and expect the same from others. If walk your talk (do what you say your going to do), be kind to others, live a life with integrity.....go to work/make your own way or do your best to take care of you.....then you should want to be around people who live the same way. Drama only creates low self esteem and you end up playing roles in dysfunctional drama. I like to think that I'm better able now to spot the onset of drama, and that's a boundary-no drama. People don't have to create unnecessary drama.....so find people who are comfortable with themselves who also avoid drama. Life throws drama at us one in a while.(someone has a huge problem and a huge emotional response but it's all how you handle it)... I realized I was a participant in lots of drama for a long time. When you stop being involved in drama, and consistently back aways from it......your life gets much more predictable.....quieter......and more positive....that's my experience anyway. So drama is a choice....and chasing people who don't want you.......sure to result in drama.
 
I've found creating boundaries really helps. Decide what behaviors you want to exemplify......and do it every day......and expect the same from others. If walk your talk (do what you say your going to do), be kind to others, live a life with integrity.....go to work/make your own way or do your best to take care of you.....then you should want to be around people who live the same way. Drama only creates low self esteem and you end up playing roles in dysfunctional drama. I like to think that I'm better able now to spot the onset of drama, and that's a boundary-no drama. People don't have to create unnecessary drama.....so find people who are comfortable with themselves who also avoid drama. Life throws drama at us one in a while.(someone has a huge problem and a huge emotional response but it's all how you handle it)... I realized I was a participant in lots of drama for a long time. When you stop being involved in drama, and consistently back aways from it......your life gets much more predictable.....quieter......and more positive....that's my experience anyway. So drama is a choice....and chasing people who don't want you.......sure to result in drama.
When you come to the forum, read a reply and feel no guilt for telling relatives off for crossing boundaries and causing unneeded drama.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
Truthseeker-I agree 100 percent. Those boundaries are a given. I dont really need to tell anyone off. I just remove myself and realize its not my problem....not my circus and not my monkeys. I am half joking about the beer....I quit smoking August 15th. I smoked for 45 yrs off and on, and it was my go to for stress of any kind, problems, celebrations, etc. I can't afford to get drawn in or put myself in others drama. My success/failures are my own. I have pretty bad copd from smoking. Boundaries are the key. I have told myself I can do anything else I want (eat, drink, sleep, etc) just not smoke.
 

Deanna

MyPTSD Pro
Truthseeker-I agree 100 percent. Those boundaries are a given. I dont really need to tell anyone off. I just remove myself and realize its not my problem....not my circus and not my monkeys. I am half joking about the beer....I quit smoking August 15th. I smoked for 45 yrs off and on, and it was my go to for stress of any kind, problems, celebrations, etc. I can't afford to get drawn in or put myself in others drama. My success/failures are my own. I have pretty bad copd from smoking. Boundaries are the key. I have told myself I can do anything else I want (eat, drink, sleep, etc) just not smoke.
Hey.. I quit 🚬 smoking in August too about 5 years ago. Good for you! I don't have any conditions yet but smoked for 35 years too. I just wasnt getting anything out of it anymore and the cost is through the roof!
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
When you come to the forum, read a reply and feel no guilt for telling relatives off for crossing boundaries and causing unneeded drama.

When it takes you a very long time to get your head or face wet in the shower.

and

When you’re obsessed with your teeth and/or skin.
Hey.. I quit 🚬 smoking in August too about 5 years ago. Good for you! I don't have any conditions yet but smoked for 35 years too. I just wasnt getting anything out of it anymore and the cost is through the roof!
Way to go!
 

Kittie

Confident
Those mess ups can be forgiven, rewoven/rethought as past mistakes....stupidity of youth.....carved into the brain in not such a black and white way. You can apologize if that is needed. When you lose something you feel is valuable or love, that is a true loss....and you will grieve. When you lose someone you weren't good enough for or who intentionally hurt you, you are only changing something for the better.....but change is hard.

There is the sound of living by yourself. Stop......listen......you only hear your own criticism....no one elses. You can create your own drama...and likely will if that's what you are used to even...if you live alone. But you don't have to.....that's your choice. In living alone, you don't have to please anyone but yourself (maybe your pets), and you don't have to share if you aren't in the mood-you live alone. Quiet is a wondrous sound. Living alone and being alone are two different things. Some people feel like if they don't have family, they are alone.....but I have found people who love me, who treat me better than my family ever did, and they do what they say....walk their talk....mean what they say. I can trust them to follow through. It did require making new friends with similar interests.

So, I think resigning yourself to being alone forever.......really very bleak outcome that doesn't need to happen....unless that is the way you choose it to be.
Thank you, this spoke to my heart!
 
Top