Young and Not So New To This - Abused on Every Scale

[metis-siren]

An entire language in less than 4 days? Wow...I barely speak English properly

Yeah, my anxiety levels are getting higher, as I have checked with others, and its not just being able to recognize and translate it into English (which in itself is scary enough) but be able to put it into Cree. I'm tempted to apply for Aegrotat (sp?) because I'm supposed to be recovering from the flair up in my PTSD and anxiety from all the stuff the stalker brought up in the past little while, but the department refused to defer it, stating that they wouldn't be able to get my prof back here during the summer so I wouldn't be able to write it then. I'm just so tired of having things pile up and overwhelm me. I actually enjoy school, but all of this makes me just want to just say screw it.

I feel trapped. I don't have many people I can turn to, I don't speak with anyone in my family. My boyfriend is in France right now - I'm alone. I guess I feel like it's taken me the four years I've been at university to figure out how to live with my physical and mental health conditions and now that I have, I'm being punished for them. My financial aid is tricky, and they've told me if I drop another class (even though I give them medical cert's for every single one of them) that they won't give me funding anymore. I'm in between years and can't take the courses I want or need most of the time making my academic life longer, and the need for financial aid more important. To be able to do ANYTHING academically now, I have to clear it my psychiatrist and sometimes my pain specialist, the disability centre on campus, OSAP, and a host of other areas even to be able to consider doing something. I feel like in the process of dealing with everything I've lost the ability to show that I can do this, that I am capable of great things.

 

[reallydown]

You haven't. I can see from your posts that you're capable of great things. I know...uni is so stressful as it is...and with all this crap going on fo rus...it's even tougher. I also get pissed off (at myself mainly...then at evryone/thhing else that caused this to happen) for not doing what I'm capable of doing...it's so frustrating to see my gpa sliding and hopes of doing grad school going down the drain with it...Hang in there Siren...I'm glad you'r eon the forum. :)

 

[anthony]

Hello metis, welcome to the forum. I actually really look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you, hopefully give you that push you need in order to look at the trauma itself, not just the repercussions from it.

 

[metis-siren]

Hi Audrey,

Thank you for the warmn welcome, it means a lot. As for school, I guess figuring things out while one has PTSD isn't necessarily the easiest task, but I do find hope by knowing others have been able to get through it.

I'm also a student. I finished my law degree a few years ago, and had to take 3 years off so I could come back and do the graduate diploma I need to do in order to practice. Yes, it's hard to study while you have PTSD, it's such a struggle. I don't know how I do it, but I guess I don't really have a choice.