A Thought...

[Cool Cat]

Hi guys,

I was reading a blog on discussingdissacociation dot com. And I saw this quote:

"Is it harder to face how you were abused and who abused you? Or is it harder to live a life full of depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, troubled relationships, extreme fears, [DLMURL="http://www.everydayhealth.com/pain-management/hip-pain/index.aspx"]physical pain[/DLMURL], and addictions?"

What do you think? Is this a good point? Or is this oversimplyfying the healing process?

 

[Beachlife09]

i think that's a brilliant quote! It does oversimplify a bit, but overall that really is what it will eventually boil down to, i think. But we still have to go through the

life full of Link Removed, Link Removed, thoughts of suicide, troubled relationships, extreme fears, [DLMURL="http://www.everydayhealth.com/pain-management/hip-pain/index.aspx"]physical pain[/DLMURL], and addictions

while facing our pasts. (If that makes any sense ;))

 

[Whitebird]

I think it is harder to face how I was abused and who abused me. Every time I faced my abuse I felt more anxious, depressed, feared, suicidal and shameful, so what is the point to face my abuse??!

 

[Hope4Now]

I think it is a good point and gets to the crux of the issue.
However, it makes it sound as if this is a conscious choice for those of us who suffer from these issues.
I KNOW what I need to do. I need to process the trauma by "facing up" to what happened and all the locked up emotions surrounding it. But KNOWING what I need to do and being able to actually DO it are quite different. I beat myself up every day for not being able to do it, and that just drives me further into the chaos.

 

[Cool Cat]

i think that's a brilliant quote! It does oversimplify a bit,

I wonder did the person who wrote it experience trauma?

Like I read what was to be honest a pretty stupid quote recently that the cure to depression was perspective. Like, but that comes after a lot of therapy, a lot of grieving, a lot of pain, you dont come to those perspectives straight away.

It does have a lot of truth in it though. Like if I dont learn to accept my trauma, I do fall into the depressed/suicidal/self harming traps.

 

[Cool Cat]

it makes it sound as if this is a conscious choice for those of us who suffer from these issues.
I KNOW what I need to do. I need to process the trauma by "facing up" to what happened and all the locked up emotions surrounding it. But KNOWING what I need to do and being able to actually DO it are quite different.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. I felt guilty after reading the quote that I have spent much more time in the second category. I too know that I need to allow myself to feel safe, to trust people, to grieve, to experience emotion and live the lift I want to lead. But my defenses come in in so many unconcious ways.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

'@Cool Cat I agree this quote oversimplifies the healing process. It is like one of those self-help quotes: "It is your life!", or "You survived! You are very strong!", etc. It makes it sound as if playing Destiny's Childs - Survivor will make everything better. It fails to acknowledge the struggle that've have to face on a daily basis and that it takes time.

I recently came to the realization that knowing and believing are not the same thing. I know that I deserve to be loved, and cared for, and that I am a good person but most of the time I don't believe this. And this is the real struggle for me - dancing between the light and the dark and discovering the shades in between.

 

[Sandstone]

It's MUCH easier to live a half life, full of all the things listed. That's the problem, isn't it? Living that life just requires continuing to do what I do daily. facing the past means changing and taking risks with my survival

 

[WillyKat]

There are better bumper stickers, like: "PTSD: Not all wounds are visible."

 

[NovemberStar]

IRONICALLY - that quote sums up PTSD in a nutshell - it isn't an 'either or' with us who were traumatized growing up and are now living with PTSD - instead, we get BOTH - the trauma and pain and fear of 'facing the abuse' AND the concurrent living life with the after effects - depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. its not 'which is harder' - its 'you have both those paths' and each are equally horrible and awful

i find it one thousand times harder to live life with the PTSD than face the abuse. back then, i was a young child, i had no ways of reaching out. i had no one to turn to, no hope of escape. as a child, i dreamed of being dead, tried to take my life and when it didn't work, felt more helpless and hopeless than ever.

as an adult, i have more 'choice' and have a therapist i can turn too - but it is not easier to deal with. quite the opposite - for years i was told 'now you're an adult, you have more choices and more hope and aren't helpless anymore'. i don't find that true at all. having 'more choice' merely means i now have the know how how to take my life, so it's on my mind a lot more. reaching out for 'help' doesn't take the pain away, and doesn't even work. just like when i was growing up - feelings suicidal is just the way it is - being 'kept safe' is no more an option now, as it was back then.

 

[Beachlife09]

IRONICALLY - that quote sums up PTSD in a nutshell - it isn't an 'either or' with us who were traumatized growing up and are now living with PTSD - instead, we get BOTH - the trauma and pain and fear of 'facing the abuse' AND the concurrent living life with the after effects - depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.

Well said!

 

[anonymous]

I think it has no point. Comparing any two aspects of this awful disorder doesn't make it deep or profound. Who cares which is worse? Funny, as 99% of you scream bloody murder when any sort of comparison is made.....