Loving Someone With Ptsd

[Sideways]

"Junk" is my shorthand for all the ptsd mess in my noggin: the memories and flashbacks, the negative beliefs I have about myself, others and the world, the cognitive distortions that impair my ability to make rational decisions about things, experience emotions in a level way and behave in a level way, the trust issues, the guilt and shame that follow me around...all the different ways that the trauma has impacted the way I think, feel and consequently behave.

Depending on the person and the trauma, there's different amounts of brain-junk. I've got complex trauma on board, so I've got a lot of junk.

 

[Devastated 31]

"Junk" is my shorthand for all the ptsd mess in my noggin: the memories and flashbacks, the nega...

Is it impossible to heal and get better will he floor of emotions of us ever . Hes so distant we were so close . Says he loves us still wants to be with us but needs to fix himself first and protecting me til he learns how to cope .

 

[Sideways]

I'm sorry. Your situation sounds pretty hard. And there is no magic wand or golden answer. It's painful, and it takes time. But people do make it through to the other side.

How you and your partner proceed? Only you guys can answer that. His honesty is a good start.

 

[devastated31]

I'm sorry. Your situation sounds pretty hard. And there is no magic wand or golden answer. It...

Thank you so much. Is it possible he will flood with all the emotions he once had for me? Can it work out .. We did everything together now I barely hear from him its awful says he is to bad in his head.

He says he loves me the same never stopped then why stay away from me.. And not be with me.

 

[Sideways]

Can it work out? For some people it does.

Thing is, even though I have ptsd, I don't know him, and I don't know his trauma or gow ptsd is effecting him, or where he's at in treatment, or or or... It's a bit like crystal ball gazing, and I'd like to give you the answers you want to hear, but the answer is I just don't know:(

Have you tried a thread in the Supporter section? What you're going through is common, and I think maybe other supporters who are dealing with the same issues might be able to offer more helpful strategies to you to work through this with him.

That's not me trying to blow you off, that's just me saying I don't know, but maybe other supporters do. You're not alone with what you're going through...

 

[devastated31]

Can it work out? For some people it does.

Thing is, even though I have ptsd, I don't know him,...

ITs ok where do I go on the thread..

 

[Sideways]

If you click on the Menu icon at the top of the screen, select Forums from the list. Scroll through them and you'll find a bunch of Supporters forums to select from. That's the forums where Supporters exchange ideas and support:)

 

[Chlo122]

@MandyLou I just read your story and wanted you to know you are not alone! Our stories have A LOT of similarities and thought i would share.
I met my guy about 3 months ago. Same as you, i was the more reserved one. He was super open and vunerable with me. He told me that he wanted me to open up and that if he was vunerable, he felt it would help me open up. He definitely chased me. Texted/called everyday all day. Romantic dates, and even said he wanted to "wait" a few months before we got physical because he really wanted us to get to know each other. He is actually a reformed "bad boy". So he wasn't like this with everyone. So i definitely felt special. We had a great connection.
Cut to 3 weeks ago. He started acting a bit agitated. Then tells me he has decided to stop taking his anti-depressant. (paxil) He didn't like how he was feeling on them. Literally two days later, i got the distance and the pull away. I had no idea at the time that it was his PTSD, so i definitely thought it was me. I asked a few times and he said no. The main reason i wanted to share this story with you, is that your situation could be worse. Long story short, my guy ended up blocking me. Can't call him, can't text him. Can't facebook him. He blocked me on Fb. Can't instagram him. He blocked me. He even blocked me on Linkedin. He literally cut me out of his life. No reason.

I did have one conversation with him after calling him from my parents line. He said he was emotionally numb, and that i shouldn't wait for him. I asked if he still cared about me and he said he didn't even care about himself, so his answer had to be no. Since that conversation, he has posted pictures (found through a friend of mine since i was blocked) of him defintely moving on with other girls. He looks fine. Again, this ALL happened out of nowhere. We had conversations about us being together and he said he was sure i was who he wanted. He literally said that the day before he stopped his meds.

He is now gone, and i'm sure I won't hear from him. He is definitely moving on.
Anyways, it sounds like your guy really cares about you and still wants to see you. I think you definitely have some light at the end of your tunnel. And if it ends up not working out with you two, it sounds like he will at least handle it with more care then my guy did.
I am trying to move on, but i literally miss him every day. We weren't together long, but we were really on the road to something special and it's gone.
GOOD LUCK and i wish you the best!!

 

[MandyLou]

@Chlo122 ,

my situation didn't turn out to be any better... he just dropped me for absolutely no reason and has cut all the communication. He has never been on meds for PTSD so stopping medication is not an excuse in this situation. I honestly think that he was just a self-absorbed jerk and PTSD has nothing to do with it. He got me, played me, found out he doesn't want it and dumped me. PTSD or not, I don't want anybody like this. It's a breathing nightmare.

 

[Chlo122]

@Chlo122 ,

my situation didn't turn out to be any better... he just dropped me for...

@MandyLou oh no! Did this just happen? I thought he was still hanging out with you? I feel your EXACT pain. I can't seem to shake the sadness. How did he cut the communication??

 

[MandyLou]

@Chlo122 , it's been a month and a half. He just stopped communicating... Stopped answering texts or calls. Well, we work at the same place, he was withdrawn in person as well but would communicate very little but be nice... But still ignores my texts and calls. I haven't texted or called since 5/3, and I am tired of being rejected. Well, i was not going to chase after him to make him care about me. He just didn't and I deserve better. Hurts... But it's the truth.

 

[MandyLou]

It was sort of gradual... towards the end I could feel he wasn't emotionally there anymore for whatever reason, wouldn't be sweet to me or loving to me... No one had treated me better like I had... Here I am now feeling very used and discarded like a useless piece of clothing.