Research Writer Looking For Info On Ptsd

[Sideways]

50 Shades Of Flashbacks...why the hell not:tup:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Sighs, Im sorry you are going through that, it must be hard.

However, as a sufferer of 3 mental disorders, I hold tight to the hope that one day, even soon, I can be in a romantic healthy relationship and many here have those.

So neither discribes the whole.

 

[Sighs]

@lostforgottensoul - absolutely a person suffering mental disorders can be in a long term romantic relationship. But it won't look like the ones in the 'bodice rippers'. Having said that, neither do real life relationships between two "normal" people. (Just remember - the only people who are normal are the ones you don't know very well.)

I've been with my combat PTSD sufferer for 3 years. My mother has been with my combat PTSD suffering father for 51 years. Neither relationship is a fairytale but it is what it is.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

So while all this is going on, I kind of want to point out that Dorothy Sayers wrote Lord Peter Wimsey as a romanceable character, despite him having PTSD so severe that sometimes he cannot actually finish the murder cases he starts investigating. Still, that was the detective genre, sub-genre amateur detective, and a relationship that took several books to result in a happy marriage that apparently lasted for quite some time. Definitely an obstacle was how Peter's fiancé interpreted and tried to understand his illness. In the end, she did not try to "fix" him, but accepted him with all his trauma. They both really loved each other.

That's the Sayers-written books, anyways—the more recent books, written by someone else, are extremely ableist, with the author making direct references in the text to how she thinks the original Lord Peter Wimsey was weak for expressing PTSD symptoms with no consideration for his fiance's feelings. Which, um, what?

Warning: Sayers was also anti-Semitic, which was extremely disappointing, since that also came out in her work in unfortunate ways.

Anyways, I once wrote an article focusing on analyzing Lord Peter Wimsey's PTSD and to some smaller extent his relationships, but I can't post links because the forums won't let me. :/

 

[Ronin]

People write all sorts of nonsense, so why the hell not, there might be humor & meeting 20 tropes, bad way, if nothing else.

(On a serious note, a couple of things bothering me, but my idea of 'romance' is muddy at best and not what most people imagine under romance so shutting my cakehole and learning from people that actually get relationships.)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

But it won't look like the ones in the 'bodice rippers'. Having said that, neither do real life relationships between two "normal" people. (Just remember - the only people who are normal are the ones you don't know very well.)

I am not advising that it will, or even should, look like 'bodice rippers'! I am saying 1) Its been done in both books and movies before. (Writting where one main character has a mental disoer) 2) the OP was asking about PTSD and PTSD relationships, therefore they want it to be as accuratly as possible.

I do agree that more reseach via books and internet should be done and I am certianly not saying any relationship is peaches & cream, no relationship is but writing about the real struggles in a PTSD relationship and asking about those strugglings here, from the ones that live with it and supports the ones with it so that their character's struggles are fairly accurtate as is the relationship struggles.

Im sorry, but Im failing to see an issue of wanting to write a romance novel (where not all are about sex and the christian ones have no sex but is still called a romance novel) where a main character struggles with PTSD. If it reads like 50 Shades of Grey, ok, now i have an issue...but why jump directly to the conclusion without asking. Guests dont have access to member only and private areas. The rest of our threads are placed on social media anyway (title & first few lines but when clicked on it leads here) to increase traffic to the site so non-private/non-member only areas are out there anyway.

I would love to read a book where a chacater had PTSD, they had relationship struggles and work them out and end up having a strong wonderful relationship in the end.

Anyway, my 4 cents.

 

[Whyteferret]

I just want to say this------

Romance novels are oftentimes called soft core porn for lonely hou...

There are different types. I read a series of books about the paranormal investigators who are FBI agents. They all end up falling in love but it's not pornish

 

[lostforgottensoul]

They all end up falling in love but it's not pornish

Right! I own a Christian romance novel that has a lot of romance without sex. That was back in my 'i want to understand "godstuff" days' but still. Ive read many that have very little to no sexual activity or talk at all as well as many books and movies about mental disorders including many MANY movies about 2 falling in love and one has a mental disabilty. And this was about a war vet, not a sexual abuse victim so I dont see the issue, at all. Im sure most war vets miss and welcome sex. Im sure some dont but this is fictional based on a real disorder and wanted to be as acurate as possible, I fail to see the issue.

 

[OrganicRobot]

I have only read parts, yes parts of romance novels in my life. One was the boring house-wife, Prince Charming in a box and completely fairy-tale unrealistic. I only read part of a page before putting it down. The other... it was like a train wreck and I couldn't put it down for a chapter or two... mind you I started reading in the middle of the book too...

This middle aged lady was dating a bit younger guy... and the lady had a daughter... the guy started sexually harming the daughter... and the mother shot him... so... there are really messed up fictional stories out there. In the romance section...

My point is - if you are going write a book do the necessary research first and realize writing about PTSD could potentially re-traumatize some people... and leave others in shock and horror.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I can picture the title


'50 shades of PTSD'

It will be a sellout.[/QUO...

Not a bad title everyone knows all us PTSDers are into bondage, degradation and torture.

The goods news is most of us grow out of that phase

Now it would be
a whole different story,

for women anyway,

As:

50 Shades of PTSD (when you're over 50)

 

[UnKnown-Self]

a person who has PTSD can't ever have a enjoyable romantic relationship.

That is absolutely not true. Before my husband got depressed and then passed away.... We had a wonderful romance. He pursued me and I was 49 years old, he was 59.He met me after work after dating a couple times, with a picnic basket and we went to a little park. He had hummus and vegetables, apples, cheese and red wine. He broke off things saying try this with that. My lack of knowing and my enjoyment in learning and his need to be a hero, a HenryHiggins and I was enthralled with it. There is only so much mileage that can go. It was an amazing five years. We danced to standards while we cooked together. We cleaned and shopped together, we did everything together. We traveled often. He made me feel loved for the first time in my entire life. He would listen to me when I was down and let me cry on his shoulder. 3 of his for children were girls and he was a ladies man. Not in the wolf way but he loved being looked up to. He taught me to ride a bike, how to say library instead of lie-berry but in a nice fun way.
It was a fairytale. In the end, we didn't have the skills to help each other. But it was a fairytale that lasted 5 years. I figure it was a good run while it lasted.

I don't know if I'll have another romance but I know a time will come, I'll look for companionship.
First though, I have to learn to love me.

 

[NatBird]

@Alice.in.Wonderland
Thank you for sharing that.