I'm In Crisis!

[Changing4Best]

I had this neighbor who had the hots for me. I didn't know that, so I was trying to be polite to him, but not too friendly. He interpreted that as that I was interested in him, I guess, and pressed his body into mine with his pelvis right into mine right in the middle of the grocery store! I ducked away from him and got away quickly. That happened about a year ago. It really freaked me out when it happened, as I am the victim of childhood sexual abuse and an adult rape too.

Anyway, that was a year ago. Now, yesterday, he showed up at my safe haven, the local Senior Center. I was in the other room doing exercising, and when I came into the main room, he had chosen a chair right next to mine, where I had placed my stuff. So, I grabbed my stuff and moved to another seat. I ignored him the whole time I was there, also warning the director of the Senior Center what he had done to me a year ago and also letting her know that he was kicked out of our building for wild parties, getting drunk a lot and so on, SHe said she had already had to site him for using bad language, and would kick him out if he showed any of the signs I warned her about.

I feel better about the situation, knowing that most likely he will be kicked out in the future. I doubt he will be able to behave himself. But in the meantime, until he gets kicked out, I am really uncomfortable in the place where I have usually felt very comfy and at home. I am very upset and just in general jumpy and unnerved.

My neighbor just told me that he made improper advances toward her too, so this is a pattern of his, I guess.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Personally I think that you need to sit down and have a long talk with yourself. This is nothing to be "in crisis" over. You are over thinking, building this up and causing yourself way to much anxiety.

Yes, the guy is a creep, plain and simple. But you have many things at your disposal to protect yourself. The law, and knowledge. Make others aware of what you know when the creep shows up, and make sure you are safe, but really you are not in crisis. If he makes a move on you, call the cops and then let them handle it. But calm down.........

 

[Ruinedforever]

In sorry that you have a neighbor stalking/harassing/making inappropriate comments.
The best thing you can do is ignore him, don't get a rise out of him... My guess is that he wants fire to be added to the flame. But like the poster above me stated maybe You should talk to hm and make your intentions clear: you don't feel the same way as he does for you. Bring a friend if it will help!

Either way, he showed up at your save haven. I'm not suggesting you find a new one, because our safe havens can be hard to find. And he was every right to go there too, after all this is America.

If the problem persists, maybe look into getting a restraining the order?

I hope the best for you!

 

[Changing4Best]

OK, So maybe this does not seem like a crisis to either of you, but it feels like one to me. I have emailed my therapist and asked her to call me. Maybe she will have some advice that makes sense to me. At this point, since there is suicidal ideation on my part, I do feel as if I am in crisis. I don't have a plan or anything, and I am fighting it, but when I am alone, it comes to mind and I am not entirely able to fight it. I am having anxiety too, of course.

Right now, I am at a neighbor's. I am OK at this moment. However, when I am alone, that is when it hits me the hardest. That is when I cave. ANd I am alone for a great deal of my days. I also have lost internet conection, so I have no way to be online, unless I come to visit this neighbor. She is being nice about it, but lets face it, if I wake at 3AM, I cannot knock on her door. That is often when I come to this website for comfort and advice, but I won't be able to do so. Not until our internet is fixed, and that won't happen until the first or later.

From now until the first of the month, I need a plan or plans to deal with this, and I don't have one!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Ok, you hit the nail on the head when you said that you FEEL like you are in crisis. That's the emotional portion of your brain talking right now and it's ruling everything. But if you stop and think about this from the logical portion of your brain you would see an entirely different picture.

Nothing happened. The creep sat next to you. He did it to get to you, and he succeeded. You did the appropriate thing. You told someone. Ok, so logically nothing has happened, you are safe at home or with your neighbor.

One of the biggest issues with us people with PTSD... We THINK with our emotions, and NOT the LOGICAL sides of our brains. Our emotions go crazy, we THINK everything is horrible, we drive ourself so batty, and make things so much worse than it actually is. Somewhere, somehow we all need to just STOP and call on our logic to rethink what is really going on, and is it real or imagined??????

I did not dismiss what you posted, I merely tried to talk you down from something that you created and wasn't a crisis. I didn't feed into your already heightened state.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @SheilaKathy - oh how awful. This would really trigger and stir things up for me to too if a very unsafe person invaded my safe place. He has sexually harassed you and engaged in unwanted touch. It's a crime for him to do what he did a year ago, and he's clearly not a guy who easily listens to no. :(

From now until the first of the month, I need a plan or plans to deal with this, and I don't have one!

Got it.

So, I grabbed my stuff and moved to another seat. I ignored him the whole time I was there, also warning the director of the Senior Center what he had done to me a year ago and also letting her know that he was kicked out of our building for wild parties, getting drunk a lot and so on, SHe said she had already had to site him for using bad language, and would kick him out if he showed any of the signs I warned her about.

This is excellent! It seems like this is a great plan for the Senior Center.

OK, So maybe this does not seem like a crisis to either of you, but it feels like one to me. I have emailed my therapist and asked her to call me. Maybe she will have some advice that makes sense to me. At this point, since there is suicidal ideation on my part, I do feel as if I am in crisis. I don't have a plan or anything, and I am fighting it, but when I am alone, it comes to mind and I am not entirely able to fight it. I am having anxiety too, of course.

Do you have a list of people or crisis lines you can call or text when in a crisis in addition to this awesome neighbor? I have a plan of "I will call..." xyz people before I do anything to harm myself... and I also have a list of coping skills I will engage. It's like an agreement between me and my therapist that I will do this before hurting myself. (on the end of the list is "go to the ER.")

If this creep escalates or come near you again in any way, remember you can tell him "no, please go away" and if he doesn't go away, call 911.

 

[Changing4Best]

OK, So I called our Emergency mobile Crisis unit and asked for them to come to me. They did so, doing an eval and making an agreement with me that I signed, basically stating that I would not harm myself, I would make an appointment to see my therapist ASAP and also to stay around people at the Senior Center, not going into any of the areas that no one congregates in. I am to call them (who did the assessment) if I have any more SI or am very emotionally upset. I have their card and their number is in my phone contacts list now. My prayer partner is calling me today at 8AM and we will also be praying together. I feel so much better! Thanks, for your thoughts.

 

[Changing4Best]

Ok, you hit the nail on the head when you said that you FEEL like you are in crisis. That's the emotiona...

Yes, my feelings were very raw yesterday, I agree. I knew I needed help, so I contacted the help-line and they helped me. We averted a hospitalization, thank GOd! Were it not for them, I would have gone to the ER. I probably would have been admitted. Instead, it all worked out, because I reached out to the right people for help, when my therapist did not return my call. I still don't know why she neglected to do so. WHen I call her today to make an appointment, I shall find out.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have an emergency appointment to see my therapist on Monday, and my neighbor said if I need to talk, she or her mother who is a nurse can help me. So I am in good hands. I'm also doing a lot better today emotionally and physically.

 

[Justmehere]

That's excellent! Good work! I hope things continue to improve. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Sheila there are some men who do what happened to you and unfortunately when it happened to me and I made a report nothing happened or it was never talked about again and then I came to find out that this guy was doing this with other women at the same time so I do understand why you were so upset.

It is a creepy thing to have happen to anyone. Keep you in prayers and glad it all worked out for the best for you.

 

[Heather]

@SheilaKathy I'm sorry you have to go through this again. And it's NOT surprising that seeing that creep would trigger stuff for you. I don't agree with some of the comments that have been made.

I'm glad you reached out and are getting the support you need.

My brother-in-law sexually assaulted me several years ago. I saw him 2 years after it happened in Target parking lot and it sent me into a tail spin and yes, I would say I was in a crisis situation (same as you).

Take care of yourself and when you're at the senior center stick to the "buddy system" to ensure your safety.

Hugs.