General Feeling Guilty

[Sweetpea76]

My vet hasn't been doing well for awhile. He hasnt been able to get an appointment for therapy in ages, so he just gave up on it.

He's been very symptomatic and depressed lately, and he has been obsessing. We have been talking about one topic for 6 days, all day long. He can't get over it. It's impossible to change the subject.

I know he can't help it. I know he's sick.... But I'm just. f*cking. over. it.

I feel terrible, but I'm losing my mind. It's completely wearing me out. I just don't want to listen to him talk about it anymore. It's nothing that I can do anything about. He doesn't want my opinion or help. He just wants to talk at me, and for me to sit there and say nothing. It's the same thing repeated in a loop... For 6 days.

I feel guilty for not being more patient.

 

[hodge]

Oh, Sweetpea, I'm so sorry you're going through this. What you've written is exactly why I rarely talk about my crap with my husband. He is here for me in the ways I need him to be. Most of my PTSD junk I reserve for here, my doc and therapist.

I don't think you should feel guilty. Sounds like you've gone above and beyond. It is really up to us with PTSD to learn to manage it without burdening our SOs and friends.

And can I just say? -- I live out in the middle of nowhere, but I could get a therapy appt. within two weeks right now, and with women therapists, which I definitely prefer.

It really sounds like you could use some respite care. Is there any nice place you could go to for a few days to get away and focus only on taking care of yourself? Like a cabin if you like that sort of thing, or a nice hotel with a pool? Or visiting with family? Anything that would help nurture you. My hubby needs respite too, and I encourage him to get out and do stuff he likes.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

You have a lot of patience.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I don't mind listening to him usually, but I think that is establishing some bad habits. I feel like he is using me as a therapist and dumping things on me. If that helps it's great. What bothers me is that I cant say anything in return.

He's obsessing over something and it's not healthy. It's something that is not hurting him at all physically. He's making himself nuts over it though. I think a therapist would have helped him work through it in the 40+ hours he's spent on it.

My sympathy, encouragement, and suggestions are not welcome, and that's the frustrating part. He could be talking to a wall.

 

[Sighs]

6 days?! And you feel bad that after 6 days you've heard enough? You have the patience of a saint!

My vet has certain repetitive conversations. @Sweetpea76, I think you and I both know more about firearms and ballistics than either of us would care to. And I smile and nod along. But when the topic becomes a full on hate fuelled rant eventually I can only listen for so long before I say "Ok. I know. I don't need to hear this again."

 

[Sweetpea76]

I think I just need a break for a day or two. I'm getting a shitty attitude about it.

I know that man, and I know he's symptomatic. He's not doing it on purpose. I think this is more about me and my patience right now. I need to take care of myself.

He's just been rough for a long stretch this time. I took a weekend away with the girls last month. Maybe I need another weekend. At this point in time I'd check into a hotel by myself and just sleep, order in, and soak in the tub.

Hell, getting away from my kids would be good too :confused:

 

[Sighs]

Its hell when the "rough patch" just seems to keep going and going and going!

A weekend away - while lovely - can't reset months and months of stress. Take some more time out if you possibly can.

 

[Peach]

Hope things are going better, Sweetpea, and that you were able to take that weekend away.

 

[Mytime]

Hope your doing ok sweetpea, :hug:'s if you except.

 

[dulcia]

It's the same thing repeated in a loop... For 6 days.

I didn't know this was a thing! I'm experiencing this now as well....it's been about a week and a half now.

Months later, but I hope you're feeling better :happy:

 

[Sweetpea76]

Months later and on to a new topic to obsess over... the freaking election.

I'm trying to take some more respite time. The trick is to do it without making him feel bad about me needing respite time, which can be hard at times.

 

[Gs172003]

Months later and on to a new topic to obsess over... the freaking election.

I'm trying to take som...

Oh Lord I'm sorry