Meds .... Yes Or No?

[screen-name]

This is my second post on here. I just joined. I am trying to figure some stuff out here at home and I find that no one in my family/friends can really understand what I'm trying to say to them. I get it. Some things are hard to explain without sounding insane.

I was doing great for about 6 years. I wasn't on any meds, I finished my BS, and I quit having panic attacks. It was pretty normal. I have started having issues again and I'm back in therapy. Right now I am not on meds because my therapist would like to see if this persists past a few months before I try meds. This time, it came back full blown; nightmares, flashbacks, panic, the works. I was told to tell the people close to me to leave me alone for a while. They aren't supposed to stress me in any way that can be avoided for a few weeks so I can relax.

This plan went really well for a few days but now they have things they want me to do to help myself. I really know they are trying to help so I am just listening and then doing what the therapist says. The main thing they are all pushing is me taking medications. I feel like I have made HUGE strides in just a week and I am still trying. I work from home so I'm even managing to stay on top of my job, which I really need to be able to keep. I may not be able to keep it if I'm medicated though. Before I only took things to reduce my panic and let me function through that. I have never been on anything more than that. Panic is my main thing and I do actually have something for that right now. I will freak out and disassociate completely so I am being careful there.

I want to wait a little longer on meds but they seem insistent and that is actually causing some stress for me. Is medication something that everyone on here has found necessary or do some of you hold off on that?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Who ever "they" are arent your therapist or you. Only you and your therapist can determine if you need meds.

But you can take meds and work. Im currently titrating up on seroquel xr (extended release) and my step mom was saying the entire time "you will be drugged and f*cked up all day" and im not. Its evening me out, lessing the intensity of my emotions some, helping the anxiety a ton so i can lower my xanax on my own and its just all around helping and I work in office and in no way "drugged up" or even a bit loopy. Im on a low dose, currently 150mg a day. My next titrate should be in a few weeks to 200mg. I likely will need and stop at 300mg.

Remember that even Abilify is an anti-psycotic too but at low doses is sold as an additive to an anti-depressive.

 

[Silver.]

If you and your therapist think you are doing fine without meds, that is the route you need to take. If your family is trying to push something onto you, that you have established that you don't need at this time, then you need to set boundaries with your family. Ask them to stop pushing it. The path to recovery can be very intimate for people. You don't have to reveal everything to your family to set boundaries. If they are not listening to your pleas to stop pushing meds on you, then you need to create stronger boundaries, such as letting them know you (temporarily) cannot be around them if they are going to bring up issues that you feel are pressuring, or against what you have established. You can be strong in this. Rely on your gut and your therapist. Best of luck to you.

 

[screen-name]

Thanks you guys!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Some people prefer to go without meds due to the side effects and not wanting to be dependent on meds. I am on meds that work and really have made a huge difference in my life but it sure took a very long time to get the meds that work right.

 

[screen-name]

Some people prefer to go without meds due to the side effects and not wanting to be dependent on meds. I...

I am a little worried about your second point. I know the wrong meds can make things worse. Right now, something effecting me negatively may be a VERY negative situation. I am not really depressed at the moment. I have thought about getting in my car and leaving for a new life on an island, but I am not a risk for self harm at all. I don't want that element to change because of a medication.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think you it would be best for you to go with your gut instincts on this one. Just my opinion.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Or do what I have to do with my dad, its just so something you dont talk about. Doesnt mean you cant hang out with them, you just talk about surface stuff and it is a suface relationship but at the moment or until they respect your choices and your therapist's opinions then you have to have a surface relationship for now.

ETA: I mean about your family pushing you.

 

[screen-name]

Or do what I have to do with my dad, its just so something you dont talk about. Doesnt mean...

That is a good idea. It's just hard right now. My current "hurdle" is the desire to even get past all of this. I feel like rebuilding to go back to a life that I couldn't handle in the first place is dumb. With that feeling, the idea of losing the connection with the people around me is scary, because that means I am going to have to handle life on my own. I know some of this is irrational, but that doesn't make the fear any less intense right now.

On another note, I can't believe I am talking like this with you guys lol. I'm normally more guarded. Maybe it's the online atmosphere. It's nice though.

 

[St.Maybe]

Congratulations on all your good self-work... I think that whoever "they" are, pressuring you about your treatment options qualifies as causing you undue stress. I would thank them for their input, but ask that they refrain from making suggestions unless asked at least for the next month or so as you work out your treatment with your therapist... because now that you've gotten so much input you need room to consider and space to just be where you're at with it.

Wishing you well,
Reno

 

[lostforgottensoul]

the idea of losing the connection with the people around me is scary, because that means I am going to have to handle life on my own.

It is terrifying and it hurts but its necessary. I am now completely alone; no family, no friends, literally zero, no one. All i have is here, this site and my therapist and thats it.

My family, my entire family, every single member is abusive. All differently but all abusive nonetheless.

I can't believe I am talking like this with you guys

I can, i also can type but what i cannot say/speak outloud. Its also easier because its not face to face and as anonymous as possible.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It is terrifying and it hurts but its necessary. I am now completely alone; no family, no friends, literally zero, no one. All i have is here, this site and my therapist and thats it.

My family, my entire family, every single member is abusive. All differently but all abusive nonetheless.

To add to this, Im not saying cut them out of your life like I did my family. Im saying have a surface like relationship where things deep that you disagree on that triggers stress is something that is just not talked about and if they bring it up stop them and remind them "we dont talk about this" or nicer "id rather not discuss this" or just change the subject and if that doesnt work walk away. You must reduce non-needed stress. Its a boundry.

Its the elephant that no one talks about and thats ok because you can connect in other ways.