Sexual Assault Rape, Alchoal And Being Horny

[Deleted member 33287]

For those of you who are rape victims or know rape victims.

Are you interested in sex but your logical part of your brain says that sex is dangerous?

My friend with ptsd who was raped when she drinks she gets black out drunk. When she drinks she is all over guys. Was curious if that is normal for those who have been sexually assaulted? Asking because it seems when drinking it would give you away time from being scared of sex. Won't excuse that behavior but would make sense and help me connect the dots.

Thanks for the insight. Please don't attack me

 

[Friday]

Statistically most rape victims fall into one -or both- of two extremes; sexually promiscuous or sexually anorexic. Each has its upsides and it's downsides.

Does everyone? No. But most do. It's a very normal response. That's just Rape101.

I thought you were no longer friends with this person? That she had, in fact, gone no contact from you?

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Last time I checked I have not once been contacted by the police. Giving her space but getting clarity and answers I need

 

[Powder]

I have PTSD, am female, was raped. I don't ever get drunk, so I don't know what to think about that.

Her problem is alcoholism/substance abuse on top of whatever else she may have. Layers like an onion. You cannot "fix" someone like that, by the way. Just walk away or encourage them to deal with their problems head on. Support, support, support, but only if you can handle the whole mess from the sidelines only. Don't get involved. Not your problem.

 

[EveHarrington]

There's no behavior that needs to be excused, especially not drunken sex. IMHO.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

When she's drunk, she can let go of the fear and shame associated with her sexual assault, so, yes, I believe you're right on target.

 

[Friday]

@Mal Content ... Drunk doesn't do that for me, if anything it intensifies emotions... But it does relax the iron grip of self control I use the rest of the time. That was the pure relief of drinking. I suspect you're right, for some rape victims it might numb or let go of fear and shame. For others, like me, those may well be intensified but discipline releases, while maybe others have a different reaction? Just thinking we can each of us know what it does for ourselves, but maybe not for everyone else. Doing the same things, for different reasons :)

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@Mal Content ... Drunk doesn't do that for me, if anything it intensifies emotio...

Huh. That never occurred to me. Does it intensify your inhibitions, or am I misunderstanding what you mean by emotions.

For myself, I was raised to believe that only whores enjoyed sex. Imagine my horror and self-loathing when I discovered that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even now, I still prefer to have a bit of a buzz to quiet some of the noise...

 

[Friday]

Huh. That never occurred to me. Does it intensify your inhibitions, or am I misunderstanding what you mean by emotions.

Nope! Emotions up, inhibitions/self-control down. :)

________

ETA @Mal Content ... I don't have time to answer (below) right at the moment, but think the topic is really interesting / created a thread for it over in Discussion so we don't entirely hijack this thread that I'll answer in a bit... & have some more questions for you! :) (And anyone else who would like to join in the discussion)

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@FridayJones. I'm confused. When I tilt my head one way, I feel like we're in complete agreement. But when I tilt it back.. :confused:

I'm thinking of fear and shame AS the inhibitions. If those become intensified, how can you bear the emotional burden?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Was curious if that is normal for those who have been sexually assaulted?

Personally Im not scared of sex, I went the other way. But when I drink it very much enhances my libido and my ex had sex with me many of times when I was drunk and he wasnt (including before we started to date and as had many guys) and I in no way feel sexually assulted or taken advantage of by him or any of them.

It depends fully on the situation.

But I suppose being drunk can make someone scared of sex not so scared.

 

[sedna]

I felt completely nauseous at the topic title and comments, but since I've been doing a pretty good job at disclosing all kinds of stuff since I joined here, I should stop avoiding this topic all the time.

I cant tell what I think about stats. girl in question from the forum, I think it would depend on many factors in her situation. Age, whether the rape was a one time event and if she was sexually abused before that at home for example.

What it looks like is being forgotten a little in this thread is that girls and women often feel deprived of affection and approval. Sex is a way to get those things, alcohol can numb the fear and get rid of inhibitions so you feel free to get intense one on one attention and affection from a man.

If you've been raped then you have been stripped of your sense of self worth, when you're drunk you can put that aside and get some of that back by getting what feels in the moment like validation that you're attractive and worth something.

Lots of lonely or insecure girls do this while drinking when they haven't been raped or abused also. I'm not so sure it has anything to do with sex most of the time.

Most women dont have particularly satisfying sex with guys they've just met while they're drunk. The odds of that are about like winning over 20 bucks on a lottery scratcher.....

I cant say I've never managed it, but you dont want to know how many tickets I had to buy first.