Sexual Assault Rape, Alchoal And Being Horny

[lostforgottensoul]

but you dont want to now how many tickets I had to buy first.

Oh god, so very true!

Yes, the affection, being close to someone even if its just a very sort while, being touched and "loved" (or my current understanding of love). Etc.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

You guys have been very helpful especially with out attacking me and will respond to every one in a short while

 

[scout86]

I'm not real sure what your question is. Are you suggesting using alcohol to overcome a fear of sex? If you are, you really don't see the problems with that? It's true that enough alcohol reduces your inhibitions. It also reduces your ability to see the difference between safe and unsafe. It reduces your ability to make high quality judgements about anything. Seems to me it would make a lot more sense to deal with the fear first and directly.

As far as emotions (are they emotions?) like Shame are concerned, unless you drink enough that you have no memory of events, don't you think there's going to be a fair amount of Shame the morning after? And maybe some conflicted feelings about your "partner" too. You're not only enhancing the risk of getting involved with the wrong kind of partner, you're setting yourself up with a cycle of self loathing and self medicating that no one actually needs. Seems to me it only benefits the wrong kind of potential partner. (One who cares more about what they want than what's actually good for you.) It would be better to deal with the problems that cause the inhibitions first, I think.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

I have PTSD, am female, was raped. I don't ever get drunk, so I don't know what to think about that.

Her...

Right now I have figured out that I am not ready to be a friend to her right now. I am not ready and equipped to be one. I have no idea how to love with patience and trust and won't be in her life till I can do those two things.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

There's no behavior that needs to be excused, especially not drunken sex. IMHO.

There's no behavior that needs to be excused, especially not drunken sex. IMHO.

no sex just overly flirty and touchy feely

 

[Deleted member 33287]

I felt completely nauseous at the topic title and comments, but since I've been doing a pretty good job a...

Hasn't had drunk sex just overly flirty touchy and feely.

I do know her dad never gave her love and affection that a dad should give his child.

I am not a bad person or at least like to think I am not. A girl told me she was raped and has pushed me away. I am starting to learn to forgive her.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I was never so drunk as to forget things or have drunken sex. Then again I have a high tolerance for most booze. But I never forget & drunk or not am not overly-inclined to wanting a stranger to make out with me. Just me though.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

she gets blacked out drunk, but if that is her way of coping im not one to judge

 

[Powder]

Because my father was my main abuser, but I am my siblings have all pushed that notion deep into our subconscious and used whatever we could to keep it there (sex, drugs, drink, distraction) and from what you have said she said, which we have all said, it seems at least plausible if not plausible that her father was an early rapist. Maybe this lead to other rapists taking over for him, as it does for many people who keep attracting the same trauma-type people.

Not saying I think he was, but having gone through this, I tend to be biased in favor of being suspicious of "distant dads" who are actually living in the home.

When 1/4 girls by 18 have reported a sexual assault, (and this is just a conservative estimate) you have to wonder how many fathers are sexually abusive out there, not to mention step-fathers, boyfriends of mom, etc.

For 1/4 girls and 1/3 boys to have had a child sex assault, then you have similar odds that the adult in their life was sexually abusing them. Mirror those odds, and you see why I am suspicious and feel that people need to respect the fact that MANY men are rapists, not all, many.

I have worked through many of my negative stereotypes and all-out fears of men, but I still have many fears that are unfortunately "reality-based" but need emotional effort from me, nonetheless, in order to function.

You have no reason to think anything negative of yourself for being pushed away by someone like me. I pushed everyone away.

Your ideas about the traits you'd need to be a permanent and reliable support for her are 100% accurate. I'm very impressed with your assessment of the situation. :tup:

 

[Deleted member 33287]

She said her dad never listens to her or cares what she thinks

 

[joeylittle]

When she drinks she is all over guys. Was curious if that is normal...

overly flirty and touchy feely

In whose judgement? Is this your opinion that she's 'all over' guys and 'overly' flirty? Or is this how she would describe her own problem?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

your logical part of your brain says that sex is dangerous

I don't think that logically sex is dangerous, so I disagree with that statement. It's really how you view sex, for me sex is healthy and mutual. But drunk sex is more risky and so is being drunk around people you don't trust to begin with to not take advantage of you. (having sex with someone who is blind drunk is unethically IMHO)