Relationship Not Telling Therapist All The Bits Of The Puzzle

[Baymax]

Hi,
I'm hoping someone can help. I've been friends with someone for several years and find myself in that blurry space between "friend" and "other woman".
Years ago he was diagnosed with PTSD from sexual abuse, and was diagnosed with bipolar about 18 months ago. For the past 12 months he has been in a deep depression which he is seeing a psych regularly and taking medication for.
The thing I need help with is that he tells me that he has been lying to both his wife, and his psych on the basis that "they are sick of him being ill so he tells them what they want to hear". He has been more open with me and admits to periods of "freezing" (which have been seen by mutual friends and he tells me neither wife nor psych know about) as well as continual suicidal and occasional homicidal thoughts. His psych has changed recently and I believe that he also hasn't told his current psych about the PTSD diagnosis. There are a few other behaviours that probably should also be mentioned to the psych to give a fuller picture of what is going on for him.
His behaviour has changed again in the past fortnight and he is starting to withdraw from me and our conversations and while he wont lie to me he often just doesn't respond.
Can I encourage him to be more honest with those close to him? How?
How else can I support him to ask for the assistance he needs?

 

[Changing4Best]

Ask him questions that help him to see what he is doing, as opposed to telling him what you think he should do. Ask him what he is gaining buy not disclosing things to his therapist. As him what he is afraid of, if he should tell his wife what is up with him. Things like that. Asking questions gently, repeating them in similar words if he does not reply, things like that. This is just my think on the situation, I am no expert!

 

[Padfield]

I agree with Sheila. Also, in my experience, it's best to tell a therapist EVERYTHING. That way the have the whole picture. They know exactly what's going on. How can they help if they don't know exactly what's going on?

 

[EveHarrington]

Gentle encouragement?

 

[Baymax]

I agree with Sheila. Also, in my experience, it's best to tell a therapist EVERYTHING. That way the...

Yeah, That's what I thought.
Thankyou

 

[Baymax]

Ask him questions that help him to see what he is doing, as opposed to telling him what you think h...

Thanks Sheila. This is kind of the approach I have been taking with the gentle questioning and subtle suggestions.

I guess the hardest part is when my own insecurities come in when he doesn't respond ..... and then I assume I've annoyed him. Although I have asked on several occasions when he's gone quiet and he always tells me its OK to keep sending him stuff (questions, quotes, crap about what I've been up to) and that he's just in a bad space.