Other Need Your Help

[ReynaJohn]

Hi, I am 24 now and 3 months pregnant. I was living with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. He was very gentle and caring. But now, when he came to know about the pregnancy he changed, he started to shout and harass me. And even he asked me to terminate my pregnancy. I don’t know what to do because I am excited about having a baby. Nowadays, I felt like he is ignoring me, he is not replying to my text messages and attending my calls. My friend told that he is dating another girl, and asked to get a lawsuit against him. I am confused, how could I go against my boyfriend. But she is the only helping hand for me and I can’t avoid her. I don’t have a good relationship with my family as they warned me in having the relationship with him but I avoided them. Need your valuable advice and suggestions.

 

[Friday]

Do you have PTSD? Or your boyfriend? Or...?

 

[joeylittle]

And is your boyfriend the father?

 

[LanaD]

Hi, I am 24 now and 3 months pregnant. I was living with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. He was...

Did your boyfriend know you wanted to have a baby and, if so, how did he feel about it? Or was this accidental?

From what you say I get the impression that the pregnancy was accidental but do let us know more about the details. But to be perfectly honest, at any rate, a man does not have to want a baby just because a woman got pregnant. If he's not replying to you and is already dating someone else you can either raise the child on your own or terminate the pregnancy. Seems he's very clear where he stands and I don't see on what grounds you would sue him (for child support? for a kid he's telling you he doesn't want?).

 

[RussH]

don’t know what to do because I am excited about having a baby

Based on this statement alone, I would strongly recommend not terminating the pregnancy, otherwise you may open yourself up to a lot of negative emotions.

 

[Casey_03]

At this point, it sounds like you need to give up on this guy and go on living your life without him. If you want to keep the baby, do keep the baby, but be prepared to have to do it on your own. The sooner you can forget this guy exists, the better it is for you. I have a two month old baby from a similar situation -- the guy changed when I became pregnant, despite having said he wanted a baby. A lot of people told me "Oh, men can have bad reactions to pregnancy, just give him time" ... but in my experience that is absolute bullshit. If a guy reacts that way initially, he's probably going to continue that way. And keeping around those negative emotions when you're pregnant is just not healthy. If he's reacted this way already, I don't see any reason why you should count on him being around. And if you want to raise the baby on your own, do so, but make sure you have an amazing support network and friends and family to help. My advice to you is to go try to smooth things over with your family. You will need them no matter what. Also, what lawsuit are you referring to? For child support?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Please just try to get some counseling, whether from a therapist, a clergyman or even planned parenthood. This forum is filled with people who might have escaped a lifetime of pain if their parents had taken their responsibility seriously.

I wish you and your child the best of luck.

 

[Deleted member 35737]

Mmmmm....I think you should listen to your friend, because she is the only helping hand for you right now, other wise you might even loose her.