My veteran started therapy after his breakdown at the end of July. We haven't talked much since but I texted him to let him know it's okay to reach out so that I know his heart is still with me, he replied back and said "honestly I've been happier not having been with you, I haven't had a temper in weeks". I haven't replied because I didn't want to start an argument or stress him out, I just didn't see me responding being helpful. I wanna know how I can text him about mycombatptsd.com and tell him about it? I doubt therapy talks about how to maintain a healthy relationship living with PTSD, but I think the site would help him in all aspects. Any suggestions?
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Relationship Need Advice From Sufferers
- Post starter JM318
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i am so sorry he said that to you. Sounds to me like he would not be receptive to anything you say at the moment, and I hope that you will take really good care of you at the moment and not worry about him. I understand how you want to comfort him and help him but until he learns how precious you are, he will not be hearing or seeing you with any understanding or comprehension in my opinion. It sounds like he is either scapegoating you or blaming you for something.
Go ahead and create a good life for you if you are able to at this time. I realize how much you love him, that is so obvious to me. That was a really hurtful thing he said to you and does not make any sense. What on earth caused him to say such a thing to you. I do not fell sorry for him at all. He is being cruel to you at the moment and lashing out at you in my opinion.:hug:
Go ahead and create a good life for you if you are able to at this time. I realize how much you love him, that is so obvious to me. That was a really hurtful thing he said to you and does not make any sense. What on earth caused him to say such a thing to you. I do not fell sorry for him at all. He is being cruel to you at the moment and lashing out at you in my opinion.:hug:
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- #3
I had a feeling he was lashing out, that's why I didn't respond. We've been together for 2.5 years and his symptoms have gotten worse without treatment and he realizes that and therapy was a huge step for him. I think I'll hold off on telling him about the site and continue to give him space. Thanks for your kind words.
Joanna xox
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Deleted member 12723
You are welcome.:hug:
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- #5
I think he is in a safety bubble because he hasn't talked to his mother about anything either. He did go out with a few of our friends last night and seemed to have fun. But last weekend he was with friends and they told me he seemed to be in a funk. So maybe yesterday was just a good day for him who knows. I wonder if I come up in therapy at all, I'm sure eventually but he is only a few weeks in......
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- #7
He has said some hurtful things in the past but I've learned not to take it all personally. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if there is any truth in what he says. He says things by how he is feeling in the moment, and doesn't judge the situation by anything else. He always seems to come back when he is ready and he tells me he is scared to spiral backwards. He has told me how he feels for me, and more importantly his actions (his non-PTSD self) show me how he truly feels. I miss him playing with my hair when we are having a one-on-one conversation and how in the middle of yard work, he'll dip me over and lay a kiss on me. It's hard not to let go of our genuine playfulness and sincere love for each other, and it does break my heart when he says things like this because I know he doesn't mean it. I'm just biting my tongue and hoping for the best. I hope therapy helps him, I don't want all of this push-pull to keep happening, at least not as often as it has. I understand he will always live with this but I just want some sort of stability and understanding in our relationship again.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think sometimes it's hard to talk to those who care about us because ultimately they just want us better. I don't know if its that way for him. He has to find himself again. Let the advice come from his counselors. Just let him know you care and are there. At some point though, if it's abusive behavior, you have to set boundaries for yourself.
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- #9
I hope he has a good therapist :( Not much faith in the VA
Hmmm..... Yes, I've heard that. Keep being supportive and I hope you are finding support here. Sorry I'm not much help.
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- #11
No you are being helpful. I have a therapist I see too. Just gotta keep faith that things will turn around.
I'm glad you have someone too. What advice has your therapist offered?
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