and he knows that if he gets the urge to see others he is not for me.
^He's still mentioning his urges and other women. If he is convinced that he wants you and you will not tolerate him seeing other women then yeah... what's with the talking about other women? That would piss me off no end. I mean he's either all in (to you) or he's not. There simply isn't anything to be gained by raising his attraction to other women. It must hurt you butterfly.. does it?
in order not to become too involved because then his CPTSD flares up.
^Ok granted relationships can put sufferers under stress but a lot of the time relationships also
stabilise and assist sufferers. Having a relationship is not negative unless the relationship itself is somehow flawed or at least not stable. Or the parties to the relationship are not fully committed for other reasons.
I'm sorry I don't accept that he cannot commit bc his ctpsd flares up. If he was in therapy, completely committed to you (and no other) he'd be hanging onto you and asking you to at least wait until he gets himself together and letting you know how much you mean to him. He'd value what you bring to his life.
but relationship scares him because he is surviving on a day to day basis...which most sufferers do.
^Not so true. But maybe for this man and it doesn't have to be that way forever either.
Sure relationships are scary but they are for everyone particularly if they are new and very much valued.
Many sufferer's are high functioning, motivated people who manage their ptsd very well. Some are not but we are not all the same.
Relationships can be a blessing for a sufferer. If he's suffering so much on a day to day basis even the very idea of hanging out with other females that he's admitted he's attracted to probably wouldn't be something he'd be doing, thinking about or even telling you about - would he?
For someone that is apparently just managing, the
other women issue certainly is a big and unnecessary complication to his life. The keep it simple rule is very high up there when one is going from one day to another and just getting by.
He is not a cheater...never has been.
^Not saying he is. But bringing other people into the relationship, making deals & agreements with past and present partners... talking about how he cannot be a one woman man etc., that's not a monogamous thinker either, is it?
If he was a cheater he would not have told me that at one point he will likely want to be with somebody new...he knows that pushes me away and makes me not want to be with him.
^That is such a weird way of distancing oneself from someone he apparently likes or loves... isn't it? I mean why does he use the prospect of 'other' women to scare you, or put you in your place? Why not be a grown up and say he's not ready for a full on commitment without using the spectre of other women as a potential reason. Remember he's an adult here...
For sure if you had not already had a relationship with him for two years... I could see a bloke saying, 'hey I'm not into being committed to one woman right now..." But that's not the case here. For the life of me, I cannot understand how you can not be hurt by his reasoning. I know you care for him but again, I say you are way too good for this bloke. I really think he is a bit of player under that ptsd...
I am convinced that he has commitment issues...that he will feel trapped and he is definitely not ready for a relationship and is likely to stay single always due to PTSD.
I"m certain you know him very well but I'd be wary of attributing his lack of commitment to you (or anyone else)
solely due to ptsd. For sure he's got some issues but anyway... why worry about what they are if you have stepped away from him. Whatever his reasons they seem to be sufficient for you to know that he's not going to be able to give you what you need and I, for one, don't blame you one little bit.
I hope you find someone who can truly commit to you and give you back as much care and love that clearly you want and are capable of giving.
All the best. :)