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- #85
Butterfly64
Silver Member
He stayed with his ex for seven years....she had big mental issues as well as problems with her stomach...and they had sex about four times a year because of her issues...he stayed anyway. He stayed monogamous when he was with her for seven years.Gently I say @Butterfly64 , therapy for ptsd doesn't necessarily eradicate or hone commitment or maturity. In fact, I would guess amongst other things one needs more commitment to therapy to get one's rear there. Would he stay with you if you couldn't make love? What if you were together and then you got ill? Etc.
Because I'm sure it's not the case, but right now it's sounding more like a booty call, and they are as common as blades of grass. (And I've never known any guy (personally) who pushes constantly for sex who has ever given up. There's one I see at work who pushes it every tuesday (seriously), and another it's been more than a decade and he sometimes texts me as though he's texting someone else; only after the 1st time or two I realized he hadn't made a mistake/ wrong contact. But I don't see it as their attraction to me, or my value to them. It's just trying to get their needs met. At my expense if I'm not agreeing).
And I don't think it's very thoughtful of your feelings to speak as you have described he does. But if he said he doesn't think he can be faithful or monogamous- ptsd or not, believe him.
He has said some pretty awful things for sure when he was triggered by my pushing him and I don’t want him now, but I have known him for six years and I see him around his friends and family and he is actually a very loving, caring and giving person...all his friends come to him for advice. I know him really well and I know he is crazy about me....as I said earlier, it would be so much better for his mental health if he just had a friend with benefits...no strings attached, no expectations, no tiresome discussions...but he only wants me even though he knows it ends up in tiresome discussion about lack of intimacy. The fact is that before May when I dumped him, I hadn’t found this Forum and I didn’t know how CPTSD rips people apart and each time he opened up to intimacy and relationship, I pushed him too hard...that is why he mentioned other women. He wasn’t interested in anyone in particular...he was interested in not being with me anymore because I pushed him too hard constantly....but he couldn’t let go of me and I genuinely believe he tried to push me to end us using the only thing that would work... talking about other women
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