Why Do Women Hate/dislike Each Other??

[lostforgottensoul]

'girls' aren't at all universally into pink colored things.

Agreed! I hate pink! Im also in IT (most dont see females as the "geeks" and most guys that call in want a guy because "females dont know this stuff" :shifty: wanna bet?) I love beer. And tailgating. I loved climbing trees when i was growing up and am the orginal tomboy. I dont do my nails or my hair. I dont wear makeup and only have 3 pairs of shoes. I dont do "girly things", usually "one of the guys" and i hate pink!

There was a heterosexual guy on Dr Phil that wore pink, did his nails, had to have his hair perfect, and did designs (that had to be perfect) in his facial hair. He said he spent a minimual of 3 hrs in the mirror.

Im ready for work in 30 mins which includes coffee before and my shower.

I suspect you're intimidating without realizing it. That invites competition and nastiness in women.

I fully agree with this statement, 100%

Today i send out a non-verbal statement of "dont look at me and GO AWAY!" Because im terrified they will hurt me. @J_trustno1, Maybe you're non-verbal statement is simular or maybe it feels, to them, like you are judging them, and then they stay away because they feel judged?

A lot of our messages to other people are no verbal. Its why people like to "people watch". Try to think of all genders nutrual if possible. Both equal, not one better and not one with more something then the other (as in reality, what you can say about females a ton of males possess as well), and try to take each women as an individual.

I know its hard when you've been hurt! :hug:

 

[joeylittle]

The only people I talk to are my lecturers and that is only regarding my study work, my counselor regarding my issues and my mum n brother about general stuff. I don't feel good anymore. I don't know what I have done wrong to attract this kind of behavior from people

You need to get into different environments, @J_trustno1. Do they have things like MeetUp in NZ?

 

[Changing4Best]

I have had women friends in the past and I have some today too, but you are right in one way, it is usually that they can get something from me that makes them my friend. Either that or they liked my dog, or they liked my husband and put up with me or once in a great while, I have had some women friends that seem like real friends. Sometimes, though, it is because I need something from them! Like, since I don't drive and have no car, if I need a ride, I either have to take the bus or I need to get a ride. I don't ask MEN for rides, because they would get the wrong idea, I think. So I usually ask women for rides, or I walk, or I take the bus or I don't go.

Sometimes I have women friends that I have something in common with, like we are both widows. Sometimes I am a good listener (often I am) and so I tend to get women friends who like to TALK. I listen endlessly. I learn things, or I just enjoy the story, whatever it is about. I love stories, and at our age (lets just say older than 60) we have endless stories to share. I like to hear stories, but I tell some of mine too, if something someone says reminds me of something. However, generally, I am the listener. I guess folks like that. You know, we pay therapists to do that! So when someone does it for free, wow, you know?

 

[Mach123]

I have had so many women say to me "I just really prefer the company of men" lol. Of course you do, for the same reason I prefer the company of women. The opposite sex has built in forgiveness (or blindness?) for the opposite sex. Otherwise the human race would've died out long ago. All you can do is laugh. I'm not very bright but that I understand. Forgive me for laughing with you not at you. Thanks for your post.

 

[J_trustno1]

@FattyZ , I never said I "prefer the company of men". I don't have any company. Please read the thread carefully before making a remark. Thanks

 

[BlueDream]

I think having a narcissist as a mother set me up to fail with female friendships. I think I had to have known on a subconscious level at least, that I couldn't trust her because she wasn't saving me from the abuse that was happening. I'm sure feelings of betrayal crept in at an early age. I really find it easier to have friendships with men, for the most part there is no bs drama, and I find I have more in common with them.

 

[J_trustno1]

@BlueDream, I can relate to you. I was physically abused by my mother, my female cousin, then my mum's sisters, not any trustworthy friends. Now I feel that I am a lonely soul in this world who cannot trust anyone. I can't even trust men because I have been sexually, physically, verbally and emotionally abused by men. So the world is pretty much a mystery for me where "no friends" exist at least in my case.

 

[BlueDream]

I was abused by men as well during my childhood. Maybe I think it's easier to read men, and what they are looking for in me. (Usually is only a few things)
It's hard for me to tell why women are interested in wanting to know me. And in my experience with my mother, it was never anything that benefited me.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have a truckload of negative experiences with both genders. I also have positive experiences with both genders.

My experience is that gender essentialism "I don't get along with girls because I don't like pink" means that you are not looking at folks as complex beings who can connect with you on some level and when you try to pigeonhole people they rebel. (I also have never found that I've gotten along with a single woman who spends a lot of time talking about how she gets along with men better than women... I don't think that's on me.)

Also, if you perceive people as threatening and about to hurt you... they will. Which isn't to say that if you expect people to not hurt you that they never will. People are complicated and awful and terrible and wonderful.

I don't think it is an age thing. Old folks are as catty and evil as young people. These trends haven't actually changed in generations. You can find good people in any age group. I'm 35 and I have a lot of younger friends because I was a high school teacher and many of my students want to stay in my life--students of both genders.

Making friends is hard because it involves dealing with the fact that people will hurt you. Even the best friend in the world is going to say things that suck and you have to figure out how to talk about it. I'm a very overly sensitive person. I get butthurt over the smallest things. So I spend a lot of time saying, "Ok I understand that I might be oversensitive here, but I perceived _______ as having hostility. Was I right or am I misperceiving?" Once in a while I get burned by a manipulative person but more than 75% of the time someone says, "Oh no! My tone of voice sucked because of (unrelated thing) and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

Clarifying questions are why I have lots of friends. Otherwise I would assume everyone in the world hates me.

Having friends is hard work. But I persevere because I'm so desperately lonely without them.

 

[Mach123]

@FattyZ , I never said I "prefer the company of men". I don't have any company. P...

I never attributed any remarks to you, and why you think I didn't read the thread carefully I don't know. I'm sorry you did not like what I said, it was not unkindly meant. (why would anyone say anything unkind in a place like this?) That's the problem with posting. (Come to think of it that's the problem with trying to deal with anyone lol) Normally I would not have said anything else but it's your thread. I'll delete the comment if you prefer.

 

[BlueDream]

Why would anyone say anything unkind around here lmao, ppl just reinforce their own issues by pushing them off on someone else, in the most condescending way possible, in a lot of cases. It gets old.....