Body Image

[Snowflake]

How has your body image been affected by your abuse? Does it cause triggers with bathrooms, showers or baths, or how you dress?

 

[CptPirate]

No now i dress, but i have dysmorphia which mean i dnt see how i actually look, i just see only the abuse all the time when i see mirror. On this level it has effect how i see myself.
I do have issue in shower too, i do it mostly closed eyed.

 

[Crow]

I struggle with bathing. Always have. Traditionally I've worn a size or two too big clothes. I'm starting to wear form fitting clothes, shorts, shirts with short short sleeves, etc. Way back i couldn't wear sandles. Haven't had a hair cut in 8 months. So my pixie is approaching my shoulders. Finally got the courage to get a cut by a new stylist this weekend. My old one was pushing color. Scared me away. Makeup is a no go unless I put in exceptional effort and energy. Still have panic attacks shaving my legs. I've just recently been able to accurately see how large I am. So yeah. The abuse f*cked up my body image and ability to self care.

 

[Friday]

Probably not in the way you mean, but yes, mad issues with body image. Far more issues with functionality. From both my big bad trauma stuff (not abuse), and later abuse.

 

[Snowflake]

Probably not in the way you mean, but yes, mad issues with body image. Far more issues with functionalit...

Hmmmm I wonder what you think I mean????? Lol and what you mean????? Lol

 

[PTSDisweird]

How has your body image been affected by your abuse? Does it cause triggers with bathrooms, showers...

I never really liked my body, in fact since I was a child I remember hating a lot of parts of it, like my face, my knees and my legs. But not all the time, just some times and I would say those times were rare. But I had signs of negative body image since then. After my trauma, in my mid teenage years, my body image issues grew severely and as the years kept passing they became an issue, meaning I can be diagnosed as full body dysmorphic (not officially diagnosed). So yeah, even though I never really liked my body, trauma exaggerated the body image issues to the point they became a problem for sure. Don't know if it's the kind of answer you are looking for though. :)

 

[Snowflake]

I grew up thin and underweight. I was sexually abused terribly. Now I am not thin-far from it. (Not overly fat either) But no one will sexually touch a fat woman like me-not even my husband.

I still feel and smell "stuff" on me. I still see cig burns on my skin. I hate showers, hate looking at my damaged body. My body aches a lot -legs especially-I remember kicking a lot or having them held down by their arms or their body.

So many reasons to hate my body.

 

[PTSDisweird]

I was thin and underweight as a kid and teen too. I am not fat now, my body type is such that I can't get fat even now that I don't take care of my diet and I don't excercise. I have a belly though, which except the fact that is unattractive, is very unhealthy too. Luckily I never self harmed like burning or cutting, but still I hate my body. I hate my height, 5'7-ish without shoes which for a greek isn't even that short, I hate my hair, my body hair, even my penis sometimes, which is slightly above average (lol) among my friends at least. I don't bath sometimes because I hate my body so much that I don't want to "invest" in bathing it.

About fat women, well, I personally find curvy women with some extra weight attractive. I don't like thin girls. Many men I know don't like thin girls too, to be honest the majority of them. So yeah, because we see our bodies like walking trashcans, doesn't mean everybody else sees them the same way.

 

[Snowflake]

Thank you @PTSDisweird

 

[joeylittle]

I can't look in a mirror, and if I accidentally see myself, I have a bad response (I identified with your other thread about this issue, @Snowflake). I haven't been able to get my hair cut in a long while (I'm trying very hard to work up to doing it myself). Showering is hard - I can't stand to be with my body. Some of it is related to weight, but I've come to realize that some isn't, it's related to trauma-thoughts.