Childhood If You Were Big/strong/powerful Enough To Hit Your Abuser Back, Would You Have?

[Stickler]

BTW, mafia, we like you lots. You're a good egg.

 

[Eagle3]

Actually, I asked for the last beating I got at the age of 18. I just thought I needed to pay for screwing up, so I asked for it. It was soon after going through even worse hell and learning i actually HAD to defend myself if i wanted to survive that I learned to do just that. Now, my mom is too scared to raise a hand to me, even in play, since I've spent the last 11 years studying very brutal Martial Arts.

My last instructor turned out to be an emotional abuser too, but there were times he got a little physically abusive as well (hard to tell when you're training in a brutal art...). I never had the mental ability to retaliate physically, although he was scared of me. He knows in the right circumstances, i can do a lot of damage. But I had a total crush on him, so I couldn't do it. However, i learned to verbally stand up for myself and tell him to stop <whatever> nonsense he was engaged in. That assertiveness training was vital.

If I had been able to fight back against an abuser who WASN'T a parent, I would not have. Cultish brainwashing took care of that. Now, I'll beat the snot out of anyone who threatens me in any way.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

If you asked me that 100 times, then 100 times the answer would be YES!

 

[Deleted member 33052]

One of my alters went up to stab my dad in the chest when he was asleep. We were 6.
I only rece...

That's really cool, stick! At that age, I knew something was wrong, but I thought it was my fault.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I did, when i was 14, my mom was pounding closed fist on my back, me in the fetal postion protecting my head on the floor. After what seems like forever when she stoped, i saw red, didnt know what i did until it was over. I hit her in the eye, broke her glasses which cut her just a millimeter from her eye...and then i ran. Got punished later, badly.

And i dont feel one lick of sorry for it either!

 

[Deleted member 33052]

My physical abuse ended when I was around 17 (I moved out). As tough a kid as I was, I was no match for either of my parents, who had uncontrollable (I think - I hope) rage on their sides.

 

[Stickler]

That's really cool, stick! At that age, I knew something was wrong, but I thought it was my fault.[...

I blamed myself for atleast parts of it up until a few years ago, though.

Shawn held the anger and the knowledge that they were dangerous.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Was Shawn the fearless protector, @Stickler?

 

[Mafia_Science]

BTW, mafia, we like you lots. You're a good egg.

Thanks, Stickler. I can't tell you how much that means to me :hug:

 

[Mafia_Science]

@Mafia_Science

Those are surface reasons.

Are you willing to go deeper?

Why did you...

I've been thinking about this a lot today. The truth? I think I actually loved her, even though I told/tell myself I'll leave her when I get the chance, and never come back. The even worse truth is that she still hits me and I still don't do anything about it.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I've been thinking about this a lot today. The truth? I think I actually loved her, even though I...

Mafia :hug:

I wish you had a mom who adored you. You deserve that.

 

[XXbabydollXX]

The abuser was my mother. I was taller and stronger than her by the age of 13, but the abuse cont...

If I had the strength I would love to get back at my abusive father.