Cps Called On Me B/c Mental Health

[trying2movefwd]

I had a friend call CPS on me because my house was very messy and Seriquil had me sleeping almost all the time. off of it now. I have been dx'd with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, severe recurrent major depression...I am beside myself scared to death! My house is much cleaner, but i can't seem to stop shaking due to nerves and i have vistiril! !! I am almost constantly in tears. I met with them already. They will be coming unannounced about 4 times a month! I have to take parenting classes. Ugh this is not even the beginning of my problems. I am not a drug addict nor an alcoholic. I have severe aversion's to such things and they cause horrible flashbacks!!! How is this fair?!?! I know I am a good Mom. If my kids end up taken away from me I will have nothing to live for. :(

 

[trying2movefwd]

I do have a hard time keeping a clean house though. Im getting better.

 

[trying2movefwd]

And I am too unstable being in and out of hospital

 

[Snowflake]

Sometimes it's not fair. Be thankful your children were not removed it takes forever for them to be returned. I work closely with cps and DSS. My advice is "kiss ass". Cooperate, do as they ask and it will be over sooner than later.

Also get support to help you through this. It's not fun and it's stressful for everyone. I am a parenting educator and I go into homes with those similar to your situation. I am an asset to parents IF they are doing well and doing what they need to do. Let them know about your meds-let them call your therapist. Cooperate. Don't let them see you fall apart. Also, If your environment is unsafe or your really struggling is there someone who can stay with you or watch your kids till your feeling better?

Hang in there.... Thinking of you.

 

[Abstract]

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry for all you are suffering. I hope you don't mind me saying this but if the house hit a certain level of hygiene issues and "Seriquil had me sleeping almost all the time" then it would have been impossible for you to be caring for your children adequately. I realise you need your children (as you say) but I think you also need to think of what is right for them. You don't mention too much about them. How many children do you have and what are their ages?

I realise this is very hard for you. Maybe try to think of this as CPS helping you to put the structure in place so that you can provide a stable enough environment for you to keep them. They don't tend to want to break up families and are rather more interested in making things work enough for all parties (if they are doing their job properly). Personally I am grateful that I didnt have children as there have been times that I can't imagine being well enough to do what I would have needed to do for them.

Its good you have been properly diagnosed now as that can help you get the right help and healing that you deserve.

 

[Ka-9]

Hey trying..... these guys have no legal right to harass you simply because you suffer a medical condition/disability, at least up here, But as Snowflake said, they can follow up to a reasonable degree- so don't overthink it all, it won't be complicated or lengthy I'm sure.

I'd just make sure all your ducks are in order, get reasonably organized, even have your doctor prepare a simple note explaining that fatigue/ having to re-charge due to PTSD is not neglectful, it's just reality- no different than if you had to endure chemo for cancer. But I agree...appease them, be calm, and bombard them with simple, clear facts that you have the kids lives all in order....rehearse and repeat it all back to them.

 

[Stickler]

I don't think it's fair.

I have family who manage to combine utter slobbishness with pretty happy and well-adjusted kids. The house is a WRECK. But the kids are well fed and reasonably sane.

It's not ideal, but it's not to the level of "kids need to be taken away," not by a longshot.

I wonder if there are any church or nonprofit groups that might help you.
Other than that? Toss out any clutter that makes it less easy to clean.

The kids can help, probably need to be trained to, as there's five of them and one of you.

BUT you need to train them using *only positive reinforcement.*
I think this would work?
Basically, if they do a bad job, you praise their hard work...and go back and fix what they didn't get.
If they actually do it RIGHT, even more positive reinforcement.

Had my mom done this she could have slowly and pleasantly trained me into doing almost all of her housework, just the way she wanted it, by the time I was 9 or 10. I just wanted her approval.
(As it was she was really looking for excuses to take her crappy feelings out on us. When one of my alters figured that out, we collectively just egged her on until she hit us and screamed. Once we got it out of the way for that day we could then go to our room and do really warped stuff with Barbies or whatnot. We were disturbing kid(s).)

You just CANNOT get angry at them for doing chores slowly and badly...like a little kid. You CAN gradually raise the expectations you have for giving the EVEN MORE positive reinforcement, as the child acquires skill (A kid should always feel loved no matter what).

If they get resentful, ask them why, because that actually may be a problem. I don't think it will work if they resent it.

Not saying its' 100% a guarantee, but little kids will do lots of stuff just for approval.

Older kids...dunno. At some point the ship has sailed. Might be easier to just pay them by chore, if you can.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I have two children. Ages 8 and 6. First and Second grade. They are being taught that I am reinforcing the rules... only three toys out at a time, No more (friends come over to play ) when done they put it back. They must eat at the kitchen table, no where else!.. unless we are out of course, they must put dishes in the sink, rinse them and throw all trash away... they must make their beds in the morning after they wake up. We all take turns vacuuming, and take turns cleaning bathrooms. I clean the litter box daily and change it every other day. Those are the cleaning rules that have to be enforced. Yes on the seriquil the kids fended for themselves a lot, it was summer so there wasn't even school...and my house made my lack of energy show.

 

[Stickler]

Just...DO remember to praise and thank them a LOT.
Not just take their work for granted?
Tell them how much you appreciate and need their help in keeping the place clean.

Admittedly, they don't have a choice in *doing* it, and they are cleaning up after themselves, but they can make things WAY harder for you.
Praise and compliments on them doing it right is a way to defuse that.
Just saying.
My mom tried a battle of stubbornness with a 7-year old me when I realized there was no way to work my way out of getting smacked around and screamed at.
Guess who won. <points at self>.
But I lost a sense of my value beyond anything but a human frustration valve. Because obviously I was simply worthless at doing chores.

I know I'm looking at this through my own trauma lens. I may be completely off base here in your thread, and I apologize for that...
EDIT: scratch that, this ALMOST CERTAINLY does not apply to you, Trying.

My opinion is that if a family or a domestic partnership becomes a power struggle, everyone loses?
My mom lost. I lost.
Both of us lost a lot because she was taking her depression and anger out on me. I haven't really trusted her since.
I can't.:cry:

Anyway, I kind of think you aren't going to make that mistake, but...you know, being able to look back at the way my mom mishandled things so badly, it's just kind of...sad.
Frustrating.
I don't want others making the same mistake.

If nobody else learns what not to do from it, it was all as pointless as is feels to have been through that.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@trying2movefwd, from your threads it sounds like you were on seriquel immediate release, generic quetiapine; why not try Serquel XR, (extended release)no generic in the States, which made me sleepy for a week-ish but eventually didnt and i started lowest mg which for XR is 50mg and slowly titrated up.

Today, its not making me sleepy at all. Im on 200mg so i take it at night since i cant slpit it up and cant seem to get used to 200mg in the daytime yet but once i get more used to it i will try again but its built up in my system and helps in the daytime.

Its given to me for Borderline Personality Disorder and severe anxiety and it helps a ton. I can work while on it.

Hope this helps but im sorry CPS was called. I may have missed this but what happened? Did they just say clean up or what?

Sorry this happened! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 541]

This won't be popular with people but here goes.

At 6 & 8 yrs old I feel that their "chores" are not age appropriate. It's almost as if they have to help you clean the house. Not the job of children that age. Having them fend for themselves also isn't going to win you any points with CPS either.

I would suggest that you figure out the med issue and get your head out of your butt, you have 2 kids that need you, and if CPS does step in and take them.... Youre pretty much screwed.

 

[sedna]

I had a friend call CPS on me because my house was very messy and Seriquil had me sleeping almos...

Whats the basis for the parenting classes? Did they file a neglect report with their office, they cant just show up and ask questions then assign classes.
Did you know that you dont have to talk to them either?
Have you confirmed your friend called them and it wasnt schools neighbors etc?
Did you tell them your mental health diagnosis and medications already?

You dont have to answer any of that, if its not too late I can tell you what your rights are.