Cps Called On Me B/c Mental Health

[sedna]

Sometimes it's not fair. Be thankful your children were not removed it takes forever for them to be r...

Thats not always the case @Snowflake. I see your point and ideally everyone is doing the right thing, but when an initial call is made, and someone lets them in , they separate the children and ask a lot of questions about your situation, without mentioning you arent legally obligated to answer, if there is no immediate or apparent danger, they then have set the process of personal invasion by the county in motion.

Without a police officer with them, they have no right to interview or inspect the home unless you agree to it, most people dont realize that.

I'm all for Social Workers and some of my favorite peeps are in the field. But its not an automatic asset to have them involved either. Depends on a lot of different things.

 

[joeylittle]

I had a friend call CPS on me because my house was very messy and Seriquil had me sleeping almost all the time. off of it now.

I want to say that it was good that you called CPS - and also, to underscore that you made the decision to reach out to them, for anyone reading the thread who missed this fact. You were aware that you were overwhelmed, and you needed help.

Can you look to the friend who called for you to be a support system for you - perhaps going with you to the parenting classes?

They will be coming unannounced about 4 times a month! I have to take parenting classes. Ugh this is not even the beginning of my problems. I am not a drug addict nor an alcoholic. I have severe aversion's to such things and they cause horrible flashbacks!!! How is this fair?!?!

You don't have to be a drug addict or an alcoholic to need help being a single parent. You must remember that they are there to help you, and it's help you asked for. You aren't being gone after or penalized - but, it may have been surprising to you to learn that this is what happens. Keep reminding yourself, that it's a structure that is there to help you stay on track.

If my kids end up taken away from me I will have nothing to live for. :(

This is not a useful or helpful thought, at all, and you need to practice re-directing it whenever it comes up.

I'm gonna be straight with you - your kids are young to fully grasp what's going on with you, and you and them have had a lot of upheaval over the last year, if I'm remembering right, in getting away from your ex. Is anyone (your therapist, or maybe pediatrician) giving you help/guidelines on how to talk with them about this stuff, in a way that helps them understand but doesn't put too much stress on them to be the ones running the household?

I want to be clear - I am not saying you are a bad parent. What I'm saying is that you have a very full plate, and it is absolutely human to be struggling with these things.

When you were inpatient recently, who took care of the kids for you?

 

[Abstract]

I think I understand what you are saying. You are saying that before CPS stepped in your children were left to fend for themselves and the house had declined into a mess. That now you have these new structures in place. If you are honest here then would you say them intervening has helped you get things back on track?


I think we could all probably benefit from parenting classes. I hope it can give you some support and help. I know a couple of people who have done them by choice and they found them v useful.

PS I did totally misread that about you asking your friend to call CPS. I am sorry. You were very brave to do that.

 

[Stickler]

...I could have done the chores my mom wanted at 6, I just could not do them *to her standards*, which were totally unrealistic.

Kids won't do it to adult standards. You kinda have to praise them anyway. They'll do it better as they go, over time, because they are still learning motor co-ordination stuff.

My therapist told me that it was not appropriate to make a 6 year old do housework...I do actually disagree.
I think it's probably a bad idea to expect a little kid to work longer than 20 minutes at anything, and they won't do a good job on the chores.
They just won't, don't expect it.
Part of the point is to get them doing chores, period.

I think folding towels or rinsing plates is do-able for a 6 year old. They won't fold the towels uniformly or get the crud off uniformly. That needs to not be even mentioned at first.

Complicated chores or ones involving heavy lifting are right out.

I AM going to agree on She Cat for one item:

Having kids vacuuming if they have not got the size and strength to handle a full-size vacuum cleaner comfortably is probably bad.

I DO remember trying to angrily and painfully wrestle this huge hulking vacuum cleaner around to make the parallel lines mom demanded in the carpet...and she wanted the floor vacuumed twice, first one way and then in the perpendicular direction. The thing probably weighed about half or more of my weight and was as tall as me.
The thing was totally oversized for my body.
That was just ridiculous of her.

I think one of these is more kid-friendly:
Dead Link Removed
(Hell, I would use one of those! I think I need one, I'd be willing to run that thing over the floor way more than the OMG-it's-clogged-again vacuum.)
Either that or a mini, cordless vacuum? A light one.

Making beds actually increases the population of dust mites in the bedding, but it'll make the CPS people happy. :meh:

 

[trying2movefwd]

I am in no way OCD(probably part of my problem) @Stickler ...and my kids have arguments over vacuuming. I actually "go over it" once they are done. ;)

 

[trying2movefwd]

Meaning they argue who gets to vaccum

 

[trying2movefwd]

The case worker met me in the hospital. There was no police officer with her. I got off of seriquil so i wouldn't be sleeping so much. I admitted myself to a hospital for help with it... to the person who told me to get my head out of my "ass"...I have already, Thank you! !!
Yes, she knows all of my diagnosis', she knows that I was compliant because my LISW in the hospital was with me during my appointment. It irks me! People in my neighborhood are drug addicts who let their kids run around the neighborhood doing God knows what. My kids have boundaries and everything. They know they have to stay in front of our apartment and not cross the parking lot, they cannot play in the parking lot and can only go to where I can see them out the window while they play. Im probably the strictest Mother in the neighborhood aside from one other, but because my house was a mess.. no feces or anything! My Aunt was over too at the same time as friend. She says friend over reacted. Friend took pictures and showed CPS. @Stickler is this legal? I was just addmitted to hospital. Friends biggest complaint was that my kids had toys on stairs. A toy box at the bottom of stairs is where toys should have went.I had a sing full of dirty dishes, i had two lau dry baskets that were overturned. . My kids did have food, baths, bed times. ONCE i fell asleep before them for the night. Typing this is just triggering. ..maybe I am a bad person, maybe I just flat out do not deserve life?! :( maybe my kids do deserve better. I wish someone could hold and hug me. But thats just not my life. Sorry. I need to get to bed. Night all. Thanks for replies and listening and trying to be honest with me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I did totally misread that about you asking your friend to call CPS. I am sorry. You were very brave to do that.

I did as well, altho Im still wondering if XR would work better?

Either way, you are a brave soul that knew when you had too much on you. In my opinion, that makes you a great parent! :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@trying2movefwd, dont let anyone get to you. It takes guts to admit you are overwhelmed and I have NO idea what id do if I had kids right now. I cant seem to get up to do laundry and push myself to work. I dont see you as a bad parent. Everyone can get overwhelmed and it takes a great person to admit that and ask for help!

 

[Abstract]

I think I understand the situation now @tryingtomoveforward . I totally agree that a sink of dirty dishes and the rest has no impact on your children at all and does not in any way comment on your parenting. It sounds like your friend totally overreacted. I think some people are obsessive about these things and it does feel like the end of the world to them. When you said you were sleeping most of the day I got a very different impression of what was happening. It sounds like you were supplying all they needed despite all else. Food love some attention some structure. All the things children need. I personally think its close to a miracle to manage all that. You should be proud. As I said before - there have been many times when I don't think I could have done so.

I'm really sorry if writing this made things worse. It's normal that people on here would want to know more about how your children were doing in this (so many people with bad experiences themselves) but I can see how it would be really hard having those questions asked. Personally I always like to know more and try not to make too many assumptions one or the other until I do.

It sounds like you fight really hard to be a good mother and when dealing with impossible amounts of stress. I can see why it would be enormously upsetting and offensive to feel you are being policed and questioned. Not good at sending hugs but shall send you comfort and calm instead. Try to use these people to get the extra resources and support. And remember they usually want to help the situation and arent there to penalise you. We all know there are masses of children out there slipping through the cracks but this isn;t about them. Hopefully someone will intervene if they see a bad situation.

What is the worst thing for you in this situation? Can you pinpoint it?

 

[trying2movefwd]

The worst thing in this situation would be losing my children. One I am borderline anyway so lonlieness is like 100 times worse than the "normal/typical baseline feeling" so to speak. Two: My Mom, Grandma,Grandpa, A Sister, My oldest daughter, My best friend(a cousin at that), My Stepfather have all passed on...
My x well he deserves what he has been getting. As he has sexual abuse charges against him. He was violent towards me and children*(trigger coming)*.. he became addicted to porn, ended up affecting the children . A story i care not to share. I was married to him 13 years before things escalated to the degree they did. Point being...a loss, a healthy loss, but still grieved me none the less.
Loss ...wow! Loss IS my biggest trigger. :cry:
I lost my innocence, my childhood, a lot of folks to death, most of all myself. I can't stand the thought of losing the two most precious people in my life. My children. I think I would probably dissacosiate to the end degree. I did with my first born. Anyway life gives me a lot of lemons. I have yet to discover how to turn them into lemonade. Good night.

 

[trying2movefwd]

P.S. i am now on Abilify.