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Derealization

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Daisy1234

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I have been in a state of derealization, 24/7, for about 3 months. This is not voluntary, it just started one day. It has become my new normal.

I am sort of concerned because periodically it starts first as itchy genitals, labia and above my clit. Then comes the vaginal pain. It is not a constant. Maybe I am just catastrophizing. I do not recall being sexually abused/raped. Maybe it is a medical problem/infection. I have not had sex in about six months. My ex admitted, not in so many words but I'm not stupid, that he cheated on me with a transexual prostitute (nothing against transexuals or prostitutes). Probably many others too. Could this be some kind of latent STI?

Obviously I need to have a doctor check this out. Sometimes the discomfort is severe, like right now. It is not constant? What am I escaping with this constant derealization? I am making an appointment with GP right now. It is probably just an infection. If it's an STD it will be all I can do to refrain from losing my cool with my ex. I have to really stick to NC though. Sorry if I'm sounding like a drama queen.
 
Your health is not drama. You're making the right moves. 6 months into a relationship I learned my SO was using IV drugs with dirty needles and had cheated all over town, unprotected. I know where you're at right now psychologically. Often times the shock can create symptoms, it certainly did for me. You could just as easily be experiencing a psychological reaction. You're doing the right thing, though, good on ya. Wishing you the very best. Strength and Honor.
 
If there is no history of sexual abuse, I think it very wise to call your primary (or ob if you have one). It's better to at least rule out STI's as a lot of them can get worse, effect more than just your "lady bits". I think if anything, knowing the cause would give you a peace of mind (and hopefully a respite from the pain that accompanies your other symptoms) x
 
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