I Am Too Much And Not Enough

[Justmehere]

I can't get past the feeling that I'm too much and never enough for anyone to really love, the real me, in a dating/romantic relationship. I can't even get myself to go on dates with anyone for the past 6 months because I know the questions and symptoms will surface and there are so many better people out there to date. So I always shut down at a certain point and now, I don't even see the point anymore. I can't drive due an eye condition/poverty and then throwing in PTSD... I can't get myself to do it, to go on any dates with anyone. My therapist encourages me to date but I don't know how.

I don't want to be alone the rest of my life and there isn't anything more I can do in terms of coping/managing my symptoms and getting treatment.

I don't want to be so stuck and so anymore. I can't imagine anymore what it would be like for me to be loved by a romantic partner.

I don't even know what I need in this moment.

 

[hodge]

JMH, you are a very lovable person and have lots to offer -- you are intelligent, thoughtful, empathetic, fun, and you have a great heart.

I feel for you. I haven't been in the dating scene for more than 20 years, so I don't know how helpful anything I can say would be, and I was lucky in that I got together with my husband before PTSD hit.

But, before PTSD hit I was looking for someone. I was depressed because I couldn't find anyone I wanted to date. I was out there -- in church, in social justice events that would more likely lead me to encounter like-minded men, or so I thought, but still, nothing. Most people at those events were women and priests and married men. One, a married pastor, took an interest in me, but I steered far, far away from him. Blah.

I wish I had something more helpful to say. :hug:s

 

[Deleted member 34328]

there isn't anything more I can do in terms of coping/managing my symptoms and getting treatment.

You sound very lonely and discouraged. A very difficult combo.
What do you mean by no more options for coping with your symptoms?

 

[Hope69]

Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I think the best way to feel lovable is to start by accepting yourself even the parts you wish weren't there. If you could change those things, you would , so you are doing your very best.
A wise therapist once told me (and I didn't listen but should have) that trust is a spiral. You risk a little and wait to see what comes back, if it feels right, you risk a little more, until there is a trust. It takes time to trust someone accepts all of you and you accept all of them, so its OK to go slow :)

 

[Abstract]

Agreed with Hodge. Maybe just take one step at a time. Leave others decisions up to them. Just be you and leave the rest to unfold organically. One thing you can count on with this stuff is that you will be seeing less of your worth than you have.

 

[Justmehere]

Thanks all for the support. I'm walking off some tears at the moment and will type more when I get home.

What do you mean by no more options for coping with your symptoms?

Good question. I mean that I have all the treatment that I can afford to get and there are not other options to employ more coping skills or more treatment. It's not possible for me to do more. The solution can't be for me to learn more coping skills or do more trauma therapy. It's being done and that's been the case for several years. I hope that clarifies what I'm trying to say.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

JMH - may I ask what type of coping tools you use that you find most helpful? What grounds you? What do you generally do when discouragement and depression hits really hard? What type of things do you enjoy doing - for yourself?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I can't get past the feeling that I'm too much and never enough for anyone to really love, the real me, in a dating/romantic relationship. I can't even get myself to go on dates with anyone for the past 6 months because I know the questions and symptoms will surface and there are so many better people out there to date. So I always shut down at a certain point and now, I don't even see the point anymore. I can't dri

I think you are a wonderful person and so wish you could see how wonderful you really are.

I think maybe you are just not ready to date yet because you have work to do on your self worth, in my opinion. I hear you and I can see that you may have reached an impasse at this point.

I wonder if you gave yourself a time out from dating to just take care of you if that would help. This is my thoughts and opinions and please toss if they are not useful.