Poll Do You Want To Hold, Or Be Held?

[Friday]

A friend and I were talking awhile back about desire, and I've been curious about an aspect of that ever since: For those of you with the impulse to be physically connected with someone, is your knee-jerk reaction / the desire of your heart; wanting someone to hold in your arms, or wanting to be held in someone's arms? Both? Neither? Something completely different? Exclusively one or the other?

I'm also curious if this is a vive la différence, so will attach an M/F/O (Male/ Female/ Oy! None ya business! Or Other) to indicate your own sex/gender on the first 2 options, but in the interest of saving space am leaving the other choices unspecified.

Thanks!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I selected two. I crave being held (f) but I dont want anyone to f*cking touch me. Its confusing for sure. Begging to be touched but to be terrified of it. Confusing for sure.

 

[aut555]

Don't really need to be touched. Surprisingly, but l like a massage for relief from working out at gym. Fussy about who is near me.

 

[NatBird]

Great question.

I'm someone that likes holding that can melt into being held - a mutual holding:)

I've been exploring this a little. There seems to be a fine line: if I am holding, pressing against too much I can feel guilt/shame. If I'm holding and the person isn't holding back to create a sense of balance I can feel abandoned or as though I am not there. If the other is holding or pressing against too much I just want to get away, not because I don't want the contact but I feel as if I'm water being soaked up by their skin - the disappearance thing again.

Lol, probably made no sense.

Anyway cheers @Friday

 

[Missycat]

Good thread @Friday
I chose 'both' but only if female - im a gay female in a civil partnership.
Men - stay away and the response would have been dont f**kin touch me lol

 

[expectingbetter]

I agree with @NatBird
Mutual holding is the best choice
I miss that mostly in my life and find it REALLY hard to get.
I even asked few times for and it is not a very good feeling when you have to ask for.

I hope in the future I will have somebody I could hold when ever I want and to be held beck :)

Excellent thread btw.

 

[Suzetig]

I've had a real longing to be held recently, I'm picking through very early childhood stuff in therapy and know the need is for comfort more than anything sexual or intimate.

 

[Eagle3]

I tend to be very selective about physical contact (ASD as well as PTSD), but lately I just want to be held and comforted in the way my parents never could when I was growing up. At the same time, there are days I just can't tolerate being touched. I'm female, so I chose wanting to be held (f) and don't effing touch me. It really sucks for any SO I team up with, they never know what kind of day it is unless they ask or I learn to ask (getting better at that).

 

[joeylittle]

I am definitively a 'both'. Just tactile, I guess.

 

[Naoru]

I do not want to be held or to hold anyone, SO or anyone else. Being held (or the threat of it) sends me right into fight or flight.

 

[Pixielicious]

I chose both. I'm a very touchy, huggy person,
But I hate 'group hugs' I run a mile when someone initiates this, same with a stranger trying to hug me *shudders*

 

[Gs172003]

A friend and I were talking awhile back about desire, and I've been curious about an aspect of that ever...

All of the above. Most of the time I'm not touchy feely. On occasion though, both.