What's So Bad About Self Harm?

[Sideways]

Plus, if you have people in your life who get 'bent out of shape' by your self-harm, it's an indication that you're lucky enough to have people in your life who care!!

 

[Sheera]

I always try and keep self-harm in perspective, because there are degrees. In the long run, the...

Thanks for the reminder that it's an addiction just like alcohol or drugs...

 

[Sheera]

That's better than cutting or scratching.

Are there certain things that will soothe you?[/QUOTE...

I've got fibro and arthritis I'm in tons of pain the only thing that really helps is to take control of the pain but at least the ice numbs it and hurts in a different way... I have a husband and a 4 year old son... I can't expect my son to understand but I wish my hubby would give me some slack here

 

[Sideways]

Thanks for the reminder that it's an addiction just like alcohol or drugs...

It really really is. It feels so right, so exactly what we need...in the moment. And then we need more. And then...

Some people are good with addictive substances, and if you can stick with ice, that's great. I couldn't, and yeah, I need to treat it like heroin.

 

[Sheera]

:(

 

[Heather]

I used to cut myself when I was younger ALOT. I have scars all over my arms. I don't know how to answer your question but I will tell you I was horrified to hear from my daughter (she's 12) that her seeing my scars makes her think about cutting herself.

You have a child correct? Just a thought.

 

[Sheera]

I used to cut myself when I was younger ALOT. I have scars all over my arms. I don't know how to answe...

Yeah... I have a son.. And i have a hard time explaining my scars.. It was easier when he was younger

 

[Heather]

I feel embarrassed by my scars because they are on my wrist and lower arms. Wearing short sleeve shirts...usually end up with silent stares from people.

No one can make you stop, that has to come from you. You need to find healthier ways of coping.

What made me stop was deciding I had enough scars and didn't want anymore. I also used to cut my face and am very lucky that I have no scars to show for it. I even had stitches on my faces cause the cuts were so deep.

 

[brae]

i use self harm in multiple ways and think a lot abt where it is exactly that ppls negative reactions come from. i feel like sometimes it comes from care and that people genuinely hav concern for our well being. but also yeh, like we are doing it for a reason, there is something abt it that is serving us and truly it is our responsibility to become aware when it is causing us more harm than good, when the addiction isnt serving us in ways that we might be ready to find new ways of coping. i feel like a lot of the time people hav trouble accepting others self harm simply because it makes them uncomfortable, wheter its because of the stigma and taboo around self harm and also potentially because it can be a mirror and a lot of people arent willing or ready to be facing their own unconscious shadows and darkness. i have problems with the concern coming from this place because to me it seems like a form of control and a lack of understanding/empathy for our coping mechanisms for extreme pain and distress. sometimes i struggle with other peoples self harm because i get triggered easily and it makes me want to self harm more, but i do really try not to project onto people and find other ways to cope w the triggers and understand why im being triggered, even if it is more self harm in private or something?

 

[Sheera]

i use self harm in multiple ways and think a lot abt where it is exactly that ppls negative reactions come...

I truly don't understand the censure from strangers I have lots of scars.. Pretty much everywhere.. Unless I wear a burka you're gonna see evidence of my stupidty.. I hate the 'looks' I get... I do my best to stick to areas where I am known and accepted which thankfully in my remote rural town isn't as hard as it would have been in a city

 

[EveHarrington]

People can be very judgmental. It sucks.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I wouldn't even say scars is what makes it a bad way to cope and why people care. Sure, I have 4 two inch wide scars on my upper arms that are raised and horrid looking. My thinking is the deeper the better = very VERY dangerous.

I also cut open healing ones to cut them open more and cut over old scars. It was also about to make myself the monster i felt i was/feel I am.

What makes it bad is that it is harming you. And you are important. Your well being is important. I also agree that people being mortified by it means they care about you and dont want you to be harming yourself.

Its a coping mechinism, yes, but not a good one. There are better ways. Do you have a therapist?

For me to stop i had to deal with why i was doing it. For others it was about force stopping. All are different but all of us had to find new coping skills.

One book that I found very helpful was the DBT workbook as it deals not just with the page on self harm but it gives me new tools when distress happens and when these emotional storms happen. That may be a good one for you.

Dead Link Removed

Either way, its bad because you are hurting you and you are important!

I was 3 months free of self harm. Relasp the other day and now counting days again. Its not an easy road to stop. We learned it stops the pain for a while and so sometimes we run back to what we know works. :hug:s from someone that gets it!