Depression, Safe Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@Blackjack , I am sorry to hear about your foot and ankle. I haven't had the same experience, but I have been so sick in the hospital that they wouldn't let me leave my bed without them knowing and coming to assist and that was really hard. I can only imagine what it's like being stuck the way you are. And on top of all your other stress, it's only reasonable that you feel, well, stressed-out.

I so want to help people, to support them, care for them but they won't let me.

Oh, and here's something I just thought of. This might not be the kind of help, support and care that you meant, but you're helping a lot of us on hear right now. You're giving us a chance to show our support to you and share in your experience which can relate to some parts of our own traumas. Also, you're helping a very important person, yourself, by posting these thoughts on here. Please keep reaching out.

 

[Tinyflame]

Nobody should be laughing at you @Blackjack . :(

I recall here a somewhat similar event in terms of some details, wherein some dumb-assed shrink said on the radio people who witnessed it would take 1 month to get over it. I thought, it took me a month to get over seeing dead baby bunnies the same, that I had unintentionally placed in harm's way. :( Foolish, ignorant comment, to that which is beyond comprehension.

The primary witness on the scene developed ptsd & died by suicide. Don't do that. Not everyone is ignorant, & I suppose it's others then who need your care & help. Make the first one you.

:hug::hug::hug:

 

[Enaila]

@Blackjack Have you let your treating doctor at the hospital know about how you are feeling? I know I have had reactions to the pain medicines after surgeries, which caused me severe depression and wanting to give up. Once they switched meds a few times, they found something which worked without the severe side effects. Let your doctor know.

You do have many of us who care about you. It does suck we can't be there visiting in person, but I hope you consider us friends still.

Did you get someone to draw and write on your cast? I am keeping you in my thoughts during this tough time.

@joeylittle thank you so much for your intervention on this thread!

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Blackjack]

Thank you so much everyone and my most humble apologies for my miserable thread last night. I was full of anxiety and not coping with anything. The hospital have given me some pretty good anti anxiety meds which are making me feel a lot calmer and better. Because I am calmer I am actually noticing the benefit of having the long leg cast on despite all my initial protests and the raised sling is reducing the swelling, so much so that my cast is now loose and being replaced in the morning.

Thank you so much for all your lovely kind and supportive comments, I really appreciate it greatly.

@joeylittle thank you so much for helping last night. I really did not need or felt up to dealing with those comments and questions. I truly appreciate your help and support

 

[Pixielicious]

@Blackjack
Glad the 'inner hurricane' has settled down for you (for now)
Please don't be ashamed of what you're going through or what you write when in 'flashback' mode
I have found that reaching out, asking for support, writing during my flashbacks, venting, opening up after a year of silence since my diagnosis, is saving my life.
I'm always shocked later to see what I've written when am in a bad way.... A tad embarrassed too *blushes" because I'm not used to asking for help or 'opening up' about my inner self.
But the truth is, because of this site and the people here, I have progressed from full blown suicidal/having a death wish to now wanting to take better care of myself and fight for the recontrol of my life.... I've been chirpy all day, very positive, zero triggers or flashbacks... But i know that maybe later, maybe tomorrow, I never know when, the 'hurricane' will overwhelm me again and when it does, I'm coming right back here to this site to write it out again. No matter how embarrassed I feel afterwards... :)
What you go through and write, helps me too, it makes me remember that I'm not the only human on this planet who has PTSD and is suffering. I don't feel so alone in my nightmares anymore, you know? So, thankyou :) :hug:

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Thank you so much everyone and my most humble apologies for my miserable thread last night.

Miserable threads are okay. I thought it was brave of you and helpful of you to share that tread last night. I always feel the need to apologize, but I see nothing that you need to apologize for.

Because I am calmer I am actually noticing the benefit of having the long leg cast on despite all my initial protests and the raised sling is reducing the swelling, so much so that my cast is now loose and being replaced in the morning.

What great news. I am glad that the swelling has reduced so much. That sounds like good progress in the healing department!

 

[sedna]

Sometimes, just considering eliminating the word 'should' (which is a cognitive distortion)...

How would Carl Jung handle having his leg encapsulated?

 

[Recovery4Me]

@coco9 I am unclear if your above post was rhetorical in muse, for my quote you included is not based on the modality of Jung but offered mainstream within CBT Therapy at this time.

*added smiley to show goodwill...:):hug:

 

[sedna]

:):) @Recovery4Me Im sorry, I have trouble keeping things making sense even more than usual when im on my phone instead of laptop.

Actually i was wondering how a person with 3 degrees in Jungian psychology would not be applying some kind of Jungian psychology to the leg cast anxiety.

But my Jungian theories are all vague ideas from Sting-
Who knows.

Sorry I misaddressed that post and hopefully person with leg encapsulation is feeling acceptance.:)

 

[Blackjack]

I am sorry but all of this Jungian psychology conversation is totally lost on me.....

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Blackjack In order to redirect the cross - conversations, what type of therapy besides physical does your T assist you with? Many trauma therapist have a favorite- such as my T likes DBT Dialectical behavior therapy - Wikipedia and Mindfulness Meditation.