Suddenly Feel Completely Normal

[Deleted member 35429]

I've been in therapy for PTSD for 10months. It's been very difficult. I dissociate every time I see my therapist and this causes me tremendous anguish for the days after. For me dissociation is like being paralyzed in a body that's reliving the trauma. I'm not numb at all, I'm reliving things forgotten.

Interestingly about 2 weeks ago this suddenly stopped and I feel very normal. I am not sure what to attribute this to but I feel so calm and normal that I can't imagine what to say in therapy or if I even want to risk getting retriggered again.

Anyone else have a sudden normal period? I feel like I've escaped a burning building.

 

[Gs172003]

I can't tell you why for you... But I'm glad!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Let's just hope it last!!!

 

[Kolten]

Oddly enuf i have just had this happen to me in some ways. I have spoken to my T Regarding how calm I am feeling and my wife has done the same because she cant even believe it. My wife told me about a week ago she saw "me" back in my eyes and in my actions and talk. She said Thats the first glimpse of who she had married yrs ago since my diagnosis and routine of episodes and chaos back 1.5yrs ago. Long story short it almost scared me when my wife was saying these things because I was feeling terrible anxiety at different points over last week due to things being so calm. I know it sounds stupid to think u would get anxious because ur environment is too calm. Her T said sometimes this can happen with PTSD where there are remissive periods and that having anxiety is normal when ur environment does a 180 either way. She also made a good point not to create chaos where there's calm right now because we are so used to living in a more chaotic environment that itd be easy to fall into that pattern and create it. Anyway all this is just food for thought I am not sure this post will necessarily be helpful to u but I hope it brings some perspective anyway :)

 

[Gs172003]

Oddly enuf i have just had this happen to me in some ways. I have spoken to my T Regarding how calm I am...

I'm glad you said that. I noticed that my brain works better when there is something to protect "from". My mind doesn't know what to do with calm.

 

[Kolten]

@Zoogal...I have been told by two T' s that the calm is actually harder to handle for PTSD patients when these periods of time occur or u go into longer remissions. Our brains have been trained to fight or flight all the time And it is extremely hard to say "no need to run or be scared...it's calm". Anyway I'm glad this helped gain perspective for u and remember don't create the storm out of the calm if u can help it :)

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal...I have been told by two T' s that the calm is actually harder to handle for...

Yeah it's odd. My brain will actually shut down somewhat during "calmer" times. I can't think straight and I can't function as well. I figured it out after I got in a fight with my husband and lo and behold I could think right again. Weird.

 

[Friday]

<grin> Absolutely :D

I love those days. And weeks, months, years. Hell, even the minutes and hours where it happens.

In my life it tends to come on like that. I'll have a few good hours. Then I'll have a few good hours most days. Then I start having a good day, or a good week. The good times gradually start becoming more regular, lasting longer, and happening more frequently. Then the good times start outnumbering the bad times, and it's the bad times that are the departure from the norm. Then the bad times start becoming rare, and I'm normal most of the time.

I take the rare good day in the middle of hard times like sunshine in winter. OMFG. Looooove. I take the increase in good times as a sign I'm starting the uphill climb out of hard times. Either way, Molto Bene. Whether a much needed break, or whether getting better. Love it.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, this has happened to me several times. And each time I get 'better' in some way over the long term.

I recall this happening two years ago and losing major reactions that were consistent for 7 years prior. lol. People had to point it out to me. They were amazed. And I was freaked out.

Like..... um..... where did it go? Where is it hiding?

BTW, for myself, I used these opportunities to do a little bit of exposure therapy. And I have learned to soak up the 'congratulations' from friends. lol. They still have to remind me of how it used to be and how it is now.

So.much.better. Enjoy!

 

[sun seeker]

When this happens to me, I find myself like a dog chasing its tail, trying to think what to do with the lull in symptoms while it lasts. "Oh, I should be doing this... no, I should be doing that... or maybe..."

I'm beginning to suspect it might be a better use of my time to do something fun, during those brief windows when I can. If I could only remember what I have fun doing. :confused:

Maybe instead of working on trauma, you could use this time to set up some self-care routines? Just a thought.

 

[EveHarrington]

Relish the feeling!

Live in the moment!

Enjoy!

:)