Workplace Challenges

[Freedomfighter]

How do most of you deal with dysfunctional people at the workplace?

I would really like to know because that is a very real challenge.

I am working with a group of people, females, that are definitely dysfunctional. There are several young females in that office who after some evaluation of mine are showing clear signs of absolute desperation. They bring their entire private life to work every day. They will stand around and talk and talk the whole day of their private lives, forcing me to listen to something I am not in the least interested in. Some of these young females have kids whose dads they see once a month, who sleep around with loosers and seek intense friendships with females because they attempt to desperately attach themselves to someone, anyone.
It is easy to tell, one in particular attempts to somehow convince me that she needs support from everyone, including me. This female is dumber than a brick, searches for smart words in the dictionary every night so she can use them at the office the next day. I loathe her, and yet she attempts to always get close. My only thinking about this is the fact that she is truly running out of options which many of her young counterparts are facing as well. Stuck with kids, and have to be frank here: sleeping around with total loosers in an attempt to get anyone to pay for kids that they are unable to feed. Her stupidity is connected to aggressiveness, forcefully attempting to get into my personal space at all costs. That is true desperation indeed.
How would you guys deal with that challenge?

Then we have a supervisor, elder female, who is always talking about herself, is in a marriage she would love to get out off and attempts to attach herself to successful females herself, while hinting every day that she is more than available to sexual escapades with males or females. Is that disgusting or what?
Her instructions at the office are not thought through, make often no sense whatsoever and are completely inefficient. This woman thirsts for any kind of power she can get her hands on, going so far as to assault anyone that clearly shows a higher intelligence than she possesses. She will single me out at work and give me idiotic instructions in an attempt to make it seem that she is better than me.

How would you guys handle that challenge?

 

[Silver.]

I really don't understand the amount of negativity that you are feeling for these people. I mean, why wouldn't you just take your problems to human resources as it is clear that there is professional lines being crossed all over the place. Or (if possible) find a new job?
What sort of boundaries are you putting up? Because when I have clear boundaries in place, people don't come to me with this type of stuff, and I don't notice it going on.
I also think that it would be good to practice a bit more positivity as there seems to be a lot of hatred towards several of your coworkers, perhaps you could practice this in setting boundaries and enforcing them.

 

[IamFree]

Yes indeed it is all about the boundaries. I discovered I can even attract these types of people people unconciosly as I can have this codependent need to rescue people. its been important for me to take just as big a look at myself and why I fall into these relationship patterns.

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

I agree, setting boundaries towards these people is probably the best course of action when it comes to having personal space. However, it's also important to step back and ask yourself why you feel such hatred towards your co-workers. Maybe they are desperate and not very intelligent, but that doesn't warrant, say, awful things happening to them. Which I'm sure you,re not wishing upon them at all - you just want to be left alone. Still, for your personal benefit only, it'd be helpful to find grounding techniques that could help with feelings of aggression - just so that you can focus on more important things than how ridiculous your coworkers are. It's not easy, that's for sure, and don't worry if it's hard to do. Even the best of people get angry at things coworkers do.

If that one woman is aggressively making her way into your personal space, firmly assert your boundary for her to stop, and that you feel uncomfortable by her constant approaches. Might she get angry? Maybe, but your comfort and safety in the workplace is more important than her frustration.

And yes, contacting a human resources or upper management about it if it persists might help a lot. Certainly these women have jobs to do too, don't they? It's a little odd that they'd be talking to others constantly rather than focusing on their work.

 

[Friday]

When I don't get on with the culture somewhere, I usually leave.

In fact, I sort of revel in being able to do so :sneaky: As the jobs I started out doing weren't ones you can leave if you don't like your colleagues, boss, job description, etc.

Granted, the upside to not being able to leave was the necessity of getting really strong in my own self / who the people are around me? Doesn't affect who I am. But the benefit of at will employment is being able to do just that; I don't like the people I'm working with? I can apply elsewhere.

The middle ground? Like I'm picking up short term, causal work? I'm not there to make friends. And I'm not going to be there that long. And what we're doing doesn't matter / lives aren't on the line. It's just a paycheck Shrug. So who the people are around me? Doesn't matter.

 

[Freedomfighter]

When I don't get on with the culture somewhere, I usually leave.

In fact, I sort of revel in being abl...

Yeah, I am at that place too mentally. It is a job, and in my situation these coworkers are all connected to stalkers that have assaulted me for the past 5 years. When I took this job I did not know this of course. I did not know any of these people but gradually I learned that they are indeed connected to my stalkers. As soon as I took this job they all attacked me and it took me a little bit of time to just realize that these people are communicating the hate of my stalkers towards me.
Most people do not understand the hate that stalkers can sow among other people. I had to deal with this hate from these strangers at work from day one because they are being trained by my stalkers to hurt me. Their own jealousy towards me plays a huge part too though and they attempt to hurt me physically and mentally every day I show up at work. I try to not talk to them, I even have to watch out wherever I go in that workplace because they will shove items in my way or come up from behind me to hurt me physically. They are extremely aggressive towards me even though I constantly try to get away from them.

Their friends will come running and lie about them and attempt to shift the blame onto me by saying that I should not hate them. Well, anyone who gets hurt physically and mentally by aggressive criminals at work every day while trying to do their work quietly will hate such perpetrators.

It is obvious that stalkers will place such friends everywhere to get to the victims. I have to deal with friends of these stalkers in every chat group or forum group that I go to online because they search for me everywhere. Then they will convince their friends to speak out against me in such forums to attempt to shift the blame away from themselves and to make it look like it is me that is not quite right.
They have hacked into my bank accounts via friends that work at those banks, they stole my credit card information, they try to run into me with their cars. And then someone will attempt to tell me not to hate such criminals?

My stalkers have used these methods time and time again. It is a very childish way of avoiding the truth but victims learn and they will never stop telling the truth about stalkers and they will tell such truths to their so called friends too.

All of these people at work enjoy to hurt innocent victims. They know that I am ill, that I have been harassed by these stalkers, yet they will attempt to harass me because the stalkers have befriended them, told them lies about me. It is not just that, they are not good people, they are desperate people with no life who will attempt to destroy others to make themselves feel better.

I am a female that has gotten much attention from males, mostly ignored or laughed off. Whenever that happens these females go off, because many of them have totally messed up their lives, have no recourse, with lots of kids they can not feed, running after every male they can get, and just scoring loosers.

Nope, will never be afraid to tell such loosers the truth.

I have figured out what I have to do in this case anyways. This scenario is another way of them trying to gang up on me and harass an innocent and sick person. Many such looser females have tried this technique.

 

[Friday]

Nope, will never be afraid to tell such loosers the truth.

I generally feel they don't rate it.

Nothing to do with fear. Just not worth my time.

Doesn't mean I don't lose my temper. Just that I have better things to do, than to waste even 5 seconds on someone who means nothing to me. Too many amazing people out there, and not enough time in the world for them, to waste time with idiots.

 

[Richie]

a skill that the army taught me may be applicable here. Let things go in one ear and out the other. Just because you can hear someone does not mean you have to listen to them. You dont need to get into a conversation with them by actually responding when a subtle short "uh huh" will hopefully communicate your lack of interest. Let them move on to someone else and dont let it bother you

 

[Rani G2]

@Freedomfighter,

while reading your post, I somehow felt an adrenaline rush. I dont think this might help you concretely, but I had a massive problem with power dynamic. It was high time that I find other, healthy ways to tacle that condition. Everytime I met people who were using methods to suppress others or me, I felt attracted to (Not in a sexual way, not at all). There I saw my ability to manipulate and degrade them. There I felt I need to live my power. I only used it to defend, but I also felt that I am superior (Narcissistic trait) to them intellectually. It took me a long time to learn to handle those situations by asking directly rather than playing games. No needing to stay in the power, conquering dynamic.

Still working on that....